J-Unit
01-05-2007, 03:49 PM
ER By Alli
I'll be honest about the history of my relationship with "ER." I. LOVED. THIS. SHOW. I promise you I had seen every episode up until about the 10th season, the year Noah Wyle left/got saddled with that idiot girlfriend who refused to accept pre-natal care for their child. The show had been going downhill for a while and was never the same after Clooney, Eriq La Salle, and Anthony Edwards (RIP Mark Greene) left. I thought it was the end for me. I caught an episode here and there, but I no longer made it my business to be home every Thursday night at 10. Plus, I was in college, and we all know that at most schools, weekends start on Thursday. (Or in my case, any day that ended with a "y". But that's neither here nor there).
So imagine my surprise when I found an opening in my schedule (translation: boyfriendless) a few weeks ago and started watching...and realized the episode was actually good? ER has experienced some kind of resurgance this season in terms of both its quality and its ratings. So call me a fair-weather fan but I'm back just in time to try my hand at re-capping a time-honored ER tradition: The Thanksgiving episode.
At Cook Country General, Thanksgiving usually means the probability of some sort of catastrophic and/or emotionally draining event increases ten-fold. The night started off innocently enough with some of the doctors discussing their preferred turkey making methods with a patient. Abby gets a page during the last few minutes of her shift and is supposed to ride along on a helicopter patient transport. Since the next person's turn with the helicopter on-call starts in like five minutes, she asks if they'll just take this call for her now so she can go home to her infant son. Since the next person's turn with the helicopter on call is Darlene Connor -- oh, excuse me, JANE -- the answer is obviously no. What an absolute bitch. (Note: I tend to be biased against certain actors when I have a problem with their past characters. And no, I will never be fair and give Darlene Connor another chance. God I hated her).
Darlene waxes poetic about karma, and how Abby is the one meant to take that call, and about five seconds later a young girl is brought in and promptly pukes blood all over her. Karma, like Darlene, is a bitch.
Abby boards the chopper and everyone in there was uncomfortably serious/intense. The pilot started singing some Sinatra to lighten the mood, but MY mood quickly soured when the producers attempted to employ the "cheesy song/slow motion montage of the surrounding area" trick -- straight out of the "Baywatch" playbook. I love "Baywatch" and NO ONE does the cheesy song/slow motion montage like they did. No one else will ever come close. It's the television equivalent of Barry Mannilow trying to cover all those classic 50s songs.
Back at County, Darlene (the picture of irony after having changed into bunny-colored scrubs) is explaining to Lulu, the girl who puked on her, that she is NPO, which means she can receive nothing by mouth. Darlene has NO bedside manner. Typical. Jesse Katsopolis, umm sorry, Dr. Gates, wisely steps in and takes over. He, after all, knows how to deal with little girls. He did help raise his three nieces, after all. Oops, wrong show. Oh, damnr: Alex, Sam's son, still exists. Alex and Sam were two major factors in my distaste for "ER" during recent seasons. I couldn't stand her when she was with Luka, and that episode where Alex ran away and they were chasing him cross country made me long for a "Baywatch" slo-mo segment.
Neela shows up and asks Gates why he paged her four times in the last 20 minutes. Duh. He wants you. STAT. Unfortunately this booty call would have to wait, as Neela quickly turned into a Code Blue-balls and went back to work.
Abby is at some other hospital examining the old woman her and that helicopter team are supposed to transport to Country. She doesn't want to move her and wants the warn the family the woman will be dead before they make it to County to say goodbye. I don't know the proper title for this guy that's been arguing her, he is some kind of chopper paramedic, but complete jackass also seems a fitting term. He just wants to do the job they were sent to do. Probability of him helping Abby/bonding with her during ensuing crisis: 97.3%
All of a sudden a young woman with a terrible migraine is brought into County. She gets it every year from eating stuffing. She is discussing the obvious question (why eat it if it puts you in the ER), with Ray and Sam. God I could care less about these two. This scene is rendered even more pointless by the fact that this woman is never heard from again during the entire episode. Why the hell did you waste our time with that? I was hoping that her mom was lacing the stuffing with arsenic so she could inherit insurance money or something.
