Embarrassing moments...

['tonyagasm']

I couldn't find any thread about embarrassing moments under the search column so post your most embarrassing moment here.

Mine was, (I can't beleive I'm posting this) I was dared to go watch Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants and I did...That's not it. I cried. NO I'M NOT GAY!

Come on know, I shared mine...share yours!

['tonyagasm']

Don't all post at once.
Jeez leave me hanging :blush:

You could just come and make fun of mine! :)

[jampony]

lol! Good on you for admitting you cried. Good thread, too. If there is another one, maybe tink will merge them. I wonder how many people will own up to their moments. I have none, of course. I happen to be perfect.

['tonyagasm']

I have none, of course. I happen to be perfect.

What about when you tried to talk me into having sex with you?

['tonyagasm']

Jampny no!!! Lets not make this about us. I understand how you feel, but things will NEVER change.

[jampony]

:crying:

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I would tell my camel story but I am fairly certain I already did.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I knew I had posted it. (http://forums.tvgasm.com/showpost.php?p=2486&postcount=104)

I'll try to see if I can think up another one.

[JulieM]

When I returned to college to get my degree in Accounting, I was offered the chance to interview for a company that wanted a "mature" intern. It was even a paid position. Only two students were chosen to interview and the other person was younger so I figured I had it in the bag.

I sailed through the first round of interviews and then get to interview with the CFO. I wake up that day with the adult version of whooping cough. If that wasn't bad enough, I open the newspaper to read of a childhood friends' violent death. Later that day a pissed off man enters the Tarrant County Courthouse and starts shooting killing the appellate lawyer that had been involved in my father's murder. So buy the time the interview rolls around, I'm a coughing, crying mess.

I took enough cough syrup to put an elephant in a coma. I maintained myself well with some chit chat with my almost supervisor. Finally I'm ushered into the CFO's office and here comes the tickle in my throat. I know I was getting ready to explode, but this train was headed for major wreckage. I finally let loose with a cough attack that lasted for five minutes and I'm not talking just coughing. My nose started running like a river. Finally got settled down and when he asks if I'm ready to go on, I just started bawling like a baby. I never was able to compose myself. They gave me one more "mercy" interview and needless to say, they gave the job to the younger girl.

Years later I was in talking to the deparment head about changing my major and he related the story of the young girl not able to compose herself and coughing during an interview....

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Aww Julie that story makes me want to hug you {{{{{Julie}}}}

Poor thing. And to have all that happen and end up a cautionary tale, yikes. :unsure2:

[RachWho?]

Oh Julie, that's embarassing, but moreso just a story of you being tortured beyond belief by circumstances! Poor thing!

Most of my embarassing stories are about me saying really stupid things that my family won't let go and the bring up at every opportunity. For example...one year, when I was in junior high or something, I was listening to election coverage on TV because I decided I should be informed. I heard some notice about the first Native American congressman being elected (or something like that) and then later, something about Bob Dole being the Senate Minority Leader. I put two and two together and decided that meant that Bob Dole was the Native American, since minority must mean minority as in race. So later my parents were talking about Bob Dole and I said, "Did you know he was the FIRST Native American elected to Congress?" because I wanted them to be impressed with my political knowledge. They both looked at me like I was an idiot, asked me what I meant, then looked at me like I was a bigger idiot, and it has been a running joke ever since.

[Pekmboyd]

Oh Julie, that's embarassing, but moreso just a story of you being tortured beyond belief by circumstances! Poor thing!

Most of my embarassing stories are about me saying really stupid things that my family won't let go and the bring up at every opportunity. For example...one year, when I was in junior high or something, I was listening to election coverage on TV because I decided I should be informed. I heard some notice about the first Native American congressman being elected (or something like that) and then later, something about Bob Dole being the Senate Minority Leader. I put two and two together and decided that meant that Bob Dole was the Native American, since minority must mean minority as in race. So later my parents were talking about Bob Dole and I said, "Did you know he was the FIRST Native American elected to Congress?" because I wanted them to be impressed with my political knowledge. They both looked at me like I was an idiot, asked me what I meant, then looked at me like I was a bigger idiot, and it has been a running joke ever since.

Mine are usually foot-in-mouth moments too, Rach. There was the time I ran in to tell my mom about this movie in the TV Guide that was the LONGEST movie I had ever SEEN. It was called "Off Air".

[chooch850]

I farted in an elevator once.

[Quidam]

I farted in an elevator and said it was Chooch. http://forums.photobucket.com/images/smilies/giggle.gif

[Clair]

I had a job interview where I asked the interviewer if the picture on her desk was of her and her dad. No, it was her and her husband. I wasn't hired.

[Firecat]

I was very young and in Canada sitting in the Dentists chair....and I saw this picture of this dude on the wall with a mustache, dressed up as the tooth fairy. Anyway, I asked if it was Saddam Hussein (this was around the time of the 1st Gulf war)....anyway it was actually my dentist in the picture (I think he was Jewish too). He told my mom afterwards, and I think she was a little embarrased.

[Ms. Tumnus]

I got drunk and puked at one of my work Christmas parties...it was a noon to 5 p.m. affair.

So proud.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I used to work in a freezing cold office. As our way to deal with the cold a few of us put little candles out on the edge of our desks. It was a great way to warm our hands and it made the office smell mighty pretty.

On one particular day I leaned forward to grab something and when I sat back I heard a weird crinkling sound. I looked down and saw my sweater was on fire. I jumped up, shrieked, pulled my sweater off, threw it on the floor and stomped on it til it went out.

The strange thing was I still heard that sound. Then I realized my hair was on fire too. I quickly patted it out and stood there gasping after it was all over.

I looked up and the cleaning guy who came to water our plants had been standing there watching the whole thing. He was too shocked to come and actually HELP me.

Fortunately I don't wear any hair spray or mousse or it would have been an entirely different story. I just lost a few inches on the left side. But our receptionist was also a stylist so she managed to help me make it presentable.

From that day forward everyone at work called me Hot Head.... well that is until the lip incident. I won't go into that now.

[ScotyUtah]

At Myrtle Beach one year, I made it my mission to naked cannonball into every pool I could see on the way to a party. On the ninth NCB, I emerged from the depths to a waiting police officer who promptly took me to jail for DIP. My clothes were left laying at poolside. They gave me a sheet at the station and luckily I didn't have to hang out with the other drunk bums for long because my brothers came and bailed me out.

[Ms. Tumnus]

At Myrtle Beach one year, I made it my mission to naked cannonball into every pool I could see on the way to a party. On the ninth NCB, I emerged from the depths to a waiting police officer who promptly took me to jail for DIP. My clothes were left laying at poolside. They gave me a sheet at the station and luckily I didn't have to hang out with the other drunk bums for long because my brothers came and bailed me out.

Classic Scoty.

[minda07]

I have many embarissing things that have happened to me but this one time at band camp .......

No really, I was newly 18 and went to my first night club - Baha Beach Club - I had this cute tight little black dress on my hair and makeup done. I looked good when I left the house. While I am walking around the club people are staring at me and I think that I am the shit - they all see how good I look - then I see my reflection in a mirror - I had a white bra and panties on under my black dress and they were shinning through because I of the blacklights. I was mortified - you could see them perfectly as if I had nothing on over them - I learned my lesson to never wear white under black!:scared:

[RachWho?]

Classic Scoty.

Totally...and it reminds me of an embarassing story belonging to a relative of mine (I'll protect his specific identity), too funny, have to share. He's a doctor, and he was in another city for a conference. He was staying at a "European style hotel"--had an atrium in the middle with a pool, and all the rooms faced into the atrium/pool, you get the picture. Anyway, when he was walking past the pool, he sees this guy swimming naked in the pool and he thinks, "Guess that's part of the 'European style'..." so he goes up to his room, takes off his clothes, grabs a towel, and goes down to the pool. He starts swimming laps and soon a family with kids shows up (he is a parent himself) and he feels uncomfortable noticing that THEY have swimsuits on, so he decides to get out. He hops out, grabs his towel, and only then notices the man he saw on his way in lounging poolside in FLESH-COLORED TRUNKS! :lol:

[Karo]

I have many embarissing things that have happened to me but this one time at band camp .......

No really, I was newly 18 and went to my first night club - Baha Beach Club - I had this cute tight little black dress on my hair and makeup done. I looked good when I left the house. While I am walking around the club people are staring at me and I think that I am the shit - they all see how good I look - then I see my reflection in a mirror - I had a white bra and panties on under my black dress and they were shinning through because I of the blacklights. I was mortified - you could see them perfectly as if I had nothing on over them - I learned my lesson to never wear white under black!:scared:


It wasn't the lights, it was 'cause you were wearing your dress on your hair.

[minda07]

It wasn't the lights, it was 'cause you were wearing your dress on your hair.

hahahaha - I missed a (-) in between there!

[ScotyUtah]

I learned my lesson to never wear white under black!:scared:

The lesson learned should've been "always go commando".

[LonnaSaur]

Just a few months ago I left my apartment, walked to the bus stop at the corner, waited for the bus, boarded, sat down, rode to the subway, got off, walked to the subway station and down the escalator, waited for a train, boarded the train and rode it standing up to my stop, got off, walked through the station, got on an escalator that is so long it takes more than one minute to get to the top if you stand still, and THEN some woman told me my skirt was tucked in my panty hose.

[minda07]

Oh no Lonna! That is the worst.

[Ms. Tumnus]

Just a few months ago I left my apartment, walked to the bus stop at the corner, waited for the bus, boarded, sat down, rode to the subway, got off, walked to the subway station and down the escalator, waited for a train, boarded the train and rode it standing up to my stop, got off, walked through the station, got on an escalator that is so long it takes more than one minute to get to the top if you stand still, and THEN some woman told me my skirt was tucked in my panty hose.

Nice.

I think people are often embarassed to say something in case it's on purpose (though why someone would purposely tuck your skirt into your pantyhose is beyond me). My mom gets cold sores and whenever she has one people are always telling her she has chocolate or sauce, or something on her face.

[angiemarie]

From that day forward everyone at work called me Hot Head.... well that is until the lip incident. I won't go into that now.

I want to work with you, tink. I think it would be like living in a Jerry Lewis movie or the Dick Van Dyke tv show. lol.



When I was six year's old, I wore my pants backwards all day long. They didn't have a zipper, but they did have pockets in the front, so you think that would have given me a clue. I don't know if all my 1st grade classmates were laughing at me, or if they were just as unobservant as me, but no one said a thing. I came home from school, and my mom said "Why the hell are your pants on backwards?" Needless to say, I wasn't permitted out the house in the morning without a complete inspection after that.

I wish I had outgrown this terrible affliction of being oblivious, but I have worn shirts/sweaters inside-out in public too many times to count. The last time was a few months ago at work. Again, no one said anything! I noticed when I was washing my hands in the ladies room, I ran back in a stall and quickly fixed my sweater. When I asked my coworkers why they hadn't told me, they said they hadn't noticed, but I think they were having too much fun waiting to see how long it would take me to notice. Bastards!

[JulieM]

Oh Lonna that is awful. I've come close to doing that, but never made it out of the bathroom.

Way back in the late 80's, I took a part time job at Sanger Harris (then Foley's and now Macy's) so that I could get a discount on clothes and shoes. Several times a year we were given huge discounts so I put my gift-wrapping talents to work.

I needed pumps for my job and Calico made these great ones in a zillion colors. I think with my discount I got them for 20 bucks so I bought black, navy, grey, brown, red, purple, dark green and PINK. Trust me, I had something to go with everything. I got on the elevator one morning and noticed everyone looking at my feet. I was too scared to look down until I got off the elevator and yup...I had on one black shoe and one purple shoe. Duh.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Ooh I have a clothing one to add to the list of clothing embarassments. I went and got my hair done, went shopping, got an oil change and headed home, on the way home I stopped at my sister's to drop something off and she turned me around and pulled the long sticker off my butt and down my thigh. You know the one that lists your size over and over again? Yup new jeans.

