XXX Callin' chooch... XXX

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Hey chooch,

I feel like I was a little rude last night. I'm sorry!!!!! I really feel like an ass, plus the Mich Ultra did NOT help! I'm a REALLY slow typer - I was trying to keep up with the conversation and kept missing your comments.... I'm sorry.

You're my closest geo TVG pal, I would seriously love to get together in the WNY region at some point, will you be my lunch-buddy too?

Do you still like me?

Yes


No

[giffordsaz]

check which one.... you know .... we used to do it in 4th grade......

[chooch850]

What the hell are you talking about????

[giffordsaz]

I love it.... Chooch on a memory search.... what did chooch do and when did she do it... and was she there when it happened!!! heehee he hawhaw haw

[chooch850]

I love it.... Chooch on a memory search.... what did chooch do and when did she do it... and was she there when it happened!!! heehee he hawhaw haw


Hey....don't pick on me 'cuz I'm old...maybe I need some of that ginko biloba crap 'cuz I don't have a clue what Cheez is talking about.

Well at least now I have a thread with MY name in it like PEG !!!!!!1 I knew I was special.... I tried to tell ya all that.

....and Hell Cheez, I love ya now for putting up my thread.

[giffordsaz]

lets all celebrate chooch's own thread!! lets wax her yaya.... who lives the closest to her...?
Hey that is you Cheezit..... make an appointment... or better yet we could chip in and get her an Aussie Makeover... hhmmm... which one will it be chooch????

[chooch850]

waxing the ya-ya...definitely.

[flipit]

chooch, i will do a lot for you, but waxing your yaya is not one. but i'll totally talk you through some solo later.

HOLLA CHOOCH

[may1]

Chooch is getting some love.

[Ms. Tumnus]

Congrats Chooch on your very own thread.

:punk:

[Jinger]

I'm so jealous chooch! You know how sensitive I can be....:crying:

I just hope that my posting on here doesn't "kill" your thread, that would be horrible, just horrible....:sneaky2:

:lol:

[Quidam]

I want to play on the Chooch Chooch train.:thumbup:

Wait...that just doesn't sound right! :blushing:

[JulieM]

Waxing? OMR I had my post menopausal face done this weekend. No way could they do my ya ya.

A Chooch thread...now that's an honor to behold.

[minda07]

Congrats Chooch on your very own thread - I am also glad to see Jinger didn't kill your thread!

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Too funny! LOL!

I was talking about the chat last night with Tink, of course I WAS kind of... tipsy! Maybe I don't know what I'm talking about...:o

I definitely don't feel like gang-busters today. Although a little landscaping would probably wake my ass right up.! LOL!
:blink:

Erf, I'm getting old...

[Clair]

Yay, a Chooch thread! :thumbup:

[RachWho?]

Yay, a Chooch thread! :thumbup:

That was my thought exactly! You're a big kid now, Chooch! :D

[chooch850]

I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your kind and supportive words. I know that millions will visit here and read my thread. I will do my best to make sure it maintains the integrity and intelligence of the TVGASM forums. Few have had this honor bestowed on them. Some have flourished, while others have fallen by the wayside. With your help, this will not happen to my thread, or should I say, 'our thread'. Together we can make this the most posted and most read. Someday we could actually achieve STICKY status.

So in closing, my dear faithful minions. If you have absolutely nothing to say and you feel the need to say it. This is the place to come. Just call Chooch..... I'm listening.

[Quidam]

Just call Chooch..... I'm listening.

http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a369/holly46559/1-9.jpg

[minda07]

Wow Chooch - you are like a late night radio host! I usually have pointless things to say but feel no one will listen - I am glad to know you will listen here. I hope you achieve your sticky status!

[RachWho?]

I can say ANYTHING here? Even if it's pointless? Wow...

Well, I just explained what edamame was to my secretary. How's that for pointless? And boring.

[chooch850]

I can say ANYTHING here? Even if it's pointless? Wow...

Well, I just explained what edamame was to my secretary. How's that for pointless? And boring.


Ok..... now explain it to me...

[RachWho?]

Ok..... now explain it to me...

Edamame is just the Japanese name for soybeans. You can buy them at most health food stores/Trader Joes/even a lot of grocery stores frozen and you can steam or boil them. They are delicious and very healthy.

See, I told you it was boring.

[flipit]

i live a couple doors down from a gay porn star and he's super adorable and very nice, but i can't look him in the eye cuz i've seen his pee pee. and he works out too much. the whole thing makes me feel very uncomfortable and very aware of how much i come onto tvgasm and giggle instead of work out.

ps that red weave thing is hilarious. i think i know the assailant, but i would just let her go. she's poke your eyes out.

[photochild]

So a couple years ago I was dating (kinda) this guy who had to go to Iraq for a year. I sent him some letters and he replied and asked me to send him a porno. So me and my gay go to the porn shop to find a good one. I had no idea what this guy liked except for big boobs. And most of them had big boobs on them so we grabbed one of the cheapo ones "Anal Artists" I believe it was called. So we get back to his apt and we're both tempted, so we open it and watch to see what I'm shipping off to help the boys out at war. It was the FUNNIEST porn I've ever seen. The girls did "art" by sticking enemas of paint in their butts and squirting them out on canvas. It sounds gross...and I guess it was, but we were laughing our asses off the hwole time. I have no idea if he got off on it, there were some normal sex scenes and stuff, but I sent it off. We ended up breaking things off when he got back, but I'll always remember that porno. I bet he still has it sitting around.

And there you go. I wanted to add to the Chooch thread.

[RachWho?]

The Chooch thread is quickly becoming the tell your porn-related story thread.

I'll bite: we bought our house from a gay couple, so for a few months we got their catalogs, etc...the stuff the post office won't forward. They had a LOT of gay porn catalogs. I LOVED perusing them, leaving them out when company came over (not including my husband's grandpa). My favorite title: "Cuckoo for Coco Cock"

[giffordsaz]

and the coach complained because he got new helmets for the girls 8th grade softball team and they are dragging these things back into the storage area every practice.... in a huge card board box --it takes two girls to carry it..... so i ask him if he wants a bag.... he says sure and I go home a sew one up ... with velcro side openings and a hook to hang it in the dug out.... and Monday when I show up at the end of practice another mother who had listened to this conversation has given him two mesh laundry bags for the helmets... and they are in the bags... and here I stand with my ugly bag folded under my arm.......
What should I do to this other mother Chooch... ????

[chooch850]

Take her behind the dug-out and beat the crap outta her, then stick your bag up her ass.

[Jinger]

...or take her behind the dugout, cut her into pieces, shove her in YOUR bag. That way you won't feel like it was a waste to make it.