Abby still wants to give the old woman a "good" death with her family. That punk chopper paramedic continues to give attitude, pointing out there is no such thing. More might have happened in this scene but I was too distracted by the "SVU" commercial that followed. Bob Saget is guest starrring on Tuesday! He also hosts that "1 vs. 100" show. NBC is really giving those 90s TV stars a second chance! Isn't John Goodman on "Studio 60?" I eagerly await Ian Ziering's guest spot on "Heroes"!
Anyway, back at County, a little love connection is brewing between Alex and Lulu. There's some Thanksgiving talk too, and some Debbie Downer, I forget who (but I'll assume it was Darlene), points out, "This holiday's a lie. The only thing the pilgrims shared with the Indians were measles." True, but it's not like they didn't share the disease with a side of mashed potatoes and turkey. That just would have been plain rude.
Some woman is brought in with a giant ornament protruding from her stomach. It seems she was impaled while fighting over a designer bag at a holiday sale. She fell into the nativity display. I think that's supposed to be ironic, but I'm personally wondering why no designer goods are ever on sale at MY mall. The best my place can pull off is 10% off a Santa sweater at JC Penny. Darlene, who quickly points out the sadness of the situation, seems to be having a love connection of her own with the nerdy doctor examining the impaled woman. Because nothing spells love like a shared hatred of all things commercialized (translation: all things fun).
The old woman's heart stops beating while they are in mid-flight. The family wanted to take their chances by transporting her to county. They are unable to save her, but another call comes in. Abby and the chopper guys are the closest rescue unit to an accident scene. It seems a bus is hanging over some sort of ravine/bottomless pit, which by my inspections is nowhere near anything even resembling a road. How the hell did it veer THAT far off the road and end up like that? I guess it's best not to think about these thigs. The guys, whose shift was almost over, didn't even want to respond. But Abby and her heart of gold insisted, echoing something the jackass guy said earlier: "Darlin, it's the job." I'm telling you, they're going to bond.
Although Abby is good in a crisis, all she has to care for the dozens of injured people and to attempt any rescues is a fanny pack. WTF? You think the chopper would be better equipped than with an accessory that went out in the 90s. Last I checked fanny packs were best suited for trips to Disneyworld circa 1989. No offense to the .0003% of society still wearing one.
Abby climbs onto the bus and sees there is one woman still trapped. She tries to lift her and there's blood everywhere. While I want to empathize with her upset son, he, like most of the child actors on this show, is an annoying brat whom I cannot stand.
Lulu is getting an MRI. Alex is in the room with her and complains that his mom keeps calling his cell (those are allowed in MRI rooms?). Lulu tells him he should be happy his mom's calling to check in, because her foster mom only keeps her to get money from the state. Ouch. Apparently Lulu started throwing up at dinner...perhaps this is the arsenic storyline I've been waiting for??! Nah, it's not, and we never hear from Lulu again.
Abby puts that kid to work after she convinces him it'll be okay to leave his mom alone on the bus. She gives him her iPod. Okay. Did she put it on shuffle? If so, what if something like "The Jitterbug" by Wham! came on? Not the most reassuring song in the world. Am I the only person who thinks about stuff like this?
There's some more slo-mo, cheesy song stuff going on, to which I again implore the producers to leave it to "Baywatch." Abby's back on the bus with that trapped woman. How much you wanna bet that jackass is gonna have a change of heart and decide he wants to help at the last minute? Yup, I totally called it. He brought her something to help cut the seat or whatever was trapping the woman. They then somehow get her strapped to a backboard. As they get her out of the bus, we realize the bus is dangerously close to tipping over the ravine. My first inclination is that things are not going to end well for this man. I thought he was going to be one of those "I do one nice thing in my life for someone else and then I get screwed" type of characters, but he and Abby make it off the bus. And not a moment too soon! Another catastrophe averted by the "ER" docs. That's gotta be like 86 ER docs, 0 catastrophes. Other huge averted catastrophies that come to mind: bio-chemical exposure in the ER in which everyone must be evacuated. Smallpox outbreak in the ER, everyone must be evacuated. Catastrophic train crash. Catastrophic lightning storm. Disgruntled father goes on killing spree. Nurse kidnapped by gangbangers and ordered to tend to their injured brother. The list just goes on.