How delightful.

[aca607]

About a year ago I was working in an office where you had to wear dress clothes every day. I know most offices are like that (the place I work at now I can wear a sweatshirt and jeans every day-thank god!), but I hate to wear dress clothes. I had bought a two pairs of pants at old navy-one pair was white and the other one tan. I had only tried on the tan ones before I left the store, big mistake on my part.
I had decided to wear them one day during the spring. Me, being the outrageous colored skimpy underwear type, I only had one pair of white underwear. I guess I must not have turned around when I looked in the mirror before I left. I had worn the white pants all day and no one said anything. I went to visit a friend after work and as I was getting ready to walk out the door, this friend says to me "I bet I can tell you what kind of underwear you are wearing." I was like "yeah, ok!" And he said, "They are white thongs with a tiny pink bow in the middle and pink trim at the top." He was completely right. Apparently you couldn't see through them in the front (the only angle I saw in the morning) but my underwear was plain as day in the back.
Those pants have stayed in my closet ever since.

[RachWho?]

Ooh I have a clothing one to add to the list of clothing embarassments. I went and got my hair done, went shopping, got an oil change and headed home, on the way home I stopped at my sister's to drop something off and she turned me around and pulled the long sticker off my butt and down my thigh. You know the one that lists your size over and over again? Yup new jeans.

How delightful.

Tink, that just happened to me last week with a new shirt! My husband pointed at me and pulled it off around 8PM that night and I said, "You know, I've been wearing this all day!" and he said, "Well, I didn't notice 'till now!" and I said, "I guess you don't look at my boobs as much as I thought" since that was RIGHT where the sticker was.

And Angie, regarding wearing clothes backwards, my aunt and uncle had a nontradtional wedding (finally decided to tie the knot after being together for about 20 years) and she bought a cute little dress at a boutique and they got married outdoors in a ceremony with a justice of the peace in front of my family. Anyway, after it was all over, my aunt realized that her dress was backwards the whole time! You really couldn't tell, but she wondered if it was bad luck! Guess not, they are still together almost over 15 years later...

[photochild]

I recently met my dream man. Lying on the floor. I was walking out of the building of the new office and the sidewalk is a little crooked (ok not that much, but I tell myself that for comfort) and I fell. On my knees and then splat on my boobs. It was so utterly embarassing. And the guy who was nearby smoking just glanced over and continued his cell convo. Then this gorgeous white Mercedes pulls up and a guy rolls down his windows and asks if I'm ok. I say I am and then I see him. Good god he was a perfect specimen of a man. He said if I was really hurt he'd take me to the hospital and I really should have jumped at the opportunity to be fawned after by a pretty man, but I said I was fine. I haven't seen him since.

[Karo]

I recently met my dream man. Lying on the floor. I was walking out of the building of the new office and the sidewalk is a little crooked (ok not that much, but I tell myself that for comfort) and I fell. On my knees and then splat on my boobs. It was so utterly embarassing. And the guy who was nearby smoking just glanced over and continued his cell convo. Then this gorgeous white Mercedes pulls up and a guy rolls down his windows and asks if I'm ok. I say I am and then I see him. Good god he was a perfect specimen of a man. He said if I was really hurt he'd take me to the hospital and I really should have jumped at the opportunity to be fawned after by a pretty man, but I said I was fine. I haven't seen him since.

It's a good thing you have those huge knockers to cushion your fall. Maybe this was just foreshadowing and you'll meet the man again, he'll ask after your boobs and you'll ride off into the sunset.

[minda07]

I recently met my dream man. Lying on the floor. I was walking out of the building of the new office and the sidewalk is a little crooked (ok not that much, but I tell myself that for comfort) and I fell. On my knees and then splat on my boobs. It was so utterly embarassing. And the guy who was nearby smoking just glanced over and continued his cell convo. Then this gorgeous white Mercedes pulls up and a guy rolls down his windows and asks if I'm ok. I say I am and then I see him. Good god he was a perfect specimen of a man. He said if I was really hurt he'd take me to the hospital and I really should have jumped at the opportunity to be fawned after by a pretty man, but I said I was fine. I haven't seen him since.

PC - you should have taken the ride - if only to call a cab and go right back to work!

You just reminded me of my falling story. I was at Publix grocery shopping and I was on the phone talking about the govenor election that was going on the next day. I turned down the isle and took three steps when my foot slipped out from under me, I flew through the air, landed on my side all twisted with my skirt heaved up around my waist, my cell phone and entire contents of my purse are all over the isle. Lipstick rolling, birth control container spinning, lint brush all the way at the other end of the isle. This guy looks at me asks me if I am ok - I say I think so and he runs away - the stock boy in the isle pretends not to have seen it - and some 90 year old lady helps me up and helps me pick up my things. The 90 year old lady tells me its ok - it happens to her all the time! It made me smile, but once I got to my car I cried big aligator tears because I was all scrapped up. For the next 2 weeks I had the ugliest bruises on my knee and elbow.

[Ms. Tumnus]

I walk to work and carry an over-the-shoulder messenger-type bag. Apparently when I'm wearing certain skirts or dresses, including the one I'm wearing today, the friction of the bag rubbing against my hip tugs at the skirt, causing it to rise. When I'm wearing tights, I don't feel the skirt rising, so when I got to work today and took on my (thankfully long) coat, the skirt was around my waist. I'm just glad I have my own office and don't work in an open area cause I would have flashed everyone.

[LonnaSaur]

All these clothing-related incidents just made me think of something I had forgotten for years. When I was in college I would take the T in Boston/Cambridge to get groceries because they were cheaper than where I lived. One night I was walking through the T station after shopping with grocery bags in both hands. I was wearing a dress and I kept feeling something sort of pulling at my legs, but it was very subtle and I didn't think too much of it. I just kept walking and wound up walking right out of the half slip I was wearing. The tugging feeling was the slip as it made its way slowly down my hips and legs. Apparently the elastic was shot and I didn't know it. I had to put my bags down and go retrieve the slip from the floor a few steps behind me. Luckily no one else was really around but I still felt really dumb!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Aww - Starting to think we all have clothing mishaps. Which makes me feel somewhat better about mine.

A few years ago I was at work leaning over a jammed shredder, trying my best to unjam the thing. I realized someone was there and looked up to see our very sleazy creepy oily scuzzy Consultant staring at me - with that look on his face. I followed his gaze and realized bending down like that he could see straight down my dress and down my bra, hell he could see all the way down to my waist. I had lost a lot of weight so the dress was quite loose (by the way, I have since found the weight :mellow:).

When I looked back up part mortified / part furious I realized he was having an embarassing moment of his own. He quickly covered his up by holding his file folder in front of his lap, gave me a lascivious grin and walked off.

I was shaking with disgust.

[Ms. Tumnus]

Ew Tink. I think I'd need a shower after that.

[Pegster]

When I was working at Neiman's, doing my part to help keep Philadelphia beautiful, I always had a soft spot for the customers everyone else ignored - even if they ignored them for good reason.

This one day, I was assisting this mildy nutty woman who basically sucked the life out of me by continuously looking at every counter and having me explain to her every new product, all the ingredients...etc. for what seemend like an entire day.

So she says she's looking for liquid eyeliner, and I have her in the chair & I'm showing her all of the different choices she has. One of the liners was liquid which had a twist-up function. It was broken - I twisted and twisted and twisted - NOTHING. All of a sudden it basically exploded and this huge glob of black eyeliner shot straight out, and almost as though it had a honing device, splattered all over this lady's face and shirt.

Everyone stopped and stared, and was trying not too laugh (I, being the Irish/half-vampire, blushed profusely) while I tried to clean off her hair, face, and, um...ample bosom. Our Op's manager came down and offered to get her a new shirt, but we didn't have anything to fit her (nothing in Neiman's is over a size 12).

While it should have been embarassing for her, she didn't seem to mind. She even wrote a letter to our store manager about what an asset I was to the store.
...
Oh, and Tink.....eeeeeewwwww. Creepy. I feel your pain.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

When I was working at Neiman's, doing my part to help keep Philadelphia beautiful, I always had a soft spot for the customers everyone else ignored - even if they ignored them for good reason.

While it should have been embarassing for her, she didn't seem to mind. She even wrote a letter to our store manager about what an asset I was to the store....

Goes to show that it pays to be nice to people. You were probably the only person who ever paid her any attention in that store. :)

[Clair]

I have a creepy-person-from-work story. I used to work at a hospital and the director of human resources was really, really creepy. When I first met him, he made references to Fritz the Cat which I kind of blew off (didn't want to make waves) but then things got worse. He stopped in to my office and started talking about all sorts of sexual things, like the reason why women wear lipstick - because it reminds men of vaginas. I was pregnant around this time and the next time he stopped by my office he started talking about how when his wife was giving birth he "hypnotized" her so she could deal with the pain. He talked about it so much that I was afraid he'd pop into the delivery room when it was my time "to help me out". I went to the Director of Nurses and told her of my concerns and they made a new policy that if you weren't a Labor and Delivery employee, you weren't allowed back in the Labor and Delivery section. I also told her about the lipstick comment and she had me put it all in writing. THANKFULLY a co-worker was there at the time who witnessed the entire conversation and she agreed to add her signature to my comments. I decided I didn't want Administration to actually DO anything to this guy because I had heard he had a gun collection and he was just soooo creepy that I was afraid he'd come after me, but I did want everything in writing in case things got worse.

I moved out of the state not long afterwards but I heard he eventually got fired.

[RachWho?]

Tink and Clair, those are not embarassing stories, those are downright scary...especially yours, Clair! What the hell is wrong with people?!?

[Ms. Tumnus]

Ew ew ew.

When I was an awkward teenager I worked at the snack bar at the arena in town. One of the other employees was a short, obese man in his forties who was incredibly creepy.

Since it was cold, and we were making fries, burgers, onion rings, etc. and I would always wear this ratty old sweatshirt that was a few sizes too big and covered in grease stains -- hardly "sexy". He would always make comments about how I "looked cold" while looking pointedly at my boobs.

He'd make comments about some of the other girls, would fuck up orders and blame the other staff, and his big joke was to say "wanna see a picture of my ex wife?" and produce a picture of a dog (one he'd obviously cut out of a magazine) that he carried around in his wallet.

The last straw was when he tapped my ass with a chopping knife as I was bending down to get something out of the lower shelves. A bunch of us ended up complaining and he was fired eventually. I found out a few months later that he had been charged with molesting his infant daughter. Great.

[lennonwhore]

here.s an embarassing AND cautionary tale all rolled into one:

the AC had gone out at my place over the summer, so it was about a billion degrees and super humid; and i, just wanting to not be so damn hot, slept with just a t-shirt on. i woke up one morning and it felt like a bug had bit me on my butt, but it wasn.t really itching or painful so i kind of shrugged it off. the next day, i couldn.t sit for long periods of time and i was running a fever. i called my mom who told my dad (which is embarassing, dad.s shouldn.t know about their grown daughter.s asses) and they told me to come home and go to the hospital on fort knox. i kind of shrugged it off, but by the NEXT day i was in agony, so i drove down to the hospital to find out i had a brown recluse bite...on MY ASS!!! to top it off, they have to cut and drain the bite and a bunch of people have to come in and help, and then i had to go to outpatient surgery every day for a week to make sure that they had removed all the infected stuff. sooo...for over a week i had to explain to laughing strangers why a spider bit me on the butt.

to this day, i will not go back to that hospital.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

i had a brown recluse bite...

Those things are reallly serious! You poor thing! My sister had one on her leg and they had to go pretty deep to get all the damage out. She had regular and plastic surgeons working on it. It's quite painful. Nothing to be embarassed about.