[photochild]

I'd just chuck the helmets at her. One at a time. Aim for her head.

[chooch850]

I hope we've been helpful Giff.

.... and PC, now I wanna go out and get some paint and redecorate the livingroom. Do ya think the cats would let me use them too. I could hold them up to the walls and squeeze.

[may1]

Chooch - I love this thread!!!!!!!!!!!1

First my porn story: When I was first married (23 yrs ago) I had never seen a porn movie. My hubby brought home "Dickman and Throbben" which was the funniest, best porn movie ever. To this day (I admit, I've seen many a porn movie by now) it is still my hands down favorite. If you have an opportunity - rent it.:w00t:

Second: growing up in an all Italian neighborhood, we call stupid, dumb, idiotic people "chooch". Everytime I see your name Chooch, I'm reminded of that. You prove the nickname wrong!:simplesmile:

[minda07]

oh, oh, oh ... I have a porn story too! I used to work at Blockbuster and they would get returned in our cases all the time, at least once a week. That is actually how I saw my 1st porn, one came in and all the guys went to the back to view it and of course me and not wanting to be left out I begged to watch too. It was of a girl who would sit in a martini glass and suck water up her whoha and then squirt it on the men. There was no actual sex, just her spatting out her cooter.:ohmy:
I say it was a poor mans PC porn at least she got sex in hers!

[chooch850]

Ladies...Ladies...Ladies.... This thread is suppose to be full of class and integrity. I'm going to have to ask Tink to put XXX beside my thread title. What a bunch of perv's you all are. I'm soooo proud.

... and May, thank you for not thinking I'm an Idiot, although that's still up for debate.

[Ms. Tumnus]

What an awesome thread. Almost makes me wish I had a good porn story to tell...

[Quidam]

Make one up like they do in Hustler or Penthouse magazine! ;)

[photochild]

You want funny porn stories? Watch Russian gay porn. Jeeze, they're hoots. Or any gay "artsy" movie, thats just a cover for porn with odd story lines floating around.

[Jinger]

I'm bored...I wish I was drunk

[chooch850]

I'm bored...I wish I was drunk

What's stoppin' ya ????

[RachWho?]

I'm bored...I wish I was drunk

That statement next to the picture of the little girl picking her nose...it's a little disturbing but really hilarious!

As far as funny porns, if you want to watch a highly entertaining soft core porn, I definitely recommend "Lord of the G-Strings" I caught this on Showtime late one evening when I was sick as a dog and it was the ONLY thing that managed to cheer me up. Gandalf is a horny old wizard, the hobbits just walk around on their knees to appear short, and of course instead of trying to get the ring, they are trying to get a g-string. It rocks.

Oh yeah, and back to Chooch--she is a goddess!

[Jinger]

What's stoppin' ya ????

There's this dude here that's kind of frowns upon sucking down cosmo's while I'm working. He's a real buzz kill I swear...

[Jinger]

That statement next to the picture of the little girl picking her nose...it's a little disturbing but really hilarious!

Oddly enough Rach, you just described me to a tee...

A little disturbing but really HI-larious!

[tvaholic]

First time caller, long time listener, great topic, love the show!

My first porn I saw was in college when my roommate held "Pizza & Porn Tuesdays" in our room. I think it was called "Rubber Love'" and that was the title of the song as well. It was a bunch of condoms in a medicine cabinet who talked to each other until they were needed. I think they may have talked during the act too, like a narrator. It was freakin' hilarious.

Seriously, men really get turned on by this stuff?

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

I've got a kind of gross, porn-y story.

Years ago, before we even lived together, some of the people that worked in our company got together and got my husband a stripper for his birthday. The stripper was running late, apparently she had been hanging at out at the lake (it was a really hot July day).

Anyway she gets there, and does her routine. The grand finale was that grabbed my husband by the thighs, flipped herself upside down, and then did a split so that his face pretty much nested right in her hoo hah.

Which is when she let out the loudest, longest queef in the history of the world.

I literally almost pissed on the floor, I was laughing uncontrollably...

[chooch850]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: .... that just struck me as soooo funny. You made my day with that one

[ScotyUtah]

I've got a kind of gross, porn-y story.

Years ago, before we even lived together, some of the people that worked in our company got together and got my husband a stripper for his birthday. The stripper was running late, apparently she had been hanging at out at the lake (it was a really hot July day).

Anyway she gets there, and does her routine. The grand finale was that grabbed my husband by the thighs, flipped herself upside down, and then did a split so that his face pretty much nested right in her hoo hah.

Which is when she let out the loudest, longest queef in the history of the world.

I literally almost pissed on the floor, I was laughing uncontrollably...

Nested!!! Awesome usage in its context. How much could I contribute to this thread now that it's taken a major turn? I don't know if I should go there....

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

I'm cracking up right now thinking about it! LOL!

My husband was MORTIFIED! He had this really fake, yet pained smile just PLASTERED on his face, and he was fire-engine red too. Which was even more comical because he had one of her sweaty stockings tied around his head in a weird kind of bow. :lol:

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Scoty,

I REALLY, REALLY want to hear your contribution.:D

[chooch850]

Yes Scoty, we would love the male perspective of pornography.

....and a side note to my minions.... you will not be ignored here... even if it's the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life.... I'm listening and will respond. Remember, this is a thread where you can say anything or absolutely nothing. It doesn't have to be all porn.....but pervs are welcome.

(let's just hope jinger doesn't kill the thread)

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I have a stripper story that is sooooooo vile. But it's funny - and funny always trumps vile - so I SHALL post it.

I was out to dinner with some girls from work and somehow we got on the topic of gross stories. One girl trumped all of us with the tale of the night of her Bachelorette party. I was quite skeptical but one of the other girls that was out with us that night was a witness to these events.

The bride's now husband had his Bachelor party on the same night as her Bacholerette Party. They had their parties on a Thursday so that they could recover in time for the Rehearsal on Saturday night and wedding on Sunday.

The groom and his friends got a suite at a schmancy hotel and hired a stripper to come to the room. They had her dancing around him while he was tied to a chair with his necktie and her stockings. They pushed his chair up to the table and his friends helped the stripper up onto the table so she could dance for him. Meanwhile..

The bride's friends took her to a strip club to see some guy's dance. This was one of those clubs where the men wiggle their junk in your face. Well every girl in her group was paying the men to come wiggle for the bride-to-be so it was a junkapalooza....

Back at the hotel - things were just starting to get fun when the stripper's heel broke and she fell down hard... on the groom... on his face...with her pelvis....

Back at the club - the bride started to feel funny, her eyes were all watery and itchy. They started to get so bad her friends rushed her to the ER where she ran into her groom and his friends.