But I digress. Gates and Neela are waiting on the roof for a chopper. Dayumm he's smitten. They better watch their arms. That was on catastrophe that was NOT averted by the ER staff...guess catastrophe has a point after all.
Okay, where have I seen Courtney Brown, Weaver's new love interest, before? Pratt is in the locker room with them; after she leaves he asks Weaver to hook him up. "Your gaydar is terrible. Even for a straight man," she tells him. He asks about his brother, whom he walked in on with a guy. The brother said it was only a phase. "Can a straight guy go through a gay phase?" No. That means you are gay. And almost all of my college boyfriends will confirm.
Yessss...here comes the bonding moment between Abby and that dude. "You're pretty tough for a girl" he tells her. Oh, older, hardass guys with their outdated stereotypes about women. There's a character you just don't see often enough in movies/TV. Or the White House.
Neela goes back to Gates' place with him, pounds some wine (always seems like a good idea at the time), and talks about how she's thought about being there with him "a lot" -- but not "creepy" a lot. What exactly makes something cross into "creepy" a lot territory? It's actually a pretty hilarious intro into sex. Maybe because many of my own dates are just as, if not, more awkward than this. Gates' ex and her daughter walk in on them. The ex makes some comment about how he needs to start using a coaster for his drinks and books it outta there. Yeah, or she could start using a doorbell. Or he could start using a lock. Or a bedroom (I think they were on a pullout couch?). Just throwin that out there.
The episode ends with a classic "ER" holiday bonding moment, in this case a shared Thanksgiving dinner brought in by Luka. Thoughts at large: Sam is not as annoying when she's not dating with Luka. Abby's a very quiet hero, and doesn't tell anyone about what happened on her chopper ride-along, but I find it exremely hard to believe everyone just assumes she simply went to get thet old woman. Isn't County have like the biggest emergency facility around? Weren't any of the victims brought there? Didn't anyone bother to tell County there was a bus hanging over a giant ravine? Abby and Luka's son is adorable. Darlene's a vegan. I feel the writers throw that last bit in to personally annoy me. What did everyone else think?
I'll be honest about the history of my relationship with "ER." I. LOVED. THIS. SHOW. I promise you I had seen every episode up until about the 10th season, the year Noah Wyle left/got saddled with that idiot girlfriend who refused to accept pre-natal care for their child. The show had been going downhill for a while and was never the same after Clooney, Eriq La Salle, and Anthony Edwards (RIP Mark Greene) left. I thought it was the end for me. I caught an episode here and there, but I no longer made it my business to be home every Thursday night at 10. Plus, I was in college, and we all know that at most schools, weekends start on Thursday. (Or in my case, any day that ended with a "y". But that's neither here nor there).
So imagine my surprise when I found an opening in my schedule (translation: boyfriendless) a few weeks ago and started watching...and realized the episode was actually good? ER has experienced some kind of resurgance this season in terms of both its quality and its ratings. So call me a fair-weather fan but I'm back just in time to try my hand at re-capping a time-honored ER tradition: The Thanksgiving episode.
At Cook Country General, Thanksgiving usually means the probability of some sort of catastrophic and/or emotionally draining event increases ten-fold. The night started off innocently enough with some of the doctors discussing their preferred turkey making methods with a patient. Abby gets a page during the last few minutes of her shift and is supposed to ride along on a helicopter patient transport. Since the next person's turn with the helicopter on-call starts in like five minutes, she asks if they'll just take this call for her now so she can go home to her infant son. Since the next person's turn with the helicopter on call is Darlene Connor -- oh, excuse me, JANE -- the answer is obviously no. What an absolute bitch. (Note: I tend to be biased against certain actors when I have a problem with their past characters. And no, I will never be fair and give Darlene Connor another chance. God I hated her).
Darlene waxes poetic about karma, and how Abby is the one meant to take that call, and about five seconds later a young girl is brought in and promptly pukes blood all over her. Karma, like Darlene, is a bitch.