God I hate spiders! They are so NOT more afraid of me than I am of them. :scared:

[chooch850]

My most embarassing moment was at the hands of other people. I was at bible school camp for a week, I was 12 yrs. old. We had a cabin I shared with 4 other girls. I had to sleep on a roll-away bed because the cabin had bunks for 4 and I was an extra. I only knew one of the girls who was from our church. She was very pretty and knew it. The other girls flocked to her like she was Madonna. I didn't really care, I had friends from the next cabin over. Me and my friends went swimming in the lake one day and when I came back, I needed to take a shower to get the lake smell off me. Jackie and her little entourage were there. I hopped in the shower and washed my hair and when I got all done I realized, I had forgotten my towel. I called out to the girls and got no answer, so I peeked around the corner. The door to the cabin was wide open and my towel and all my clothes were laying outside on the lawn. I had no way to get them unless I went outside naked and retrieved them myself. It was the dinner hour and everyone was going to the mess hall to eat. I just sat in the shower, humiliated. I just wanted to go home. My friend, realizing I wasn't at dinner, came looking for me. She was so understanding. I loved her. I told my counselor, 2who had a talk with the bitches. They denied knowing anything about it. I requested another cabin and was denied. There was no room. I had to spend another 4 days with those girls. I avoided them as much as I could. It was an awful experience.

[lennonwhore]

chooch, that.s horrible! it makes me want to go back in time and punch them for you!

[chooch850]

It's strange how something that happened so long ago, is still so vivid in a person's memory. I was at bible camp, I turned the other cheek when I should have kicked their asses like you said Lennon.

Just so you know..... I hate spiders too. My mother-in-law got bit on her foot by a recluse spider and went thru much the same as you. She couldn't walk for a week. I'm for the enviroment but spider season, I get out the RAID and spray, spray, spray !!!!!!!!!!!1

[Clair]

It's strange how something that happened so long ago, is still so vivid in a person's memory.

Totally agree! I got all shook up just typing my story then as soon as I hit "submit reply" I wanted to take it back because what if Creepy PR Guy somehow found it! Then I calmed down. All this happened about 10 years ago. Bridge/water/etc.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

OOh If we can go back in time - I'll go back and hug teenage Chooch. Poor kid. UGH Kid's are mean!

Ok this one is so embarassing (but not really - but maybe - ok it's stupid to anyone but me) that I have never told anyone - EVER.

Warning: This story is no way near as exciting as the prelude made it out to be.

When I was in 2nd grade I had a teacher who I hated. I was sick a lot that year and I think it was just my way of getting out of her class. When I was forced to go - I would find reasons to go to the nurses office or the bathroom. We had a bathroom at the back of class, just a single toilet jobber, not like a usual public restroom with stalls. I'd go in there, sit on the floor and sing to myself or play with something I'd sneak in, in my pocket. Like those old thumbkin dolls. I'd stay in there until someone knocked to use it next.

One day I came out and two boys ran in and came out with a tape recorder. They had planted it in there to tape some girl going pee. The funny part is I wasn't sure if I was more mortified that they caught me NOT peeing or that they tried to catch me ACTUALLY peeing.

Looking back and reading that - no wonder why the teacher was so mean to me. Sheesh.

[RachWho?]

I'd go in there, sit on the floor and sing to myself or play with something I'd sneak in, in my pocket. Like those old thumbkin dolls.

OMG Tink, that is the CUTEST story, not embarrassing! I can just see you there, stubby little fairy wings not yet quite grown in, singing little songs and playing with your little toys. She must have been a real crap of a teacher!

[Ms. Tumnus]

I vote Minda's post about Herpes in the Wort commercial on TV thread as an embarassing moment :)

A quick story about the herpes commercial - I have it, I don't commercial - a lady I work with just started dating this guy and things were going along great. On their 5th date things looked like they were going to progress when he busts out that he has herpes. When she said she couldn't date him anymore, he used those commercials as an excuse as to why she should still date him!:scared:


I read that wrong...

Guys sounds like a keeper though.


i read that wrong too, and it confused me for a minute.

mr."i base all of my relationship choices off of commercials" sounds like quite the gent.

minda07-too funny, I had to read that over too, I was afraid I may have insulted you! But hey, at least that guy told her before anything happened!

I read it wrong, too. I thought WOW, she's brave!

[minda07]

I am 20 shades of red - this really is moving to the top of the list of embarrising stories:blush: :crying: :ohmy: :huh:

[RachWho?]

What if I start a thread called "MINDA DOES NOT HAVE HERPES?" Would that help? :lol:

[minda07]

Why yes it would! hehehe! YOu know everyone always wants to be the center of attention for just a little bit - This is so not what I had in mind! lol!:lol:

[Clair]

It's okay Minda. [pats back]

Oh! I have another good embarrassing story that might take the pressure off you. Years and years ago I was dating this guy who wanted me to be the perfect girlfriend (Yea, like I could be perfect) and we were on vacation with all his friends and their girlfriends and we went fishing one day. None of the girls wanted to bait a hook so I would bait them for them and (can you see where this is going) after lots of "thank you"s and "you're so nice"s, I announced that I was the Master Baiter. I think the xbf was more embarrassed than I was.

[minda07]

That so helps Clair and thanks for the pat on the back!:lol:

[LonnaSaur]

It's okay Minda. [pats back]

Oh! I have another good embarrassing story that might take the pressure off you. Years and years ago I was dating this guy who wanted me to be the perfect girlfriend (Yea, like I could be perfect) and we were on vacation with all his friends and their girlfriends and we went fishing one day. None of the girls wanted to bait a hook so I would bait them for them and (can you see where this is going) after lots of "thank you"s and "you're so nice"s, I announced that I was the Master Baiter. I think the xbf was more embarrassed than I was.

Way to go! You should change your member name. It's catchy!

:lol:

[LonnaSaur]

I can't stop posting. I love this thread!

First, creepy story.

When I was in college I had a summer job back in my home town. There was a tiny little office I shared with the only other employee--my boss. I was 19 and he was 36. One day I had a really bad migraine but we weren't busy so instead of sending me home (I would have missed out on some of my pay) he said I could go into the upstairs part of the building that housed the office where there was a little apartment and lie down on the couch.

So I did and after awhile I fell asleep.

I sort of started to wake up in a twilight-zone kind of state from disorientation and my prescription meds. I realized that what woke me up was this feeling of subtle but steady movement. I opened my eyes a teeny bit and realized my boss was sitting on the end of the couch, jerking off.

[minda07]

OH MY ROB!!!!!!!!!!!!1:scared:

[TinkerbellAPixie]

OOOOH that reminds me of one (and now I realize I have the most embarassing life)

I was at a bar with some friends after work, we had been chatting it up so long that the live band had come on. We were still trying to carry on a conversation, crazy I know, and were talking about our dream cars. Everyone was talking about wanting the usual sports cars or status cars and when it came to me I said - loudly - to be heard over the music. What I really want is a HUMMER! and of course it was right when the music cut off.

I then was the recipient of a thunderous round of applause and had 4 drinks sent to me, one was from the band. :blush:

[LonnaSaur]

Tink, that's actually not so bad. Free drinks are free drinks, right?

[JulieM]

In the world of open mouth insert foot....I think I have a winner.

In college, my suite-mate sometimes worked as the receptionist in our dorm. One morning news went all over campus that a female student had "accidently" run over her boyfriend. Later we found out that it was the girl that lived directly below us. I come in from a date and see her at the receptionist desk with a girl leaning over the counter talking to her. I ran up to her and drunkingly said, "OMG Tanya, that crazy bitch who ran over her boyfriend lives right below us." Needless to say, said crazy bitch was the one talking to Tanya. I wish the earth would have opened up and swallowed me whole. She really made me miserable for a year with her stares and comments every time she saw me.

I get the last laugh, she was eventually charged with murder.

[JulieM]

OH LONNA and I second the Oh my Rob!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I can't stop posting. I love this thread!

First, creepy story.

OMG that IS a creepy story! Damn girl (and like you I am finding I am addicted to this thread, it's kinda cathartic, tonyagasm will be so proud)

Tink, that's actually not so bad. Free drinks are free drinks, right?

I don't drink - but all my friends were happy to handle that for me. I just wanted to leave I was so mortified.

I get the last laugh, she was eventually charged with murder.

Wow - that's some last laugh. EEK!

[Ms. Tumnus]

OMR Lonna. that's aweful. Did you report him?

One of my good friends was flashed not once, but twice while in seventh grade. Once in a mall and the other time in a park. I don't think she reported him.

I swear, if half the shit that happens to teenaged girls were reported the prison system would be overrun.

[LonnaSaur]

No, I never reported him. But after all these years he was still in the exact same job and my brother--who still lives in our home town--told me about a month ago that he got fired. Guess what for? Sexual harrassment.

[photochild]

I have some bad childhood memories. In third grade I had the worst teacher ever. She was obssessed with outer space (to the point where EVERY subject tied in other planets or astronauts and we would go to the Air & Space museum on a monthly basis) and was not very good with kids. She should have been a high school teacher. Anyway our classroom was in a trailer because they were doing construction on the school. We would make class trips to the bathroom whenever we were in the building, but other than that we didn't go often. This wasn't usually a problem, but one day while we were taking a math test I really had to go. REALLY BAD. And I asked to go and she said no because it was raining really heavily and she couldn't supervise me because of the test. I couldn't concentrate on the test and was freaking out. I ended up going to the bathroom in my pants right in the middle of the classroom. It was utterly humiliating. She was just angry after that and sent me to the nurse.

[LonnaSaur]

I have some bad childhood memories. In third grade I had the worst teacher ever. She was obssessed with outer space (to the point where EVERY subject tied in other planets or astronauts and we would go to the Air & Space museum on a monthly basis) and was not very good with kids. She should have been a high school teacher. Anyway our classroom was in a trailer because they were doing construction on the school. We would make class trips to the bathroom whenever we were in the building, but other than that we didn't go often. This wasn't usually a problem, but one day while we were taking a math test I really had to go. REALLY BAD. And I asked to go and she said no because it was raining really heavily and she couldn't supervise me because of the test. I couldn't concentrate on the test and was freaking out. I ended up going to the bathroom in my pants right in the middle of the classroom. It was utterly humiliating. She was just angry after that and sent me to the nurse.

Oh, that's terrible, PC! I don't think teachers should ever deny students the need to go to the bathroom. It can be cruel and it can be disastrous.

When I was in third grade I was in line at school to get my lunch. For some reason the kids all thought it was cool to be the last person in line--I have no idea why. I was near the back of the line with two or three "mean girls" behind me. I had to pee so bad and I started to leave to go to the bathroom but they blocked my way. I told them I had to go and they said, "You just want to be last in line!" They wouldn't believe me when I said I just really had to go so I tried to hold it. I got my milk, my meal, and then reached the cashier and before I could pay, I peed all over the floor. It was SO embarrassing and then the girls who wouldn't let me go to the bathroom made fun of me. My dad had to come and pick me up and take me home to get a bath and change my clothes. When I came back to school everyone innocently asked me why I was wearing a different outfit but they all knew why and just laughed and laughed at me.

[Karo]

Lonna, your creepy story was seriously creepy. Did the guy know you saw him? Did you quit?

I had a geezer at Church once cop a quick feel of my boobs in the Church basement. I was so shocked that driving home I almost convinced myself it didn't happen. I remember calling my sister asap and saying "I know this happened to me." It gave me a new understanding of women who don't act on these things. It seems so unreal that you're not sure you didn't make it up.

[Karo]

I also would like to say that these childhood trauma stories and making my stomach hurt. I HATE it when people are cruel to children. I think it's because I was picked on a lot when I was a kid. I'm oversensative.

[LonnaSaur]

Lonna, your creepy story was seriously creepy. Did the guy know you saw him? Did you quit?

I had a geezer at Church once cop a quick feel of my boobs in the Church basement. I was so shocked that driving home I almost convinced myself it didn't happen. I remember calling my sister asap and saying "I know this happened to me." It gave me a new understanding of women who don't act on these things. It seems so unreal that you're not sure you didn't make it up.