The groom had a broken nose and two black eyes but he got off easy compared to the bride who, thanks to a night spent with a face full of stripper junk, ended up with CRABS in her EYES! :ohmy: :bored:

Needless to say they don't show ANYONE their wedding album.

[chooch850]

CRABS IN HER EYES !!!!!!!!1 That's so many things.... So far you win on that story....

I've had more fun today listening to these things..... keep 'em cummin'


(...actually I'm reading , not listening)

[TinkerbellAPixie]

It just dawned on me - a certain someone who shall remain nameless - is 9 posts away from Obsession. Wouldn't it be ideal to have it hit on her very own porn flavored thread?

[Clair]

....and a side note to my minions....

Why doest thou call us "minions". Do you not know it is 'term of contempt'?? :D

[chooch850]

Why doest thou call us "minions". Do you not know it is 'term of contempt'?? :D

It is only meant in jest... not to be taken literally. What would be a better word now????

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Oh my God Tink,

That is hilarious! I'm laughing like a jackass, and my husband's like "What's so funny?" I can't tell him, 'cuz he'll kill me for sharing...

Crabs in your eyes? I didn't even know that was possible! Wow, it's so gross.. :lol::lol:

[TinkerbellAPixie]

It is only meant in jest... not to be taken literally. What would be a better word now????

Hmm... better word than minions...

admirers - too tame
believers - better
bootlickers - hmm
cohorts - too nice?
devotees - maybe my favorite
disciples - like this one too
hanger-on - maybe
lackey - too close to minion?
parasite - :tonguewag:

Oh my God Tink,

That is hilarious! I'm laughing like a jackass, and my husband's like "What's so funny?" I can't tell him, 'cuz he'll kill me for sharing..... :lol::lol:

Thank you, thank you - I'm here all week.

Try the veal and tip your waitresses.

[flipit]

Choochie's Hoochies

[flipit]

OH
MY
GOD

i just went back a couple of pages and am laughing my balls into my tummy. cheez, the queef in the face followed by tink's crabs in the eyes was f in BRILLIANT. now THIS is a thread!;) :crying: :confused1: :w00t:

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Choochie's Hoochies

DING- DING- DING! We have a winner!

[campfiregirl]

Choochie's Hoochies

Leave it to Flipit to find the best name.!

Love this thread and love ya Chooch!:D

[TinkerbellAPixie]

i just went back a couple of pages and am laughing my balls into my tummy. cheez, the queef in the face followed by tink's crabs in the eyes was f in BRILLIANT. now THIS is a thread!;) :crying: :confused1: :w00t:

Whoa! That sounds bad! Maybe "tink's FRIEND who had crabs in her eyes"

Lmao - now I know how minda felt with her herpes.

[chooch850]

You're all a bunch of "hoochie" or "hoochy" (?)mamas....... and Flipit, I wondered when you were gonna notice this thread was 'made for you and me.'

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

This is awesome! I love it!

Chee-Z Hoochie :lol:

[chooch850]

This is awesome! I love it!

Chee-Z Hoochie :lol:

And it's all because of you and your drunkin' rambling about something which I still have no clue as to what you were referring too.:D

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I can be TinkerbellAHootchie :)

[tvaholic]

Wow, I just got in & you all had me crying-frickin' awesome stories!! Choochies Hoochies-I think we all should get pink shiny jackets with that on the back & our Hoochie name on the front. Of course we'd have to occasionally break into song, but that's ok!

[zoobabe]

I can't believe I read the WHOLE thing, but any thread that has a title "cushioned" in XXX's HAS to be worth it!:D


crabs in the eyes. Eye crabs. Opticrabs.

that's just gross and I pick up poop for a living!

[campfiregirl]

Campa hootchie.

love ya

[Madeyoulaugh]

Dear This Thread,

I Love You.

MYL

[JulieM]

Juliehoochie just doesn't work for me...going to have to work on that one.

[RachWho?]

Oh, yay, I love it.

Just call me Rachoochie!

[Ms. Tumnus]

Ms. Hoochie??? Does that work?

[RachWho?]

Ms. Hoochie??? Does that work?

Better than Tumnoochie. Sounds like a tropical disease. :D

[Ms. Tumnus]

Better than Tumnoochie. Sounds like a tropical disease. :D

or something you pick up down South...of your navel.

[Quidam]

I just knew there was one of these out there...
The Porn Star Name Generator (http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/1010/)

Spank yourself, you sexy thing!

Chandy Swallows

[minda07]

I can use the porn name given - Muffin Madelline - or - mindahocchie - which to me sounds like a lake in florida or an Alan Jackson song.

Chooch - you do have a great thread here!

Tink - Your friend with the crabs in the eye is the funniest story followed by cheez's queef. I went to one of these male revues for a bach party and was skeeved out when they took my glasses and rubbed it on there junk - good thing I never got the crabs!

[Jinger]

Chooch...I am gonna post because even I can't kill this thread - it's too awesome!

Tink - seriously...that was freakin hysterical! I am so glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that!

[Karo]

Ka-hootchie-ro. I love it.

[may1]

So, who here has filmed their own porn movie?
I don't own a video camera, so I haven't. Though if I did......

You can tell us, it's not like we'll break into your home, steal the video, and post it...or anything.:coolshades:

[Clair]

I should make remarks about people's word choices more often. :) "Hoochie Clair" doesn't have a good ring to it though. "Hoochie Mama" kinda works but that's been done before.

I thought your porn star name was your first pet's name followed by your first street name - Charlie Salerno for me - however, Quidam's porn star name generator gave me (using Clair) ~ Chandelier LaBouche Yea Baby!

[Ms. Tumnus]

I haven't been performing anything that would really be worthy of keeping for posterity, unfortunately.

Even if I were, I don't think I would. You never know who could stumble upon that shit.

[Ms. Tumnus]

I'm apparently related to Minda, and am copying Clair:

Chandelier Madelline

Wow, that's hardly a creative tool now is it?

[Quidam]

I had to do something...I just couldn't get my heart into

Qoochie :eek:

[giffordsaz]

I am realted to Clair too... this is what it gave me for my first and middle name......
Frenchy LaBouche
Now i thought that was cool until it was already played out here.... so I will officially rename my self.......
Lickety Split.

Now I'm not sure which I like better ..
crabs in the eyes/stripper fall... or farts in face...........
I'm glad it isn't a compition....... either way I am thinking the stripper must have been mortified... poor girl and if anyone lets strange junk get that close to their face..... you better carry a can of Raid.

I don't think the hoochie thing fits my name well either...

[minda07]

I'm apparently related to Minda, and am copying Clair:

Chandelier Madelline

Wow, that's hardly a creative tool now is it?

I love that you are related to me, I finally have a cool chick in the family!