Abby boards the chopper and everyone in there was uncomfortably serious/intense. The pilot started singing some Sinatra to lighten the mood, but MY mood quickly soured when the producers attempted to employ the "cheesy song/slow motion montage of the surrounding area" trick -- straight out of the "Baywatch" playbook. I love "Baywatch" and NO ONE does the cheesy song/slow motion montage like they did. No one else will ever come close. It's the television equivalent of Barry Mannilow trying to cover all those classic 50s songs.
Back at County, Darlene (the picture of irony after having changed into bunny-colored scrubs) is explaining to Lulu, the girl who puked on her, that she is NPO, which means she can receive nothing by mouth. Darlene has NO bedside manner. Typical. Jesse Katsopolis, umm sorry, Dr. Gates, wisely steps in and takes over. He, after all, knows how to deal with little girls. He did help raise his three nieces, after all. Oops, wrong show. Oh, damnr: Alex, Sam's son, still exists. Alex and Sam were two major factors in my distaste for "ER" during recent seasons. I couldn't stand her when she was with Luka, and that episode where Alex ran away and they were chasing him cross country made me long for a "Baywatch" slo-mo segment.
Neela shows up and asks Gates why he paged her four times in the last 20 minutes. Duh. He wants you. STAT. Unfortunately this booty call would have to wait, as Neela quickly turned into a Code Blue-balls and went back to work.
Abby is at some other hospital examining the old woman her and that helicopter team are supposed to transport to Country. She doesn't want to move her and wants the warn the family the woman will be dead before they make it to County to say goodbye. I don't know the proper title for this guy that's been arguing her, he is some kind of chopper paramedic, but complete jackass also seems a fitting term. He just wants to do the job they were sent to do. Probability of him helping Abby/bonding with her during ensuing crisis: 97.3%
All of a sudden a young woman with a terrible migraine is brought into County. She gets it every year from eating stuffing. She is discussing the obvious question (why eat it if it puts you in the ER), with Ray and Sam. God I could care less about these two. This scene is rendered even more pointless by the fact that this woman is never heard from again during the entire episode. Why the hell did you waste our time with that? I was hoping that her mom was lacing the stuffing with arsenic so she could inherit insurance money or something.
Abby still wants to give the old woman a "good" death with her family. That punk chopper paramedic continues to give attitude, pointing out there is no such thing. More might have happened in this scene but I was too distracted by the "SVU" commercial that followed. Bob Saget is guest starrring on Tuesday! He also hosts that "1 vs. 100" show. NBC is really giving those 90s TV stars a second chance! Isn't John Goodman on "Studio 60?" I eagerly await Ian Ziering's guest spot on "Heroes"!
Anyway, back at County, a little love connection is brewing between Alex and Lulu. There's some Thanksgiving talk too, and some Debbie Downer, I forget who (but I'll assume it was Darlene), points out, "This holiday's a lie. The only thing the pilgrims shared with the Indians were measles." True, but it's not like they didn't share the disease with a side of mashed potatoes and turkey. That just would have been plain rude.
Some woman is brought in with a giant ornament protruding from her stomach. It seems she was impaled while fighting over a designer bag at a holiday sale. She fell into the nativity display. I think that's supposed to be ironic, but I'm personally wondering why no designer goods are ever on sale at MY mall. The best my place can pull off is 10% off a Santa sweater at JC Penny. Darlene, who quickly points out the sadness of the situation, seems to be having a love connection of her own with the nerdy doctor examining the impaled woman. Because nothing spells love like a shared hatred of all things commercialized (translation: all things fun).
The old woman's heart stops beating while they are in mid-flight. The family wanted to take their chances by transporting her to county. They are unable to save her, but another call comes in. Abby and the chopper guys are the closest rescue unit to an accident scene. It seems a bus is hanging over some sort of ravine/bottomless pit, which by my inspections is nowhere near anything even resembling a road. How the hell did it veer THAT far off the road and end up like that? I guess it's best not to think about these thigs. The guys, whose shift was almost over, didn't even want to respond. But Abby and her heart of gold insisted, echoing something the jackass guy said earlier: "Darlin, it's the job." I'm telling you, they're going to bond.
Although Abby is good in a crisis, all she has to care for the dozens of injured people and to attempt any rescues is a fanny pack. WTF? You think the chopper would be better equipped than with an accessory that went out in the 90s. Last I checked fanny packs were best suited for trips to Disneyworld circa 1989. No offense to the .0003% of society still wearing one.