Karo, I don't think he knew I saw him. I pretended I was still asleep. I didn't quit--strange, isn't it? But I made sure there was never an opportunity for it to happen again.

I know what you mean about not being sure these things happened. It makes me sort of understand battered women who stay with the men who beat them--"he really felt bad and meant it when he said he was sorry," etc.

I am sorry for what happened to you and hope that all the cruelty and creepiness are just distant memories.

To get this thread back to embarrassing moments that are less dark I will share what happened to my fiance once.

We have been together for five years but the first year we were together he was with me at my Mom's house for Thanksgiving. We had been together for about five months then and he knew my family. We had about 12 people including us in the dining room and dinner was over but we were all sitting around the table talking. The dining room leads into a sunken living room with about three steps down into the living room. My fiance got up to cut through the living room to go to the bathroom and he must have forgotten about those steps because he totally missed ALL of them and landed up on the living room floor. His knees made the loudest noise ever when he hit the floor, and everyone saw and heard him fall. The funniest thing is that my Mom has a huge grandfather clock in the living room and when he hit the floor the chimes gave off this incredibly loud, incredibly deep BONG!!!! It was pretty awesome!

:D

[JulieM]

During the middle of third grade, we moved to Kansas. Our new school had these hideous jumpers for all the kids in elementary to wear. It buttoned over each shoulder and then had a gazillion pleasts in it.

Everybody wanted to play with the new girl and we made this huge chain of people to go down the slide. The teacher saw us and blew her whistle to unhook ourselves from each other. I took off down the slide, but the girl behind me was sitting on my dress. RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Now the hole was only about four inches, but because of the massive amount of pleats, it was a huge amount of material....probably 20 inches. I wanted to go home, but the teacher STAPLED it together. I never wanted to go back to school again and was so happy when I made it to 6th grade and got to wear skirts with little shorts under them.

[Pekmboyd]

I was about 12 and my uncle was getting married. I wasn't a very girlie girl so this required a new dress and new shoes. At the reception, I went through the buffet line, and was carrying my plate back to the table, across the empty dance floor, and BAM, I was on my back, plate and food flying. Turns out those new shoes were pretty slippery.

[lennonwhore]

i.m addicted to this thread!

Lonna...that is just creepy and gross...

before the guy i.m with right now become 'my' guy, we would hang out and do that whole awkward 'i.m into you, and you.re into me, but we.re both not saying to the other person we.re into them' thing. so we.re out with some friends celebrating a b-day and drinking. i end up puking in a kroger parking lot all over this guy and screaming that he was trying to kidnap me. they ended up having to throw me into the car and drive off as the cops were pulling up. it was doubly embarrassing b/c this was a guy i REALLY liked, and i was that drunk in public

[chooch850]

This didn't happen to me, but I witnessed it. I was at the laundry-mat washing my comforter in one of their big washers in the back. (it didn't fit in mine) As I watched out the big front windows, I saw a girl approaching the curb, going to the store next door. She had two kids in tow. One was in an umbrella stroller, the other holding her hand. As she got to the curb, the stroller caught on something and the toddler spilled out onto the sidewalk. This girl was wearing a Tube top which immediately rolled up, exposing her boobs as she grabbed for the baby. She was trying to pull it down and catch the baby at the same time. She gave up on the top and picked up her child, checking for injuries, then pulled her top down. She looked around to see who was watching and turned around and left.

I bet she never wore a tube top again.:thumbdown:

[Ms. Tumnus]

That reminds me of a story my coworker has shared a few times. She's a rather large woman (OK, she's obese) but she's comfortable with her body, and she dresses really well.

When she was in her 20s, she still wore tube tops, and one day she was running for the bus and managed to catch it, but while she was running, her tube top had slid down and a boob had popped out....but she hadn't noticed. The driver had to tell her and she had to tuck it in, in front of everyone on the bus. Nice.

[chooch850]

Who came up with the tube top??? Do girls still wear them in the summer?

[campfiregirl]

Okay here is one of mine........


Many years ago, probably 14, a coworker of my hubby and a really nice guy needed someone to go to a dinner. His cousin was opening up a new restaurant and this was a practice night. It was a chi chi poo poo place. Hubby says take my wife, no problem. I was soo excited, a place with real silverware and plates!!!

The food was superb, place was gorgeous, had a lovely time. I had a glass or two of wine and ate everything they served me. Stuffed to the gills. Then we leave and as soon as I got outside, my stomach turns. I projectile vomit the whole meal in the parking lot.:blushing:

Turns out I was 6 weeks pregnant.

[chooch850]

Really, that's sweet. At least it wasn't food poisoning or the flu or just too much to drink.

[campfiregirl]

I didn't know that til a week later. So I was in shock cause I had never felt like that before. I already had two kids at home, and never did get much morning sickness. But if I got too full, I could not eat even one more bite.

Still that parking lot looked awful:crying:
Poor people just wanted to open a great restaurant. I have no idea if it worked.

[iamalittleexplosion]

when i began reading this thread i was thinking "wow. i can't think of a single time i've ever been embarrassed." by page five i could feel my cheeks reddening as i began to recall humiliation after humiliation. now my head is full of all the stupid things i've done. might as well share...

photochild, i too peed my pants at school. i was in the second grade. my teacher was busy with other students. reading group. i raised my hand but she never called on anyone who wasn't in group. i held it up so long it went numb. nothing. i couldn't say anything. i was too afraid of getting into trouble. i don't know how long i sat there. felt like years. finally relief as i unleashed a mighty torrent of urine all over the floor.

i threw notebook paper over it, trying to disguise the enormous puddle. it was all in vain of course. it wasn't long before the girl sitting next to me noticed and squealed "ew! elizabeth peed on the floor!"

my response? lie. lie, lie, lie.

the teacher asked if i had an accident, as if it weren't glaringly obvious. i was wearing a skirt, so there was no visible wet spot. i told her i had no idea what this mysterious liquid was. funny thing, she just said okay.

she let me clean up the mess with some paper towels then took us to the bathroom. a little too late for me, i know.

i spent the rest of the day in damp underpants and in complete denial.

[Ms. Tumnus]

Who came up with the tube top??? Do girls still wear them in the summer?

guilty...but the long, quality kind that don't fall off at the drop of a hat...or bag...or child.

[chooch850]

OMR... did we all pee our pants in grade school? I did too... in 1st grade. We were all in a circle playing "Farmer in the Dell". I really had to go but didn't have the nerve to disrupt the game. I didn't want to be the cheese either. We went round and round and when we stopped I got a shiver and there it went, right down my leg. I was wearing a dress so there was no outside evidence either. We went back around a few times and I thought my secret was safe. Lo and behold, the circle stopped and there I was. standing in my own puddle. I was sent to the nurse who gave me undies and put mine in a bag. I stuck it in my desk and didn't take it home. My desk smelled to high heaven after a week and the teacher dumped it out on the floor, but that's another story.

[campfiregirl]

oh poor chooch, the girl with the stinky desk.:D

[Jinger]

So...this morning I needed to take out the trash and the way my condo complex is set up the dumpster happens to be way at the end of the lot so typically I put the bag of garbage on top of my car and as I am driving out I will stop and dump it.

Well, I forgot to stop and dump it.

I dropped my daughter at school. I stopped for gas and coffee. I suddenly was struck with the memory of putting the trash on top of my car but could not recall putting it in the dumpster. I headed back toward home thinking it was just sitting in the lot somewhere.

Oh, if only....

As I approach the homestead I see all of my garbage stewn across 4 lanes of road. ALL OF IT. I am mortified!!!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

OH no Jinger - that's terrible!

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Hi all! Now that I'm officially addicted to TVgasm, and the FORUM - I'll share my all time embarrassing moment.

10th Grade, 1982 Chemistry Class.

Our class was set up with risers that spanned the entire room and went about 6 levels, and they were covered with this sort of felt-like substance. And me, HATING chemistry always made sure to sit as far back, and as far up as possible - which plays an important role here.

I am thinking I am like, totally cool, in my above the knee, full-on bell skirt; off the shoulder t-shirt; and most importantly my bright red, RUBBER pumps. COMPLETELY RUBBER.

I get called down to the chalkboard, and it turns out rubber and felt-like carpets STICK to each other.

So cut to 15 seconds later, after I have literally rolled at least 3 complete revolutions down the ENTIRE set of risers to land on my hands and knees (ass FACING the class) with BOTH the t-shirt and skirt over my head. In front of the entire class.

Oh, and did I mention I was wearing a matching hot-pink, leopard-print bra and panties?

Yeah, that was still referenced in my senior yearbook, two years later. And was brought up a few years ago at my class reunion.

And yes, I STILL wanted to die!:o

[JulieM]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwww

I just want to hug everybody over their embarrassing moments

[minda07]

Jinger - I have also driven away without putting the trash in the dumpster - only I got to my destination with it still on my roof!

Cheez - I loved all the details - It was a great visual - not so great for you though.

This weekend was my cousins son's birthday party. I was bringing all the presents because my mom was coming from work and didn't want to leave them in her car all day. On top of that I stopped by the scrapbooking ladies house to pick up my cousins order so she didn't have to run out to get it. I arrive at my cousins house and decide that the five presents and bag-o-crap of scrapbooking stuff and my purse could all be carried in at the same time. No need for two trips here. I get everything in my hands and get 1/2 way to the door when my foot rolls off of the driveway and the presents all go flying. The bag and purse that were on my arm stay there but I go crashing to the ground hard. I look like someone beat me up. my knee is the good kind of bruise that turned green right away, my hand and chin have huge scrapes on them and my forehead has a normal bruise on it! Geesh I have got to learn how to walk!

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Jinger, that visual just cracked me up! I've actually done that with (small) bags of groceries, and even my purse! I know it's embarassing, but we all do it sooner or later! LOL!

minda, that sounds painful! I've done stuff like that, and I just lay on the ground stunned, and make whimpering noises! You're a trooper!

[photochild]

So I don't know why I'm as clumsy as I am. I choose to think it's my build, I'm not evenly proportioned all around...of course I could have an inner ear problem, but that just sounds gross. So I blame the boobs. Anyway, this weekend was was me falling all over the place. I tripped on some stairs in the new building (ok, there were 2 of them to get up to the elevator, but I miscalculated how tall they were). I walked around with paint stains on both boobs for a day (I'm not obsessed with them, they're a fact of life) because when I was painting they kept hitting the wall and I didn't realize it. I palmed the wet freshly painted walls a couple times. I dropped a slice of pizza off the balcony. I fell on my face twice. I walked into the old house and the freshly cleaned floors made the rug go sliding and I landed on my ass after sliding 3 feet.

But I didn't do the worst of all. While we were moving my TV got dropped. On cement. I freaked. I didn't care that my bed frame got out of wack, I was so scared the TV broke. But it's ok. It works, I watched movies on it (no cable yet, that's tonight). Anyway, this isn't really embarassing stuff, just a sneak into why I end up with s omany embarassing moments.

[zoobabe]

Thank Rob your TV is alright! I once dropped a brand new window AC unit out of my 2nd story bedroom window b/c I thought I was strong enough to install it myself. Damn thing weighed about 100 lbs. and it was also not evenly weighted. I did carry it into the house all by myself and into the bedroom, but the grates on the side cut my hands up and after I dropped it I was about to start bawling with my bleeding hands thinking I had broken it and I had JUST BOUGHT IT! Thank goodness that my neighbor's son was visiting. He heard the crash and came running over and helped me put it back up. It had a little dent in the side, but he said those things can take a lot of damage so I shouldn't worry about it being broken, and that took the tears away.:crying:

[ScotyUtah]

I once threw a tv out of the 10th floor of a dorm at George Mason. Of course I looked around down below before the toss and nobody appeared to be too close... except for the campus security guy standing just outside the lobby entrance and out of my view...