I had to do something...I just couldn't get my heart into

Qoochie :eek:


I love it!

[Ms. Tumnus]

I love that you are related to me, I finally have a cool chick in the family!


Well, my sister's pretty cool too, so now you have two! :)

[minda07]

Sweet, because my sister-in-law is a huge fungdart!

[RachWho?]

I guess I am related too? Chandelier Bangsum. Some kind of French/Asian porn hottie I guess.

My sister is cool, but I can always use more.

[Karo]

Hey, I got a chandelier first name too! I call shechandelieragans.

[RachWho?]

Hey, I got a chandelier first name too! I call shechandelieragans.

I believe the term is shechandeliernanigans.

Say that 10 times fast. Or even once.

We are really doing great at making this thread about almost nothing at all. Besides crab eyes.

[Clair]

I have a daughter named Shannon and I call her Shenanigans. She hates it. :D

[Karo]

I have a daughter named Shannon and I call her Shenanigans. She hates it. :D

It's a mother's job to make fun of her child, all the while proclaiming she (the child) could have it much worse.

[Quidam]

I have a daughter named Shannon and I call her Shenanigans. She hates it. :D

I so wanted to name my daughter Shannon, I love that name, and I love the knickname!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

If we go by the old porn star name recipe metioned earlier - pet's name + street, I would be Cuddles Biloxi, sounds like a Southern Porn Star.

Now, like George Costanza, I also have a self-appointed name should I ever turn to porn. If you ever see a film starring Chesty Busterton - well that'll be me. :)

[Jinger]

I have a daughter named Shannon and I call her Shenanigans. She hates it. :D

That's what I call one of my besties, but I say it Shan-anigans

If we go by the old porn star name recipe metioned earlier - pet's name + street, I would be Cuddles Biloxi, sounds like a Southern Porn Star.

Now, like George Costanza, I also have a self-appointed name should I ever turn to porn. If you ever see a film starring Chesty Busterton - well that'll be me. :)

I am calling you Chesty from now on...no more TINK!

I am Boo Mozart by Tink's, er, Chesty's formula but Jinger just happens to already be my porn name....just Jinger. Like Madonna. Only Jinger. JINGER!!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Jinger is a pretty rockin Porn name.

Now that we've all Chooch'd our names....there's always the pornification of your screen name--> KinkerbellAPixie ;)

[chooch850]

I am pleased as punch. I get up today and my Hoochies have added 2 whole pages to my thread. I even have a post from Master Hoocher himself, MYL. I am honored, but I wanna here about some skank tying you to a bed and giving you an enema.... that's the real way to show love for this thread.

I have made porn movies in the past. Just call me Paris.
When VCR's first came out in the long time ago.... they came with a camera. The one we bought cost almost $600 and it came in 2 parts so you could carry the one part over your shoulder on a strap and video.

My kids were little and after they went to bed one night we got the idea to get risque. I went first and recorded this great piece of steamy, sexy, self pleasuring montage. I called hubby out to view my video and as we started watching together I noticed in the hall off to the left of the screen, the dog was watching me. We started to laugh at the perverted mongrel when he suddenly moved and there was my 2 yr old standing in his place, with his blanky. We were mortified. We ran in his room and checked and he was back in his bed sleeping...but that sure put a damper on the rest of our evening....oh, my old man tried to get me back in the mood, being the horny bastard that he is, but that was the last time we did anything like that with the kids in the house. The dog still watched tho.

[Ms. Tumnus]

Oh Chooch, THAT should have been your 500th post. It was awesome.

BTW, my "traditional" porn name would be Freako 14th Concession West.

Has a nice ring to it.

[minda07]

Ok there is a conversation going on in the gossip thread about Ron Jeremy. I have never seen one of his porno's, so my questions is this - Is it really as big as its played up to be! Would I get this face :eek: if I saw it?

[chooch850]

Not nearly as big as John Holmes was. He was the king, but Ron's is long & thick and he could keep a hard-on whereas JH couldn't keep it up ever. Just too big and just to much coke.

Ron Jeremy is famous for the movie "DEEP THROAT". It's classic porn.

[Jinger]

Not nearly as big as John Holmes was. He was the king, but Ron's is long & thick and he could keep a hard-on whereas JH couldn't keep it up ever. Just too big and just to much coke.

Ron Jeremy is famous for the movie "DEEP THROAT". It's classic porn.

Chooch...you're killin me!

[chooch850]

Chooch...you're killin me!

What...what'd I do..... I was asked a question and I answered it with the knowledge of having seen both mens dicks in movies. In the late '60's, Ron was #1 in porn. He was in every movie and some were pretty funny and he didn't look like he does now. He was like a porn Tom Selleck.

[iamalittleexplosion]

porn tom selleck. that's a hoot!

they probably carry deepthroat in the shops, right? it's a classic. i have to watch it just like i had to read wuthering heights.

[chooch850]

yes...I'm sure you can find it in the video store. It was the most talked about movie of it's time. I would love it if Flipit recapped it for us here on this thread..... although I don't think it's his kinda movie..... maybe we could get MYL to do it. Anyone out there interested in recapping or reviewing porn for us???

[Clair]

What...what'd I do..... I was asked a question and I answered it with the knowledge of having seen both mens dicks in movies. In the late '60's, Ron was #1 in porn. He was in every movie and some were pretty funny and he didn't look like he does now. He was like a porn Tom Selleck.

There's nothing wrong with liking porn. :tongue:

[Jinger]

What...what'd I do..... I was asked a question and I answered it with the knowledge of having seen both mens dicks in movies. In the late '60's, Ron was #1 in porn. He was in every movie and some were pretty funny and he didn't look like he does now. He was like a porn Tom Selleck.

Oh, you answered it and you are extremely knowledgable in regards to Ron J and JH's man parts and their functionality.

It just cracked me up...I meant you were killin me in a good way!

:lol: :lol:

[iamalittleexplosion]

ooo! a porn recap would by hysterical. or porno with commentary a la mystery science theater 3000.

[Karo]

Deep Throat was the second porn move I ever saw. The first was The Devil in Miss Jones. I watched them both in high school at my best friend's house along with her mother, father, aunt, uncle and boyfriend. We laughed up a storm at them and then the aunt went and tried to shove a banana down her throat and hurt herself.

My mom and dad never had a clue what was going on at Lori's house. I thought her parents, especially her mom, were the coolest ever. They gave us alcohol, too. Now that I'm a mother I would be horrified to find out that another parent was showing my daughter porn and giving her alcohol, but at the time I thought it was the best!!!