Abby climbs onto the bus and sees there is one woman still trapped. She tries to lift her and there's blood everywhere. While I want to empathize with her upset son, he, like most of the child actors on this show, is an annoying brat whom I cannot stand.
Lulu is getting an MRI. Alex is in the room with her and complains that his mom keeps calling his cell (those are allowed in MRI rooms?). Lulu tells him he should be happy his mom's calling to check in, because her foster mom only keeps her to get money from the state. Ouch. Apparently Lulu started throwing up at dinner...perhaps this is the arsenic storyline I've been waiting for??! Nah, it's not, and we never hear from Lulu again.
Abby puts that kid to work after she convinces him it'll be okay to leave his mom alone on the bus. She gives him her iPod. Okay. Did she put it on shuffle? If so, what if something like "The Jitterbug" by Wham! came on? Not the most reassuring song in the world. Am I the only person who thinks about stuff like this?
There's some more slo-mo, cheesy song stuff going on, to which I again implore the producers to leave it to "Baywatch." Abby's back on the bus with that trapped woman. How much you wanna bet that jackass is gonna have a change of heart and decide he wants to help at the last minute? Yup, I totally called it. He brought her something to help cut the seat or whatever was trapping the woman. They then somehow get her strapped to a backboard. As they get her out of the bus, we realize the bus is dangerously close to tipping over the ravine. My first inclination is that things are not going to end well for this man. I thought he was going to be one of those "I do one nice thing in my life for someone else and then I get screwed" type of characters, but he and Abby make it off the bus. And not a moment too soon! Another catastrophe averted by the "ER" docs. That's gotta be like 86 ER docs, 0 catastrophes. Other huge averted catastrophies that come to mind: bio-chemical exposure in the ER in which everyone must be evacuated. Smallpox outbreak in the ER, everyone must be evacuated. Catastrophic train crash. Catastrophic lightning storm. Disgruntled father goes on killing spree. Nurse kidnapped by gangbangers and ordered to tend to their injured brother. The list just goes on.
But I digress. Gates and Neela are waiting on the roof for a chopper. Dayumm he's smitten. They better watch their arms. That was on catastrophe that was NOT averted by the ER staff...guess catastrophe has a point after all.
Okay, where have I seen Courtney Brown, Weaver's new love interest, before? Pratt is in the locker room with them; after she leaves he asks Weaver to hook him up. "Your gaydar is terrible. Even for a straight man," she tells him. He asks about his brother, whom he walked in on with a guy. The brother said it was only a phase. "Can a straight guy go through a gay phase?" No. That means you are gay. And almost all of my college boyfriends will confirm.
Yessss...here comes the bonding moment between Abby and that dude. "You're pretty tough for a girl" he tells her. Oh, older, hardass guys with their outdated stereotypes about women. There's a character you just don't see often enough in movies/TV. Or the White House.
Neela goes back to Gates' place with him, pounds some wine (always seems like a good idea at the time), and talks about how she's thought about being there with him "a lot" -- but not "creepy" a lot. What exactly makes something cross into "creepy" a lot territory? It's actually a pretty hilarious intro into sex. Maybe because many of my own dates are just as, if not, more awkward than this. Gates' ex and her daughter walk in on them. The ex makes some comment about how he needs to start using a coaster for his drinks and books it outta there. Yeah, or she could start using a doorbell. Or he could start using a lock. Or a bedroom (I think they were on a pullout couch?). Just throwin that out there.
The episode ends with a classic "ER" holiday bonding moment, in this case a shared Thanksgiving dinner brought in by Luka. Thoughts at large: Sam is not as annoying when she's not dating with Luka. Abby's a very quiet hero, and doesn't tell anyone about what happened on her chopper ride-along, but I find it exremely hard to believe everyone just assumes she simply went to get thet old woman. Isn't County have like the biggest emergency facility around? Weren't any of the victims brought there? Didn't anyone bother to tell County there was a bus hanging over a giant ravine? Abby and Luka's son is adorable. Darlene's a vegan. I feel the writers throw that last bit in to personally annoy me. What did everyone else think?