[Quidam]

So driving home and I call the kiddo at home. After our conversation I hit what I thought was end and turned the music back up. After a couple of minutes the cell rings again and the kiddo is laughing like a little hyena. :lol:

“Mom you didn’t turn your phone off and I hung up but went to use the phone again and we were still connected. All I could hear was Whoa-oh-ohh, Whoa-oh-ohh, Oh-ohh…Whoa-oh-ohh, Whoa-oh-ohh, Oh-ohh. It was so funny!”

Like I told her, “At least you caught me at a part were I knew the lyrics!” :blush:

[minda07]

Quidam - I have a friend that does this all the time - he has never learned - not only do you get him singing, if he has someone in the car, he usually starts to talk about ya - not in a bad way, but talks about you none the less

[LonnaSaur]

I was passionately smooching a pillow I was pretending was Captain Kirk (I know, I know!) when I was about 10 and my mother walked into the room.

It still embarrasses me a little and I keep hoping she has forgotten it. But if I ask her if she remembers, that sort of defeats the whole purpose of forgetting, doesn't it?

[chooch850]

I was passionately smooching a pillow I was pretending was Captain Kirk (I know, I know!) when I was about 10 and my mother walked into the room.

It still embarrasses me a little and I keep hoping she has forgotten it. But if I ask her if she remembers, that sort of defeats the whole purpose of forgetting, doesn't it?

I still grab my pillow and kiss it pretending it's Captain Kirk, but now he's Denny Crane. :wub:

[LonnaSaur]

I still grab my pillow and kiss it pretending it's Captain Kirk, but now he's Denny Crane. :wub:

There's nothing wrong with that! I'm into Alan Shore these days . . .

My 80's love for bad boy James Spader was rekindled by the movie "Secretary." I'd take a spanking from him any day.

[Clair]

It still embarrasses me a little and I keep hoping she has forgotten it. But if I ask her if she remembers, that sort of defeats the whole purpose of forgetting, doesn't it?

Speaking as a parent, my guess is that she has forgotten about it. I don't remember half the things my kids reminisce about. "Remember when I got stung by a bee?" No. "Remember when I got bit by that dog?" No. "Remember when I wasn't watching where I was going and I fell into grandpa's pool?" No.

[flipit]

this is a reminder of how sick and embarrassing you moms can be. this childhood friend found me on myspace and this is our conversation. we were talking about a nude beach in austin. as with all myspace convos, start at the bottom.



:eek:
no I didn't really see it, just saw your butt one day when your mom was showing it to my mom. I shit you not, we were all in my bedroom. Twisted right? hahaha


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: flipit
Date: Mar 31, 2007 6:31 PM



you saw my peepee? i am kinda mortified.
LOVE
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: What?!
Date: Mar 31, 2007 12:32 PM



I don't need to go to Hippie Hollow to see your peepee, I think I already saw it when we were like 7 or something. :)

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: flipit
Date: Mar 31, 2007 5:23 AM

[jampony]

no I didn't really see it, just saw your butt one day when your mom was showing it to my mom. I shit you not, we were all in my bedroom. Twisted right? hahaha
What was so special about your peepee that made your mom want to show it off? Is it purple? Does it have eyes? Can it do tricks? Can I have your mom's email address?

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

That's pretty funny flipit! LOL!

I'm with jampony, what gives about your peepee? Can we get pictures, with you holding a copy of today's paper, just to make sure it's yours? Ha ha ha... :D

Also, I'm really curious about Hippie Hollow. Was it like a special place for buck-toothed, inbred hippies from the Appalachian Mountains? :lol: Just jokin'...

[TinkerbellAPixie]

From: flipit
Date: Mar 31, 2007 6:31 PM

you saw my peepee? i am kinda mortified.
LOVE

I think it's so cute that even tho you were mortified you still remembered to end with "LOVE".

What was so special about your peepee that made your mom want to show it off? Is it purple? Does it have eyes? Can it do tricks? Can I have your mom's email address?

LMAO Jamp - girl! you crack me up!
(if youget the email addy shoot it my way too - m'kay?)

[flipit]

LOL you guys. i don't know! i haven't asked her what the hell she thought was so hilarious about it, but as a kid she always called me rondondoolie, which mixes my first name with the lebanese name for penis. what the hell?

my mom is a pure sicko.

and i would post her email here, but i think she's already done enough damage. i don't wanna make her mad and give her access to my friends!!!:w00t:

[Quidam]

You obviously get your great humor from Mommy! :thumbup:

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Rondondoolie? I'm tempted to change my posting name to that! It kind of... flooowws off the tongue! Hee hee...:D

So funny!

[chooch850]

A friend of mine's daughter had a baby Saturday, so I went yesterday to see her and her new baby girl. Thank the lord I went when I did, 'cuz they were getting ready to go home. Little Wendy was beautiful. While her daddy was packing things up, her new aunt came in (daddy's sister). I knew auntie was pregnant at the same time as Wendy's mom, so I asked her when she as due. I'm sure you've guessed.... she hurtfully told me she she had a boy 6 weeks ago and left the room. I was at a loss for words. It was awful.:ohmy:

[Quidam]

Oh dear Chooch, I'm sure she will be over it soon, some loose the baby weight quicker than others. At least she had recently had a baby and it wasn't just weight gain. :sad:

['tonyagasm']

Today I laughed when someone said that they're dog was RAPED (WTF?!?) and killed and then everyone stared at me.
But still who RAPES a dog!!!...?

[lennonwhore]

Today I laughed when someone said that they're dog was RAPED (WTF?!?) and killed and then everyone stared at me.
But still who RAPES a dog!!!...?

a sick, depraved individual...how did they know the dog was raped?

[t-bag]

I think we can all agree my rape joke was funny because it was about raping humans. But raping a dog? Not funny.

[angiemarie]

Today I laughed when someone said that they're dog was RAPED (WTF?!?) and killed and then everyone stared at me.
But still who RAPES a dog!!!...?

I'm conflicted about this post. On the one hand I want to scold you for laughing about an animal being mistreated. On the other hand I think it's kind of sweet that you didn't know people have sex with animals against their will. You obviously don't read the Insult T-bag thread.


I think we can all agree my rape joke was funny because it was about raping humans. But raping a dog? Not funny.

It's been a week already, let it go.

[Pekmboyd]

A friend of mine's daughter had a baby Saturday, so I went yesterday to see her and her new baby girl. Thank the lord I went when I did, 'cuz they were getting ready to go home. Little Wendy was beautiful. While her daddy was packing things up, her new aunt came in (daddy's sister). I knew auntie was pregnant at the same time as Wendy's mom, so I asked her when she as due. I'm sure you've guessed.... she hurtfully told me she she had a boy 6 weeks ago and left the room. I was at a loss for words. It was awful.:ohmy:

Chooch - chalk it up to post partum hormones - there's nothing wrong with not losing the baby weight only 6 WEEKS afterward, and it was nice of you to remember and ask about her. I'm 8 MONTHS post partum and just getting around to losing some of it.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

But still who RAPES a dog!!!...?

Sometimes other dogs do the raping. My friend in high school called me frantic one day - she was home alone, and had let her dog out, it was a little Benji type dog.

Some random stray (much bigger) dog had come up and mounted her dog. Her dog was wailing miserably and my friend didn't know what to do. The bigger dog would snarl at my friend everytime she went near. She thought they might be stuck.

She finally went and got the hose and used that to chase the bigger dog away. The whole time her poor dog was just yelping. It was terrible.

Fortunately - no litter ever came of it - but we were all worried that if it did - it might really mess her up cuz she really was a little thing.

[t-bag]

It's been a week already, let it go.

It will never not be funny.

On a related note, I was laying on the floor today, and Apollo came up and started raping my face. It was horrible.

[giffordsaz]

There is just no reply for this except to say you are very young and I hope this situation never affects you the way it has affected others who have had to deal with it.

[zoobabe]

male orangutans will rape females (seriously). I've seen it happen and it is eerily human-like so I just turn my head b/c I don't want to look. Usually it happens when the male is stressed.

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

I actually saw a male orangutan do that to another female at the Toronto Zoo, and it was so upsetting I was actually almost in tears. The female's reaction was so human it broke my heart, I went back before I left to see if she was still upset,and she was just sitting off by herself rocking and holding her head.

It was really shocking to witness, especially because I'm a "civilian", and didn't realize how emotionally charged primate interaction could be. I'll never forget it, and still think about it when I go to the zoo now.

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

I'm actually one of those who has been personally affected by rape, and while I wasn't really offended by T-Bag's reference to it last week I did find it to be in fairly bad taste.

T-Bag, I don't think you meant it offensively and I certainly don't think you meant to hurt anyone here by making that statement. Please just consider for a moment, if you will, that many people who have been personally impacted by a rape scenario, whether it was them personally or someone they cared about, find it a painful subject in any context.

Rape devastates you from the inside out, and the effects of it change how you look at human beings forever. You can be a decade away from it, and almost never really think about it, until a certain scent or sound triggers a memory so powerful that you are instantly transported back to a moment in time when you were utterly helpless and your life was in the hands of stranger who thought of you as nothing more than an object to destroy and defile. Your heart stops, and you have to actually slow your mind down to an intellectual level, because your instinctual impulses are forever altered - and all you want to do is climb out of your own skin.

Rape doesn't just affect the victim either, it destroys relationships, it impacts your family and it ultimately weakens us as a civilized society.

The context in which your joke was made didn't damage or hurt me, and I don't think any less of your intelligence and wit -I think you actually seem like a pretty nice guy. I also think because you are held in such regard and esteem here, that people are a little shocked and disappointed that you are unwilling to consider displaying some sensitivity about a subject that has so clearly upset the women on this board

The fact is you don't really know if any of us, or our (collective) families have been impacted by this issue. I think if this were a face to face environment, and you knew that you hurt people with that statement, you would have apologized immediately - and the whole thing would have been dropped.

Before I get off of my soapbox, I would also like to add that this is not an issue that only impacts women - men can also be sexually victimized, and the effects of that are at least, and possibly more devastating in some respects, than to women. Men rarley admit to it, and even if they do resources for dealing with it are almost non-existent.

OK -Thanks for considering my viewpoint. I say we put this issue to rest, and consider it a lesson learned. Sound OK T-Bag? Peace.

['tonyagasm']

a sick, depraved individual...how did they know the dog was raped?
I'm just going to take the look everyone gave me and say it happened.

She did say it was by a person too. Not another dog. Isn't this how STD's started? Some guy decided to have sex with a mokey or something and he got them? I know a guy who walks around going kill the impures. (STD havers)

[zoobabe]

She did say it was by a person too. Not another dog. Isn't this how STD's started? Some guy decided to have sex with a mokey or something and he got them? I know a guy who walks around going kill the impures. (STD havers)

no tgasm- although sex with a monkey would be sufficiently gross enough for me to WISH an STD on anyone who did it, viruses (STD's) like AIDS that started in monkeys were spread b/c people were EATING their meat. The bushmeat crisis in Africa is so rampant that there are whole organizations trying to educate people as to why it's important to save the primates and provide alternative sources of meat so that the disease does not spread further. Of course- even w/out this- now any primate could spread a disease to a human through any exchange of body fluid (bite, scratch, throwing poo)- which is why it's NOT a good idea to get one as a pet.

[smanthaharrisfor pres]

OK, here goes with an embarrassing story . . . it was back in 1988 and I was a senior in college. Rememebr the 'gyroscope' things that were at all the fairs? Like a giant ball you stood in and then it just started rolling and spinning and you were going upsidedown, sideways, all of this to whatever Motley Crue or Van Halen song was playing. Well, it had been a long day and a friend of mine and I stumbled upon this 'ride' so he shelled out the 2 or 3 dollars and got in, it played one song, he was 4 shades of blue when he was done, yet for some reason, I thought I'd get on.