[tvaholic]

Going back to Tuesday Porn & Pizza night in my dorm back in, oh, '90 or '91, I failed to mention my roommate used my membership card at the video rental place. Over the summer I rec'd a bill for late fees on 2 movies she never returned-Deep Throat & The Devil In Miss Jones. My mom had a habit of "accidentally" opening up my mail..thank Rob that one made it thru unopened! (As far as I know!)

[may1]

Not nearly as big as John Holmes was. He was the king, but Ron's is long & thick and he could keep a hard-on whereas JH couldn't keep it up ever. Just too big and just to much coke.

Ron Jeremy is famous for the movie "DEEP THROAT". It's classic porn.

The movie I mentioned earlier, 'DICKMAN AND THROBBEN", starred both John Holmes and Ron Jeremy in their version of Batman and Robin.
I agree Chooch, Ron Jeremy looked waayy better in those days compared to now. Like you said, sort of Tom Sellick.

[ScotyUtah]

Broken noses, crabs in eyes, thunderous queefs... the perils of dealing with erotic strippers. Now add a detached retina to the list.

Back in my wild and crazy fraternity days we didn't play by the rules much. Dry rush? Yeah right. One event we threw was an innocuous mixer with Alpha Phi or AOPi, I can't remember which, but when the rushees were done meeting enough hot chicks to convince them we were the big shit fraternity we said we were, the deal was sealed with an "after party". The sorority ladies left and two new women were introduced - say hello to Anastasia and Amber!!
Of course there was a shady set up in the basement complete with laser light show and music. The A's as I'll now call them got immediatedly friendly with each other until the crowd was all worked up and then they busted out the toys. Hey, what's that Super Soaker for? Fill it with Vodka? Sure! One of the A's gets on her hands and knees and asks for a volunteer to lay on the ground, facing up into the void. The other A pumps up the super soaker and begins to fire Vodka into the "no-no" area, allowing it to flow downwards and eventually into the open mouth of the volunteer. Cooter shooters anyone!?!

Up next was the ping pong ball shooter. Nope, not one of those kids guns where you load up the ping pong balls to get shot off with a spring loaded mechaniism but in this instance the ping pong balls were stuffed away three at a time into "the void" and returned accurately and with frightening velocity to a specified target. Good show.

Then some more volunteers were asked to put strap-ons on their faces and dive in. One of the A's grabbed a paddle while this was going on and started beating ass as the dude was doing the strap-on face probe. More good show.

Finally the A's get back to lovin' on each other and one of them takes the time to peel a banana while her friend gets her ready with a king sized dildo. Jake Steed style, if Chooch really wants to know. One final volunteer is called out. Of course we pick out a potential pledge to do the deed and he is asked to "load the banana". I don't know what was expected to happen next but just after he was done with that task he started to back away when all of the sudden the banana shoots out like a blazing fast ball and hits him in the face. Well, not actually his face, more precisely, right in the eye. Poor kid hit the ground writhing in pain while holding his hand over his eye. Of course we're all dying of laughter but after a few minutes we thought it might be serious. His eye was in bad shape. We took him to the emergency room and found out the next day the banana shot heard round the world detached his retina. The laughter still hadn't died down...

[TinkerbellAPixie]

ooo! a porn recap would by hysterical.

Been there - done that. ;)

One event we threw was an innocuous mixer with Alpha Phi or AOPi

Hey - I'm an Alpha Phi - what were you?

And as for your poor unfortunate pledge, did he recover? And did he get anything special from the A's to make up for the injury?

[ScotyUtah]

Hey - I'm an Alpha Phi - what were you?

And as for your poor unfortunate pledge, did he recover? And did he get anything special from the A's to make up for the injury?

Sig Ep. The guy wasn't a pledge... yet. After the incident we felt obliged to give him a bid and he happily accepted it. :D

[flipit]

yes...I'm sure you can find it in the video store. It was the most talked about movie of it's time. I would love it if Flipit recapped it for us here on this thread..... although I don't think it's his kinda movie..... maybe we could get MYL to do it. Anyone out there interested in recapping or reviewing porn for us???

LOL with this thread. nice to see everyones inner perv run so wildly free. and wow a lot of people saw deepthroat. still haven't!!! i would love to recap some porn, but all i have on hand is "the cockfather" and it's in some other language. but hilarious.

chooch, i saw my parents doing it once and i thought for the longest time my dad was attacking my mom. thank God they didn't have the vcr/camera hookup to prove me wrong. i am screwed up enough.

:tongue:

[tvaholic]

Scoty, I never knew the cooter could be such a multi-tasker!

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

:lol:flipit! I want to meet your parents! Ha ha ha!!!!

Scoty, I don't have the words yet! LOL! I will, just not yet! Ha ha ha... :lol:

[chooch850]

In honor of your sexy, visual, story Scoty... I went out and bought bananas. Thanx for sharing...want one??.. I'll peel it for you !!!!1

Flipit, just because you haven't see Deep Throat, doesn't mean you're missing anything. If I remember correctly, Linda Lovelace's character had a "joy spot" in her throat that made her a very happy girl when she deep throated....I think.

"The Devil in Miss Jones" was considered the best porn movie ever made. It was the first time I ever saw anal sex and it was quite explicit. Of course my old man wanted to go home and try it..... but that's another story.

Porn is totally different now then it was before the internet. People planned parties around the newest films and usually they were on 8mm reels that you watched on a screen, not TV. Now it's everywhere. You have to protect your kids from it all the time....it's sad...... but that's what got Chris Hanson a steady job.

[zoobabe]

"The Devil in Miss Jones" was considered the best porn movie ever made. It was the first time I ever saw anal sex and it was quite explicit. Of course my old man wanted to go home and try it..... but that's another story.



I actually saw this movie
in high school
at the drive-in
I'll never forget it.:eek:

[campfiregirl]

I'm loaded. But hubby took the dog for a walk and I just want to say...YAY CHOOCHI loveya... Congrats.

[angiemarie]

Eye crabs, pelvis falling on your face, queefing the face, detached retinas. Who knew strippers were so dangerous.

I have a stripper story, it's not nearly as funny as the injury stories though. The first time I went to a bachelorette party at a male stripper revue, I think I was 23 years old. I didn't really want to go, but all the other girls were pretty gung-ho. The location was BYOB, so I immediately began doing shots, hoping to calm down my nerves. For the first hour or so, I managed to avoid the strippers and stay in the backround. Eventually, one the of the strippers noticed me being shy, and made a point to come over and dance in front of me. I just wanted him to go away, so I shoved a dollar bill into his g-string. He turned around and motioned for me to smack his ass. I was so nervous (and so drunk) that I smacked his ass way too hard, like I was a dominatrix. The smack was so loud, everyone heard it over the music. He turned and looked at me like I was insane. Every stripper "performed" 2-3 times that night. Every time he came back out, my handprint was visible on his ass! He never came back to bother me for the rest of the night though.