So, I shell out whatever it cost back the and they strap me into this harness device and I start spinning and going upside down all this fun stuff . . now, there was a line of about 10 when I got on, but now there are about 30 - 40 gathered around. Then the second song started . . about half way through it I am ready to just puke everywhere. I yell for the operator to stop, and as he slows it down I hear booing.

Oh, before I forget, this was at Indiana Beach, we had been on water rides all day and I had my swimtrunks on.

I stumble out, and don't think anything about it, get over to my friend and grabbed a drink. He looks at me and smiles and says "So, did you realize Mr. Happy was hanging out?''

[t-bag]

Cheez, thank you for your rational, well-said post about this whole joke-blown-out-of-proportion. It was very much appreciated after the slew of, "Did you say the word 'rape'? How horrible!" comments.

The thing is, I didn't apologize for what I said, because I know I didn't actually say anything horrible. Had I said something like "I think rape is funny" or called someone a nappy-headed ho, of course I would have apologized if anyone was offended. I did say I was sorry that it was taken in an offensive way, but I really felt like I shouldn't apologize for saying it, since I knew that it wasn't meant in the way in which it was twisted by people. And you're right about me being hilarious and witty, but you're wrong about the fact that I would apologize in real life if someone reacted the way people reacted on the forii. In high school, I refused to apologize to anyone for singing a song called, "A Kick In The Cunt" during a Forensics competition. I knew there was no reason to apologize, since everyone in the audience was over 18, and the only person who had a problem with it was my Forensics coach, who not only hadn't heard the song, but somehow had managed to deduce that I said "cunt" 110 times (it was only eight). The matter was resolved when she got the scores back and saw I had won the round. But more on topic, if people have been personally affected by rape, and the fact that a man said "rape" in a light-hearted sentence gave them an outlet to take out their hate/frustration/etc, then they went right ahead with the accusations, and I made no effort to stop them.

I hate to play this card, but perhaps this will put this whole damn thing to rest: I dated a girl who was raped. While we were dating. Not by me, obviously. So I know what it's like, at least for those who are close to a victim. But if someone makes a joke about rape that's actually funny, I'll laugh. Same as I'll laugh about jokes about the Holocaust or about Abu Ghraib. In fact, she and I still talk, and recently she made a joke about how guys like to have sex with her, but are too busy to bother with the "asking permission bullshit". Of course, maybe she only feels comfortable saying stuff like that because she got the douchebag put away.

Anyway, your response was very much appreciated, Cheez, and makes me think even higher of you (except for that obvious lie about people holding me in high esteem). I think the people that were offended have decided to just pretend I don't exist, so all's well that ends uncomfortably.

[t-bag]

Also, Sam, between that one wild night in chat where you talked about The Night Sam Wrestled A Bear And Got Divorced and that story up there, you're pretty awesome.

[jampony]

OK, here goes with an embarrassing story . . . it was back in 1988 and I was a senior in college. Rememebr the 'gyroscope' things that were at all the fairs? Like a giant ball you stood in and then it just started rolling and spinning and you were going upsidedown, sideways, all of this to whatever Motley Crue or Van Halen song was playing. Well, it had been a long day and a friend of mine and I stumbled upon this 'ride' so he shelled out the 2 or 3 dollars and got in, it played one song, he was 4 shades of blue when he was done, yet for some reason, I thought I'd get on.

So, I shell out whatever it cost back the and they strap me into this harness device and I start spinning and going upside down all this fun stuff . . now, there was a line of about 10 when I got on, but now there are about 30 - 40 gathered around. Then the second song started . . about half way through it I am ready to just puke everywhere. I yell for the operator to stop, and as he slows it down I hear booing.

Oh, before I forget, this was at Indiana Beach, we had been on water rides all day and I had my swimtrunks on.

I stumble out, and don't think anything about it, get over to my friend and grabbed a drink. He looks at me and smiles and says "So, did you realize Mr. Happy was hanging out?''

OMG!!! That was you!?!

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Thanks T-Bag. :)

I would have liked to have been in the audience for that song BTW! Now THAT sounds damned funny! :lol:

[Quidam]

And therein lies the problem. When words, hateful, derogatory, demeaning, repulsive words get used in everyday jokes, conversations, user names they become desensitized…sorta! They are still hateful, etc., words that one person or a group of people decide it’s cool for them to use, while no other is allowed. When they become common everyday usages and some guy named Imus slips and forgets he is on a radio show and not sitting in the comfort of his own home yakking it up with his buds that everyone feels and sees the damage. Similarly with T and his group thinking the C song was funny and the professor didn’t. I would challenge T to sing that song to his mother, dollars to donuts she doesn’t find it the least bit funny, cute or endearing.

In general boring and immature people like to shock others in attire, makeup, language, to get noticed. Although I don’t believe that was T’s original intent, I believe it has turned to that each time he has decided to use it after being asked to let it go. I don’t recall seeing anyone ask T to apologize, he was however, asked to cease and desist, and originally asked civilly. Now it’s seems to have become a game to T to use like the race card.

That’s just my opinion and if you want to take shots at me now T and call me the C or B or to F off, I can’t stop you, and you can hide in the e-world, but so you know if someone ever called me the C to my face I wouldn’t hesitate to slap that word right out of their head, and you never know how someone will react to such things, that’s how repulsive some words are to others.

[photochild]

OMG. I've tried to stay quiet through all of this, but not anymore. First, the bagster was replying to Cheez, he was not trying to rehash anything. Second, YOU are all the ones complaining about being censored for putting wet naked men up on the site. By the way, only TWO pictures have ever been deleted. I hate to say it, but double standards. It's ridiculous, half the time you guys are talking about how we shouldn't be censored on the internet and then bagster says something, which might not have been the classiest thing to say, but was in no means meant to offend anyone and he gets attacked. Everyone has different senses of humor, some people are more offended by things than others, but why should we hold our tongue all the time in fear that someone might get offended? Is not the purpose of this site the freedom to speak our mind on things (whether it be TV or real life or pop culture) with a sarcastic twang to things? I appreciate this site because I get it all, there are real compassionate people here that I truly care a lot about and you are funny people, most of you at least. And I realize I'm not easily offended by things, and others are more sensitive, but if I find a thread that may offend me I leave it and go to the next. I've never felt anyone here had a cruel way to them, I never felt threatened or bullied.

Also, from what I've heard, I don't think bagster's mom would be offended. It's how his family is, and I love them for that because it's made him how he is. We don't all like each other here, and I'll be the first to say there are people I don't like too much around here, but I manage to get along with them around without ever attacking them. I could do that, if that is the turn people would like to take, but I'd prefer not.

I apologize if this is a bit "rambly" as I didn't go back to edit my schpiel.

[chooch850]

I wish I'd never said those three little words....

[Quidam]

OMG. I've tried to stay quiet through all of this, but not anymore. First, the bagster was replying to Cheez, he was not trying to rehash anything.
And as long as this is an open forum anyone can respond or comment to anyone else.
Second, YOU are all the ones complaining about being censored for putting wet naked men up on the site.
That's where self-censorship would apply, if people don't self-censor themselves then someone else will and NO ONE wants that.
By the way, only TWO pictures have ever been deleted. I hate to say it, but double standards. It's ridiculous, half the time you guys are talking about how we shouldn't be censored on the internet and then bagster says something, which might not have been the classiest thing to say, but was in no means meant to offend anyone and he gets attacked.
Like I said, he was originally asked to stop and decided to continue to use it to "attack" others in different threads.
Everyone has different senses of humor, some people are more offended by things than others, but why should we hold our tongue all the time in fear that someone might get offended? Is not the purpose of this site the freedom to speak our mind on things (whether it be TV or real life or pop culture) with a sarcastic twang to things?
Yes and that is what I was doing, as were others, albeit positive or negative.
I appreciate this site because I get it all, there are real compassionate people here that I truly care a lot about and you are funny people, most of you at least. And I realize I'm not easily offended by things, and others are more sensitive, but if I find a thread that may offend me I leave it and go to the next. I've never felt anyone here had a cruel way to them, I never felt threatened or bullied.

Also, from what I've heard, I don't think bagster's mom would be offended. It's how his family is, and I love them for that because it's made him how he is.
I cannot speak for his family and didn't, it was a challenge, and if his mom is cool with that language then so be it
We don't all like each other here, and I'll be the first to say there are people I don't like too much around here, but I manage to get along with them around without ever attacking them. I could do that, if that is the turn people would like to take, but I'd prefer not.

I apologize if this is a bit "rambly" as I didn't go back to edit my schpiel.

I don't feel I was attacking T at all PC, but that's my interpretation and obviously not yours, and probably not T's either. My point to make was words can be AND are used and abused… “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. But one thing for sure, words will always communicate who you are.”

[t-bag]

Oh, for fuck's sake, Q. You want to talk about "boring and immature"? Maybe I should just start posting worthless pictures I googled in response to anything anyone says.

And I really don't think you've ever met my mother, have you? But apparently you're the expert on her. If you must know, my mom said she doesn't like the word either, but she was on my side 100%, because she understood exactly what wasn't wrong with it. So please lay the fuck off my family.

Ugh. I could spend my time crafting a response all about free speech and the fact that people like you give power to these stupid words, but what's the fucking point? All you'll get out of it is that I said the word "cunt" again, and I'll get another post telling me that my mom and dad were horrible parents and raised a little monster.

So fuck it. I'm done with TVgasm. What's great about the other site is that all the fun people from here went there, so if I leave, it's not like I'm missing out on anything. So we get all the cool people without Quidam! So goodbye, TVgasm. You know where to find me.

And even though it's childish: cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt cunt. Neener neener.

[JulieM]

I'm so blessed that I missed all this.

[Quidam]

Apparently I struck a nerve. Wasn't trying to run you off.

Insert worthless pix here...

[chooch850]

ok...ok... this started out between me and T. Now I, of all people, must come to his defense. You ladies have been noble and forthright in your stand on rape. Of course, it's a horrible thing to happen to anyone. That is not the debate. I was pissed at him, thinking his remark was not something, maybe PC wanted to hear, so I made the remark I did. I didn't know they were close friends until after the fact. I thought I made that point clear to him, but he got defensive and personally shot back at me. I got pissed and basically told him to go to hell. Done and over. I moved on. By then, everyone was after him. So, apparently, he's been fighting you guys off ever since. As far as I'm concerned, he can say rape anyway he wants, whenever he wants, as many times as he wants. Once I knew PC was ok with it, I was done, and so should everyone else. T-Bag knows he can get a rise out of some one if he uses rape in a comment and he's right. Someone jumps on him. I think he's writing his thesis on the subject and is using all of this as research. Doesn't really matter. Once PC said it was ok and not offensive to her, it should have ended. Let's end it now.... ok??? T-Bag, say rape all you want, shout it from the roof tops, start a rape thread, change your username to T-Rape.... I don't give a shit. But, if you personally slam me, I'll slam back. I'm a cunt like that. I know you gotta have the last word, and I'm looking forward to reading it. I love you T-bag and I really do think you're funny SOME of the time.

[chooch850]

aww geez ..... I didn't realize T-Bag turned in his resignation to TVGASM while I was writing my reply. Ladies, we don't want him to leave do we??? C'mon... give the kid a break. Let's try and get him back. We can't lose the male point of view, we don't have much of it around here.

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

T-Bag,

I hope you reconsider your stance on leaving TVgasm, I think you add a great deal to this site. I like your humor and your intelligence; and I think there's room for TVgasm to accomodate a little diversity regarding personal thoughts. Please don't let one or two opinions color your entire experience with us as a collective group. I agree with everything photochild said, and I would hate to have been the catalyst post (or in fact played ANY part in something), that created an inability for the two of you to "pal around" here.

I apologize to everyone involved in this if I have added to any negative impact surrounding this issue. I only wanted to present a personal point of view; and I do also strongly believe that T-Bag has a right to his opinion, whether I agree with it or not. I honestly don't take this stuff personally, unless it's specifically directed at me - and then quite frankly, I would be most inclined to ignore it. If ya don't like me, ya don't like me - as long as I don't have to feed you or fuck you, I'll live.

Also, not ALL the cool people have left for TOS :D - and a lot of cool people seem to have found a good balance between the two sites. I'm actually not really very familiar with TOS, because this is my first blogging experience, and I've made some wonderful friends here - so I'm here because I'm a blog-virgin and TVgasm is my first ever, and true blog-lover! ;)

I agree with chooch as well, this whole thing has gotten blown WAY out of proportion - I vote we all agree to disagree (whatever our feelings dictate), and move on.

[giffordsaz]

aww geez ..... I didn't realize T-Bag turned in his resignation to TVGASM while I was writing my reply. Ladies, we don't want him to leave do we??? C'mon... give the kid a break. Let's try and get him back. We can't lose the male point of view, we don't have much of it around here.

Are we sure he is male, because I remember T-bag in a dress....., and she/he looked pretty good in it too..... And he/she had a muff too.....

[supermarketgirl]

seriously? it's the internet.

[flipit]

this was some fantastic work, people. i started on page thirteen and am still amazed at how we went from dog rape to orangutan (sp?) rape to tbag rape to quidam slams and resignations and chooch calling herself a cunt.

priceless. i love it here.

[Pegster]

this was some fantastic work, people. i started on page thirteen and am still amazed at how we went from dog rape to orangutan (sp?) rape to tbag rape to quidam slams and resignations and chooch calling herself a cunt.

priceless. i love it here.

Well, yeah, except for the t-bag getting run off thing; but I went into that on another thread, so I won't get into it again.

[flipit]

sometimes free speech means getting told you are an a hole and to shut up. hopefully the bagster will see that and continue to crack our asses up. you can only be run off if you run.

deeeep.

[giffordsaz]

Flipit went deep... imagine that!!
(love you like a bro baby)
I too think T-bag will return... after he is done lurking... pouting... understanding... He will come back with a bang... I have no doubt. Not like a trench coat kinda thing, like a funnier than ever kind of thing.

[Ellsbells]

seriously? it's the internet.
It may be the internet, but that doesn't mean that people's feelings aren't real...:hammer:
Now can we get back to the topic of this thread? That would be great, thanks...

[angiemarie]

sometimes free speech means getting told you are an a hole and to shut up. hopefully the bagster will see that and continue to crack our asses up. you can only be run off if you run.

deeeep.

Thank god you are still around, Flipit. I was afraid we had run you off and you hadn't bothered to tell us. We've been scaring away more men than a hooker with open sores.

[flipit]

NEVER!!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS

oh yeah, and i am feeling embarrassed that i was just in starbucks for forty five minutes not realizing my love handles and butt crack were showing. happy ells?

[Ellsbells]

NEVER!!!!

I LOVE YOU GUYS

oh yeah, and i am feeling embarrassed that i was just in starbucks for forty five minutes not realizing my love handles and butt crack were showing. happy ells?

Yes thank you very much.
Now I can't get that vision out of my head...:tongue:

[chooch850]

I luv love handles and butt cracks...... I think they're sexy.....:wub:
.......and the smell of swamp ass makes me HOT.:w00t:

[giffordsaz]

chooch, the crack and handles I get... but (hehe butt) the swamp ass..... even after a bout of diarria.... man --- mens arses can make your eyes water.... I draw the line at swamp arse... I really reallly do.
When is the last time you had to smell one...
OMgoodness... that is bad --bad--badd... Chooch!

[dr.birdie]

OK, its a golf story, but bear with me.

I was at Myrtle Beach on one of those 110 degree days with 99.9% humidity. Since it was hot, I wore tan shrts and a light colored top (may have been pink, but I don't want to get that whole confusion thing going again). Anyways , sweat is just pouring off of me and I was taking my shirt and wiping my forehead with and tucking back into my pants . . do you see a problem with this idea? I didn't . . . until we got to the 19th hole and all the women around the bar were laughing. (and it wasn't at my pink shirt, I look great in pink when I have a tan)

['tonyagasm']

Ok here's what happened,

I was at main event with 2 buds and we did the laser tag thing. While we were waiting there was this guy that was like 50 doing the dance thing called like dance dance revolution. He looked ridicoulous and was doing some dance after dancing on the game thing. And he walks up and gets in line for laser tag. When we get in there are only 8 people so they make us 4 teams of 2. My buds betray me and run off laughing at me. The 2 sets of 2 other people are there together. So I get stuck with nerd man. He's talking and I have no idea wtf he's saying because of the way he talked and his lingo or whatever. So he apparently is a master of this laser tag game and makes me do what he tells me. We get in there and I was having fun following some girl shooting her and he fucking screams for me to back him up or I dont know what he said. By this time I am completely pissed of by the way he's telling me what to do when im trying to have fun. Long story short I unconsciously take him aside and tell him to go shove his nerd laser up his nerd ass and shoot him a few times. I am realising what I just said and apologize and he just walks out of the thing and I'm embarrassed for him and me.

Someone scold me please!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I'm happy to oblige.

Tsk tsk tsk tony - shame on you for being mean to the strange dancing nerd man.

But great to have you back buddy - been missing you.

[Pegster]

Ok here's what happened,

I was at main event with 2 buds and we did the laser tag thing. While we were waiting there was this guy that was like 50 doing the dance thing called like dance dance revolution. He looked ridicoulous and was doing some dance after dancing on the game thing. And he walks up and gets in line for laser tag. When we get in there are only 8 people so they make us 4 teams of 2. My buds betray me and run off laughing at me. The 2 sets of 2 other people are there together. So I get stuck with nerd man. He's talking and I have no idea wtf he's saying because of the way he talked and his lingo or whatever. So he apparently is a master of this laser tag game and makes me do what he tells me. We get in there and I was having fun following some girl shooting her and he fucking screams for me to back him up or I dont know what he said. By this time I am completely pissed of by the way he's telling me what to do when im trying to have fun. Long story short I unconsciously take him aside and tell him to go shove his nerd laser up his nerd ass and shoot him a few times. I am realising what I just said and apologize and he just walks out of the thing and I'm embarrassed for him and me.

Someone scold me please!

I totally would have popped a laser cap in his ass. No scolding from the cheap seats.

[RachWho?]

I don't think I totally understand the story.

But if you want scolding, here's a good spanking from Rach.

Bad Matty!

['tonyagasm']

Harder! ;)

[jampony]

I wanna know how you took him aside unconsciously. Had you passed out from all the laughing at the strange dancing nerd man? Were you sleep walking and felt the urge to ridicule the afore mentioned strange dancing nerd man? Oh, mattydakotatonyathunderxxxballsuckergasm... I've missed you!

PS: No scolding from me. That costs extra.

[lennonwhore]

I wanna know how you took him aside unconsciously.



i was wondering the same thing!

['tonyagasm']

Ok, I mean about when I said that to him. My bad, you know how when your really mad you do something you didn't mean to do? like that.
your going to make me say it aren't you?
okies, thundercunttripplexxxsidewayz!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Oh, mattydakotatonyathunderxxxballsuckergasm... I've missed you!

okies, thundercunttripplexxxsidewayz!

You two are just too precious.
{{{{:o :) }}}}

['tonyagasm']

I'm the smiley on the right! :)

[jennm926]

Okay, so I'm new to posting in the forums, but I stumbled across this thread and felt that if I could sit and read everyone's embarrassing stories, the very least I could do is to share one of my own:

I was sixteen. I had a raging sixteen-year-old-girl crush on this guy who ran track for our high school...I was also the statistician for the track team. We were leaving from a track meet one night and he said that he didn't have a ride home. Well, it just so happened that I had borrowed my mom's car that day, and I jumped at the chance to give him a lift.

So instead of going straight home, we end up driving around and talking for a little while. We come to a fairly busy intersection and the light's red. I stop, and while we're sitting there, he leaned over and kissed me.

I was sooo excited that my crush had planted one on me, that I totally forgot about anything else, like, oh, say, DRIVING THE CAR. I took my foot off the brake, and my car coasted forward....right into the back of the car in front of me!! Yup, I rear-ended someone over a kiss.

Luckily, the lady was VERY nice. Since I'd been stopped, I wasn't going very fast when I hit her and there wasn't any damage, so she didn't call the police, or threaten to sue. However, as we were getting back into our cars, she turns and yells to me "Next time, honey, shift into PARK!!"

[lennonwhore]

great story, jenn.

at least you got the kiss!

[angiemarie]

Cute story, Jenn! And welcome to the forums.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

This is actually my sister's embarassing moment from tonight.

She went to the airport to pick up her boyfriend. He had been on vacation to see his family in Romania.

She was waiting at the gate with a sign that said "Welcome Home Babycakes". The first person off the plane...........


...her ex-boyfriend.

[RachWho?]

This is actually my sister's embarassing moment from tonight.

She went to the airport to pick up her boyfriend. He had been on vacation to see his family in Romania.

She was waiting at the gate with a sign that said "Welcome Home Babycakes". The first person off the plane...........


...her ex-boyfriend.

That could have turned into an even more embarrasing moment for him if he assumed the sign was for him and he came rushing into her arms, only to have her brutally rebuff him. Better yet, if the Romanian boyfriend saw it all, he could have punched the loser.

This scenario is only enjoyable to consider if her ex-boyfriend was a fungdart.

For your sister, it really is just embarassing. How did she play it off? Did they both just ignore each other?

[minda07]

This is actually my sister's embarassing moment from tonight.

She went to the airport to pick up her boyfriend. He had been on vacation to see his family in Romania.

She was waiting at the gate with a sign that said "Welcome Home Babycakes". The first person off the plane...........


...her ex-boyfriend.

Hahahaha - I am giggling like a school girl over this! I can so see her face falling when she saw the ex.

[Ms. Tumnus]

That's classic Tink. Your poor sister.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

She said he walked out and was facing her and looked at her and then kept going, then he turned back and looked again and then looked at the sign and made a face. She then aimed the sign downward and made a face back and he walked off.

And yeah - he was a total creep. Shame her new fella didn't come out right then because he is a model (Gilette's Face of Fusion) (http://radusigmerean.com/default.aspx) and I'm sure that would have made the ex feel insecure.

[jennm926]

This is actually my sister's embarassing moment from tonight.

She went to the airport to pick up her boyfriend. He had been on vacation to see his family in Romania.

She was waiting at the gate with a sign that said "Welcome Home Babycakes". The first person off the plane...........


...her ex-boyfriend.

OMG! Too funny.

And, umm....I'm just gonna come right out and say this. Your sister's boyfriend has a first class ticket on the HOT TAMALE TRAIN!!! Woooooo!!

[RachWho?]

She said he walked out and was facing her and looked at her and then kept going, then he turned back and looked again and then looked at the sign and made a face. She then aimed the sign downward and made a face back and he walked off.

And yeah - he was a total creep. Shame her new fella didn't come out right then because he is a model (Gilette's Face of Fusion) (http://radusigmerean.com/default.aspx) and I'm sure that would have made the ex feel insecure.

He is a total hottie! Exactly the kind of swarthy gentleman you want to be caught making out with when you ex walks by! Lucky sis, Tink!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Yeah he's adorable and a total sweetheart AND he has a Romanian accent. She is a lucky little twirp. lol

[angiemarie]

Does your sister's boyfriend have any older brothers? Cousins? Uncles? If they didn't speak English that would be even better.

[LonnaSaur]

This is someone else's embarrassing moment but I don't like him so I am going to share!

Today when I came to work I had a little cake in a bakery box because one of my co-workers just got a promotion. My boss walked by and saw me putting it in the fridge and he goes, "Sorry, I didn't mean to peek." I was thinking WTF but I just wrote it off to him being socially awkward and weird.

After lunch I was in the conference room setting up the cake and plates and stuff and my co-workers brought the newly promoted girl in. We were just about to cut the cake when my boss burst into the room (no one realized he wasn't already there), and said, "Sorry I'm late. The birthday boy is here."