[chooch850]

Look at it this way Angie, he stopped humpin' his junk in your face, and you didn't end up with crabs in your eyes!!!1

[minda07]

This thread is so fucking funny! I love it!

Scoty - that story is so funny - I had so many visuals - I would have laughed too!

Angie - Thats what strippers get for asking drunk girls to slap their ass!

[Ms. Tumnus]

OMR!!!!!!!!!!!1 I feel so innocent.

We are sorely lacking in male strip joints in this town. the only one that I know of closed down a few years ago. Gotta go to Montreal to check that shit out.

[chooch850]

We hired male strippers to come to our bar for a Saturday nite. It was women only. (a lot of bf and hubby's were po'd) There were 5 guys and they were really nice. We gave them a room behind our dining room as a dressing room. Garbage bags had to be put over all the windows. Each one performed their own act. I have never seen women of every age go so absolutely crazy. We made more money in this one nite than we ever did with any band or other event. This one guy, Louie, hadn't seen me all nite (I was tending the bar) so he comes out in just his so-called g-string and jumps up on the bar and does the best dance I ever saw by a naked guy.... JUST FOR ME. I went to pay him later (he was the ringleader) and couldn't find him. He was in that room behind the dining room "tossing salads" for $25 each. Him and the guys had been doing it all nite for extra money. Some of the women who ended up back their were so-called prominent in the community. Wish I'd had a nanny cam.

[tvaholic]

Ok, who's up for a happy hour up by chooch's bar?? Ladies? Wow. I'm just glad I saw that Oprah episode that explained what "tossing salad" means.

[Karo]

Ok, who's up for a happy hour up by chooch's bar?? Ladies? Wow. I'm just glad I saw that Oprah episode that explained what "tossing salad" means.

Well, I didn't see that Oprah. What does it mean?

[Clair]

I had to go look it up (Urban Dictionary) . :eek: :scared: :ohmy:

[minda07]

OMR!!!!!!! I had to look it up too! :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

[chooch850]

Well, I didn't see that Oprah. What does it mean?


It's basically butt licking with dressing. They used my jug of catalina from the back kitchen. It left kinda a mess, but Louie gave me $50 to give the cleaning lady... she didn't know what it was from.:D

[RachWho?]

Okay, I knew what tossing a salad was, and I loved the story, Chooch. Is a good turn for this thread to throw out more terms and see who knows them and who doesn't? I've got a few, but they are really gross. My friends are just disgusting, vile people. Maybe I'd better keep them to myself.

[Jinger]

Okay, I knew what tossing a salad was, and I loved the story, Chooch. Is a good turn for this thread to throw out more terms and see who knows them and who doesn't? I've got a few, but they are really gross. My friends are just disgusting, vile people. Maybe I'd better keep them to myself.

C'mon Rach...seriously, can it be any more disgusting or vile than some of this other stuff!? We lorve disgusting and vile - don't we people!?!?!?

All I can think of is T-Baggin....hey, I wonder...? Nah!

[minda07]

Ok - I got one for everyone - feltching!:lol:

[RachWho?]

Jinger--T-Bagging always makes me think of the movie "Pecker"--or of a certain pecker around these parts.

I know felching Minda! I mean, not personally.

I'll add a couple: Rusty Trombone and Dirty Sanchez!

[chooch850]

Ok - I got one for everyone - feltching!:lol:



:scared: Minda, you suprised the hell outta me with that one..... and I thought you were so sweet. You just proved you truley are a Hoochie.

Feltching is one of the nastiest sex acts and NO I NEVER did that one !!!!!!1

I will let you tell what it is but if you don't want to..I will

[minda07]

:scared: Minda, you suprised the hell outta me with that one..... and I thought you were so sweet. You just proved you truley are a Hoochie.

Feltching is one of the nastiest sex acts and NO I NEVER did that one !!!!!!1

I will let you tell what it is but if you don't want to..I will

This is the best day ever - chooch just called me a hooch! Here is a link to what it is as I have found no gentle way of putting it: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=feltching

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

Can I play?

Anyone ever heard of a "blumpkin"?

It's one of the grossest things I've ever heard of. Yet it makes me laugh!:lol:

[flipit]

d

Porn is totally different now then it was before the internet. People planned parties around the newest films and usually they were on 8mm reels that you watched on a screen, not TV. Now it's everywhere. You have to protect your kids from it all the time....it's sad...... but that's what got Chris Hanson a steady job.

you had parties? seriously? while reading this thread my mom called three times and i hit ignore. you have raised WAY too many questions that i don't know i want the answers to.

He turned around and motioned for me to smack his ass. I was so nervous (and so drunk) that I smacked his ass way too hard, like I was a dominatrix. The smack was so loud, everyone heard it over the music. He turned and looked at me like I was insane. Every stripper "performed" 2-3 times that night. Every time he came back out, my handprint was visible on his ass! He never came back to bother me for the rest of the night though.

i am still LMAO. i don't want strippers coming over to me either. they smell like Rite-Aid cologne and old ladies hands covered in hand washing liquid. i've made it this far with clean sexual health, i'm not about to get crabs in my eyes from some pass around.

It's basically butt licking with dressing. They used my jug of catalina from the back kitchen. It left kinda a mess, but Louie gave me $50 to give the cleaning lady... she didn't know what it was from.:D

that description is f***ing HILARIOUS. with dressing? who told you that? and even better that everyone just bought that explanation and pulled out a jar of it!!! LOLOLLLLLLL. i like blue cheese, so you're lucky i wasn't there. the maid would have quit. next time ditch the dressing and pop an altoid instead. EEEWWWWWWWWW

[minda07]

Can I play?

Anyone ever heard of a "blumpkin"?

It's one of the grossest things I've ever heard of. Yet it makes me laugh!:lol:

When I looked this up, I just let out the biggest laugh ever! Now everyone is looking at me!

[Karo]

Okay, I honestly just gagged while reading the definition of feltching.

The gasmii are a sick, sick bunch of people. And what's really sad is we've had similar conversations before (when the dirty Sanchez did come up).

I've learned things on this web site that I really wish I didn't know....:sad:

Keep 'em coming, though!

[chooch850]

d

you had parties? seriously? while reading this thread my mom called three times and i hit ignore. you have raised WAY too many questions that i don't know i want the answers to.



i am still LMAO. i don't want strippers coming over to me either. they smell like Rite-Aid cologne and old ladies hands covered in hand washing liquid. i've made it this far with clean sexual health, i'm not about to get crabs in my eyes from some pass around.



that description is f***ing HILARIOUS. with dressing? who told you that? and even better that everyone just bought that explanation and pulled out a jar of it!!! LOLOLLLLLLL. i like blue cheese, so you're lucky i wasn't there. the maid would have quit. next time ditch the dressing and pop an altoid instead. EEEWWWWWWWWW


You can go there Flipit... I will tell ya what's what. Maybe you should have answered your mom's calls... maybe she's had the same kind of parties... ya never know until ya ask.

As for the tossed salad , what I meant by the reference was he was goin' down on 'em for $25, but when the girls asked what I meant... I made it a little more interesting..... and added the dressing. I apologize Hoochies, there was no dressing, but we did give the cleaning lady an extra fifty bucks, but only because some one puked big-time in the john. I won't embellish again. Flipit will call me out on it.

Keep the words coming. I'm a firm believer in advancing ones education.

[photochild]

You can go there Flipit... I will tell ya what's what. Maybe you should have answered your mom's calls... maybe she's had the same kind of parties... ya never know until ya ask.

As for the tossed salad , what I meant by the reference was he was goin' down on 'em for $25, but when the girls asked what I meant... I made it a little more interesting..... and added the dressing. I apologize Hoochies, there was no dressing, but we did give the cleaning lady an extra fifty bucks, but only because some one puked big-time in the john. I won't embellish again. Flipit will call me out on it.

Keep the words coming. I'm a firm believer in advancing ones education.


I was wondering about that. I thought maybe the guys were extra hungry. Or wanted a better after-taste. All the tossing of salads I've been witness to were sans dressing.

One of the oddest conversations I've ever had was explaining to my preacher dad what fisting was. We watched Borat and after that scene with the fisting in the shower my dad said "that gives the term fisting a whole new definition." I had to explain that that already was the definition.

[flipit]

we did give the cleaning lady an extra fifty bucks, but only because some one puked big-time in the john. I won't embellish again. Flipit will call me out on it.


hahahaaaa please embellish! i have told that story to three people since i read it! you are one funny woman chooch. i just don't want any of the girls to try dressing at home and waste perfectly good sheets. those things don't grow on trees.

was it a stripper that puked?

and blumpkin? i laughed for five minutes, but:eek: i am officially never having sex again.

[minda07]

i am officially never having sex again.

I call shenanigans on that statement!

[ScotyUtah]

All I can think of is T-Baggin....hey, I wonder...? Nah!

I prefer to give the Arabian Goggles and follow that up with the Cincinnati Bowtie. It's a money combo.

[RachWho?]

I prefer to give the Arabian Goggles and follow that up with the Cincinnati Bowtie. It's a money combo.

Oh shit! I forgot about the Cincinnati Bowtie! No sex act should be named after that hellhole.

[ScotyUtah]

Oh shit! I forgot about the Cincinnati Bowtie! No sex act should be named after that hellhole.

That's up for debate. All the seriously NASTY fetish craziness gets named after some quality locales. Case in point:

Detroit Stir-Fry
Topeka Destroyer
Des Moines Surprise
Birmingham Booty Call
Boston Pancake

[chooch850]

I'm a fussy bitch. I didn't want a guy sittin' on my face for any reason. There's nothing worse then a sack of sweaty, hairy nads cuttin' off my air while his butthole smells like, well, a butthole. But, if he wanted me to sit on his face.... now that's different, especially if his beard was nice and soft.

*those were the days my friend....we thought they'd never end....*..:blush:

[tvaholic]

Wow, I leave here to go back to go work...this is way more interesting! chooch, you are the queen of bullshit & I love it! I think it would have made for a more interesting Oprah show if that's really what tossing a salad was, could you see her explaining that to her audience??

Ok Scoty, are these actual terms or phrases you came up with while visiting these places??

And I'm not sure how I feel now that I know what feltching means...:ohmy:

[RachWho?]

Wow, I leave here to go back to go work...this is way more interesting! chooch, you are the queen of bullshit & I love it! I think it would have made for a more interesting Oprah show if that's really what tossing a salad was, could you see her explaining that to her audience??

Ok Scoty, are these actual terms or phrases you came up with while visiting these places??

And I'm not sure how I feel now that I know what feltching means...:ohmy:

TVaholic--you just became obsessed and you didn't even know it! Congrats! :D

[Jinger]

*those were the days my friend....we thought they'd never end....*..:blush:

*...we'd sing and dance, forever and a day...*

TVaholic--you just became obsessed and you didn't even know it! Congrats! :D

Razzle fuckin dazzle! You should go out and celebrate tonight with some hot 22 year old, eh!?:tongue:

[chooch850]

*...we'd sing and dance, forever and a day...*






Razzle fuckin dazzle! You should go out and celebrate tonight with some hot 22 year old, eh!?:tongue:


*... we'd live the life we choose.... we'd fight and never lose...*

WOW TVAHOLIC.... you became OBSESSED here !!!!!1 I am honored.

We should have an Obsessed party, but we need to wait for Julie and Giffordsaz to catch up. Come on Girls.... we're waitin' for ya.

[RachWho?]

*... we'd live the life we choose.... we'd fight and never lose...*

WOW TVAHOLIC.... you became OBSESSED here !!!!!1 I am honored.

We should have an Obsessed party, but we need to wait for Julie and Giffordsaz to catch up. Come on Girls.... we're waitin' for ya.

HELL YES! Can we have chocolate covered peeps?

And I ain't talking about the marshmallow kind :tonguewag:

[tvaholic]

TVaholic--you just became obsessed and you didn't even know it! Congrats! :D

Hey, check it out, thanks Rach! Right back atcha babe!


Razzle fuckin dazzle! You should go out and celebrate tonight with some hot 22 year old, eh!?:tongue:

Oh how nice it would be..all this sex talk in chooch's thread...I may attack the first unsuspecting vic-er, I mean, guy, I see this weekend!




WOW TVAHOLIC.... you became OBSESSED here !!!!!1 I am honored.

We should have an Obsessed party, but we need to wait for Julie and Giffordsaz to catch up. Come on Girls.... we're waitin' for ya.
I am the honored one-to ba labeled "Obsessed" while in a thread mainly about porn, suh-weet! Jinger, you gotta catch up too! I smell more drunk posting this weekend, whaddya say?
HELL YES! Can we have chocolate covered peeps?

And I ain't talking about the marshmallow kind :tonguewag:

And again back around to two of my favorite things...:w00t:

[jampony]

I am the honored one-to ba labeled "Obsessed" while in a thread mainly about porn, suh-weet! Jinger, you gotta catch up too! I smell more drunk posting this weekend, whaddya say?
I'm almost afraid to ask, what does drunk posting smell like?