Uh, no one knew it was his birthday. We have never known when his birthday is. He generally frowns on much office-wide celebration or camaraderie. His face turned a shade of red I have never seen before when we told him it was for my co-worker. Ouch.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

That is a GREAT story!

[RachWho?]

Oh, that's kind of a sad story, but knowing he's not much for being friendly around the office, I guess it makes it funny!

Did he join in after that?

[lennonwhore]

GREAT story! did anyone try to smooth things over, or just let the awkard pause build up?

[photochild]

That is hilarious. I'd be snickering in the corner if that happened. That sounds like something out of The Office.

[Ms. Tumnus]

That is hilarious. I'd be snickering in the corner if that happened. That sounds like something out of The Office.

That's TOTALLY a Michael thing to do.

[LonnaSaur]

Well, the woman who got the promotion said something like, "Actually, this is to celebrate my promotion but I guess we have two things to celebrate now!" She is kind of a brown-noser but I guess she saved the day in her own way. The boss was really quiet at the party after that. Things are so awkward in our office anyway-morale is terrible and it's a very toxic environment. A few weeks ago several of my co-workers snuck off and had a secret meeting with some higher-ups to complain about the boss. Then, the higher-ups called a meeting with everyone (I was out of the office that day, thank goodness) and they all sat around the table with the boss and said how awful he was. I would have DIED. I don't know how they can continue to interact with him. Apparently we have to have more meetings like that and I just hope I happen to be away from the office on THOSE days, too. I don't like him, but I don't want to pile on and kick him while he's down. He's in his late 50's; it's lunacy to think he will change.

[RachWho?]

Well, no wonder you're looking for another job!!!

[LonnaSaur]

Damn straight!

[giffordsaz]

Looks like Lonna found her new job!!

It has been a year, there has to be some one who has wanted to crawl in a hole in the past year.

[LonnaSaur]

The other day, I was taking a bag of trash out to the dumpster. I heaved it in, heard a weird scratching/scrabbling sound from inside the dumpster, and the next thing I know, a SQUIRREL has leaped out of the dumpster onto my arm! It startled me like you wouldn't believe. The thing was gone almost before I knew it had been there, leaving a bruise and a slight scratch on my arm, and a flick of its tail on my face. I think the poor thing was more freaked out than I was! I am not scared of squirrels and I actually think they are adorable, but this was one encounter that was a little too close for comfort! The embarrassing part is that it was so unexpected that I screamed-a real girly scream-then I immediately was looking all around to be sure no one had heard or seen me. It's embarrassing enough to be jumped by a squirrel, but it would have been worse if anyone had witnessed it! I guess I could have been hurt-bitten or something, but I wasn't, so now I just laugh every time I think about it!

[giffordsaz]

are you the only one who posts in this thread dear.? surely some one has something to add.

[jampony]

Lonna, that's so funny! I'm always afraid of that happening to me so I check the dumpster before I throw anything away. Although, now that I think about it, that's kind of stupid. I'm sticking my head in a dumpster to check for wild animals. What would I do if one jumped on my head? I'd run away, flailing my arms and screaming like a girly girl.

[JulieM]

Oh Lonna, I so sympathize with you. Way back when I was throwing my trash into a dumpster, a kitty flew out over my head and I did the girly scream too. It's so funny now, but seriously, I almost wet my pants.

[angiemarie]

Oh, Lonna, that must have been so startling! I hate when I get surprised like that.

Jamp, the visual of you running around with a squirrel on your head made me LOL!

Tink, don't read this story, it involves one of the creatures you really hate.

I have an embarrassing tale. I was taking my final pee of the day before turning in for the night on Saturday. I caught something out of the corner of my eye, and when I turned around to look, it was a giant SPIDER on the bathroom wall behind the toilet. I mean this wasn't some sissy daddy-long legs spider that I usually find in my apartment this time of year. It was brown and had thick legs and was about he size of a postcard. I got so scared, I jumped up mid-pee and got pee all over the toilet seat. I started running away and almost tripped over my shorts and underpants that were still around my ankles. When I had pulled up my pants and was out in the hall, I was desperately trying to think of anyone I could call at 3am on a Sat night/Sun morning to take care of this for me. I couldn't come up with anyone. So I gathered all my pitiful courage, and went into the bathroom armed with a boot and a toilet plunger as weapons. Luckily, that spider bastard hadn't moved, and I squished him good with the plunger! He fell on the floor and I double-smushed him with the boot and the plunger. I cleaned up the spider carcass with the vacuum cleaner and emptied it outside. I hope all his spider friends see his dead carcass, and know not to try coming into my place. And then I went inside and cleaned the toilet.


There are only three times I wish I was married, when I have to kill bugs, when I have to take out the garbage, and when I have to walk my dogs in cold weather.

[lennonwhore]

Oh Ang, that was a hilarious mental image! I just about peed myself laughing.

[jampony]

Great story, ang! Very descriptive. How the hell did you see a spider behind the toilet where it's so dark? You must have very good eyesight.

Angie's story reminded me of one of my own. I'll even start it out like her: I was taking my first pee of the day at 5:00 a.m. -- contacts not in yet, eyes all blurry and blinded by the bathroom light, sitting there doing my thing, when I see something out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was just my hair falling in my face or something. Next thing I know, a gigantic centipede is running straight at me! I stupidly react as if it's a mouse: I lift my feet up as high as they can go while balancing ever so carefully on the toilet. I guess I temporarily forgot that centipedes can climb? I don't know. But basically, I just gave this humongous hairy multi-legged creature easy access to my hoo ha! When I finally realized that, I jumped up (I somehow managed to wipe AND pull up my pants -- I'm multi-talented) and ran into my bedroom for a shoe. I couldn't have been more than four or five seconds but by the time I got back, the mother effer was gone. So I turned on every light in the apartment and stared in my bathroom for a solid ten minutes. My patience paid off and I saw it again... of course, it was by the bathroom door that leads to my bedroom and I was in the bathroom door by the hall. I ran around the other side and lost it again. Five minutes later I found it again and smooshed the shit out of it. There was barely anything left to clean up so I had to use Resolve on it because I knew the dead carcass was ground into my carpet. And I even was able to eat breakfast after all that! :D

[RachWho?]

I hate bugs too, more than life itself.

Ang and Jamp--you guys are rock stars!

[JulieM]

You too are much braver than me....way braver. When my best amiga was here a few weeks ago, you should have seen me wet my pants over a dead spider in my jewelry making tool box. Yep, a dead spider.

It was huge though.

[TV Cart]

Spiders I can pretty much handle cause they are easy to kill. And any bug in the sink or tub you can drown. But I had a cricket in my bedroom, and didn't want to kill it and those things can hop far! After a few nights of it leaving me alone (it wasn't chirping) and me trying to get it out, it finally landed on my arm in the middle of the night, then landed on my pillow and I flung it across the room, finally killing it. Unfortunately, the dog is only good with flying bugs, he can get those.

[giffordsaz]

embarassing... hmmm

Have you even been in a store and sneezed while you also had to pee?

enough said.

[Cherie]

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Clean up on aisle nine!

[jampony]

Spiders I can pretty much handle cause they are easy to kill. And any bug in the sink or tub you can drown.
Ooooh, I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you try to drown a spider, they just build some sort of oxygen bubble web thingy and come back up a few hours later. So if you think you killed one by flushing it down the toilet, beware... it might climb back up and bite you in the ass. (Is anyone else irrationally afraid of this actually happening, or is it just me?)

[Pekmboyd]

Ooooh, I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you try to drown a spider, they just build some sort of oxygen bubble web thingy and come back up a few hours later. So if you think you killed one by flushing it down the toilet, beware... it might climb back up and bite you in the ass. (Is anyone else irrationally afraid of this actually happening, or is it just me?)

I'm not irrationally afraid of spider-air-bubbles, but I am very irrationally afraid of snakes climbing up the toilet pipes. When the phobia is bad, I have to hover, pee, and jump away as fast as I can.

[LonnaSaur]

See, Giff, I'm not the only one who posts in this thread!

I hate bugs, too, but I won't kill them (except just once when I went on a murderous bug rampage, which is another story). Very early on in our relationship, my now-husband saw a beetle in my apartment and asked if I wanted him to kill it. I looked at him like he had suggested kicking a puppy. The poor guy had to catch the thing and release it outside. He still does that, too. Now that is love!

[here4beer]

Ooooh, I hate to be the one to tell you, but if you try to drown a spider, they just build some sort of oxygen bubble web thingy and come back up a few hours later. So if you think you killed one by flushing it down the toilet, beware... it might climb back up and bite you in the ass. (Is anyone else irrationally afraid of this actually happening, or is it just me?)

That's not true, is it??!?!?!?!?!?!?! I always flush bugs down the toilet when I find them cuz I figure it's the least messy/ most surefire way to kill them. I think you just freaked me out royally with this news, jamp.

Please excuse me while I go cry quietly in the corner.

[Clair]

I also take bugs outside and let them go free... even spiders.

[LonnaSaur]

I also take bugs outside and let them go free... even spiders.

Good! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one. Most people think I am crazy to do that.

I got myself into some trouble when I was in graduate school for museum studies. For pest management and monitoring in museum collections we use sticky traps to both catch insects and see what kinds of insects are in the collections storage areas. I went in to check the traps, which I HATED doing and there was a cricket stuck to one of the traps by just one leg. I was horrified, I can't imagine letting any living creature die that way-scared, hungry, thirsty, etc. so I took a paper clip and somehow managed to extricate the leg that was stuck and I took the cricket outside and let him go. When my professor realized what I had done he was not very impressed. Apparently, that is NOT the proper way to monitor pests in a museum collection. I don't regret doing it, though!

[oliverandharry]

That's not true, is it??!?!?!?!?!?!?! I always flush bugs down the toilet when I find them cuz I figure it's the least messy/ most surefire way to kill them. I think you just freaked me out royally with this news, jamp.

Please excuse me while I go cry quietly in the corner.

Okay...I have to chime in here. I hope this doesn't freak anyone out. Several years ago one of my cats caught a tree frog in the garage and brought it in the house to show me. After screaming, I calmly got some paper towels and picked up the "dead" tree frog and flushed him down the toilet in the guest bathroom. I never thought anything else about it. Then a few days later, I was using the guest bathroom and felt a little tickle on my butt. I immediately jumped up and looked under the lid and there was the tree frog!!! I was so freaked out!!! I slammed the lid down and ran out of the bathroom and did not go back in there for 3 days. I finally got enough courage to go back and sure enough, there was the tree frog inside the toilet. I ended up getting a neighbor to come in and remove it for me. I absolutely hate tree frogs.

[lennonwhore]

I think I would start screaming and crying if something crawled UP from the toilet while I was sitting down on it.

[here4beer]

I would absolutely, positively lose my shit if that happened to me. I think I would have to be placed under observation for 1 week minimum if a frog tried to crawl up my butt from inside the toilet. Seriously. :s

[JulieM]

My reaction would be to do what you do naturally while sitting on a toilet...except I wouldn't be sitting on a toilet any longer.

[angiemarie]

I think the most important thing we can learn today is that flushing things down the toilet is NOT a surefire way to get rid of them. Just take the little bastards outside, or squish them to death and put them in the trash.

(Am I the only one who felt sorry for the frog? Being trapped in a toilet for 3 days couldn't have been fun.)

[chooch850]

No, you're not the only one Ang. I sympathized with the poor little guy, but I loved O&H's story! Frogs are different thann bugs.

I smash or spray bugs & spiders. I make sure they go to bug heaven!!!

[LonnaSaur]

(Am I the only one who felt sorry for the frog? Being trapped in a toilet for 3 days couldn't have been fun.)

I felt sorry for him, too. My "most hated" scene in all of Lost is when Sawyer squishes the tree frog. So mean and cruel and not at all necessary.