Okay, that was lame. I have to be totally honest here. I have absolutely nothing to add to this thread but it looked like everyone was having so much fun I wanted to be part of it, too. And I wanted to make sure I was "subscribed" to it because I don't want to miss a thing!

[tvaholic]

I'm almost afraid to ask, what does drunk posting smell like?


Hmmm....last weekend just Miller Lite, smokey bar, and the bitter sexual frustration!!! You know what I need for this weekend? UPGRADE!!!:D

[RachWho?]

Hmmm....last weekend just Miller Lite, smokey bar, and the bitter sexual frustration!!! You know what I need for this weekend? UPGRADE!!!:D

And the upgrade would be? Whiskey on the rocks, cigar-filled lounge, and quiet sexual dissatisfaction at a job not well-done? At least it's more civilized. But also more expensive.

[may1]

This thread is killing me!!!
I feel very naive that I didn't know any of those terms Scoty referenced. Got sick reading many of the definitions:sad:
The stripper's stories are too funny. Scoty, I love the term "void" and how f'in big are these girls voids, that they can fit tennis balls, etc. Oh my Rob.

Hey flipit, does your name have a kinky meaning? Just wondering.

[may1]

Congrat's tvaholic!!!!!!!!!
What a thread to become obsessed on.

[chooch850]

For my hubby's 35th birthday, I planned this elaborate party. Since we had our own bar, it was to be held there. 75 people were invited and I left my friend Orin in charge of getting a stripper. My husband is a great cook and really good at planing parties, so I really neede his help, but the party had to be a suprise or he would NEVER go for it. So I concocted this tale about my friend Marty wanting a party for her boyfriend. They went along with it. Hubby spent 2 days cooking all this great food and setting up the diningroom to accommondate the guests as well as a place for the stripper to perform. The big day came and Orin, the idiot got a prostitute instead of a stripper and she wanted $200 an hour. I sent the skank packing. Now I had no stripper. Of couse I went to hubby with my dilemma. He got on the phone and had a professional stripper there within the hour. The place filled with people and we started bringing out food, buffet-style. Hubby was working his ass off. I called him out to the diningroom finally, under the ruse that the beer tap was not working. When he came out, the crowd cheered and the stripper pulled him to center stage and proceeded to sing "Happy Birthday" all the while performing this very erotic lap dance. The whole thing was priceless.... and the food was terrific.

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

LOL! Chooch! A hooker, lmao!

That sounds like a great freakin' bar BTW!

[may1]

Chooch, your hubby got a stripper there in less than an hour? Wow, I would hope it would take my hubby a hell of a lot longer.
You two sound like a fun couple.

[chooch850]

We had a lot of good times in our younger years. We did alot of partying and met alot of great and unique people in the process. We had bikers for customers. Two different clubs. After the bar would close for the night, we went to their clubhouse to party. I saw many things there. I would not change a thing in my life (except smoking). I don't own the bar anymore, my sister-in-law does. She runs it nothing like we did. She thinks you should make money.LOL. Many of the things we did were before we had kids. I had my first son at 29. We ran that bar from 1977-2000 and many good and fun things happened there. But many bad and tragic things also happened.

My hubby lives in Fla. now.... I was suppose to move there with him and decided to stay here while the kids finished school. Little did I know, he had a gf and moved her in. Broke my heart. That was 7 yrs ago. He realizes now he made a mistake.... I love him but will never live with him again. We get along great this way and are still married. He is my one and only love. I have been with him since we were both 14. I will die his wife. Now you guys know.

[tvaholic]

And the upgrade would be? Whiskey on the rocks, cigar-filled lounge, and quiet sexual dissatisfaction at a job not well-done? At least it's more civilized. But also more expensive.

Rach you crack me up! But , I don't drink whiskey, how about red wine?

[tvaholic]

Wow chooch, you are amazing. I don't think I could be as mature as you about the whole thing-in fact, speaking from personal experience, I know I couldn't!

[RachWho?]

Rach you crack me up! But , I don't drink whiskey, how about red wine?

That's the next upgrade--a nice Cabernet, smokeless wine bar, and a great lay, FINALLY! :)

[campfiregirl]

Chooch- you are amazing. I'm glad you told your story, I had to admit I was curious why he was in Florida. Glad to know that the love is not gone. Your the best.:flowers:

[Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict]

:) chooch! Thank you for sharing your story, you're an amazing lady! You should write a book, you have so many funny stories about your bar! :D

[lennonwhore]

chooch, you.re an amazing and strong woman! I would love to drink a bottle of booze with you and hear all your stories!!

(of course I would be smoking, so maybe I.ll sit outside and you tell me your stories through the window)

and BOO to all the wine drinkers! wine gives me a headache and makes me want to murder puppies the morning after.

[chooch850]

Hoochies... thanks for being nice to a dumb old lady. But remember girls....I have 16 cats...



Ok....now on to " the sex position of the week". Everyone should give it a try.

http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/sex/spow

[lennonwhore]

A) you got a little excited and posted one extra http:// in the addy

B) i would break my neck doing that! (it doesn.t mean i.m not willing to try, though!)

[may1]

Hoochies... thanks for being nice to a dumb old lady. But remember girls....I have 16 cats...



Ok....now on to " the sex position of the week". Everyone should give it a try.

http://magazines.ivillage.com/cosmopolitan/sex/spow

Chooch, you're a hell of a wonderful woman, and I'm glad to know you. I'd love to sit and talk with you one day. You are not an old lady, I'm coming up on 50 this year. And I love cats..

On the the sex position = been there, done that.:tongue:

[chooch850]

Does anyone still do it in the backseat of a car???

[lennonwhore]

*raises hand*

[RachWho?]

Chooch, thanks for sharing your story--I've wondered since you mentioned that you and your husband live separately. I can't wait to hear more from you--you are incredible!

As far as doing it in the back of the car--but of course!

[photochild]

Chooch, I'm glad to hear that story. I'm glad that even though you've been through a lot of shit you're still one cool lady. And I have to agree, I'd love to sit and talk over a few bottles of booze and hear your stories. I feel you'd be a cool person to get advice from.

And I have had sex in the back of a car, but it's been a long time.

[minda07]

Sorry Chooch, but your thread is getting too sappy! So where is the strangest place you ever had sex????? Come on people we need to whore this thread up again!

[photochild]

Sorry Chooch, but your thread is getting too sappy! So where is the strangest place you ever had sex????? Come on people we need to whore this thread up again!

In some one's front yard. I have so many answers to this question, but it'll take a few drinks to get me to spill the beans.

[minda07]

In some one's front yard. I have so many answers to this question, but it'll take a few drinks to get me to spill the beans.

So that was you! If it happened in Florida then I saw you have sex on my lawn - if it wasn't you to bad cause I got a great look at the guy and he was hot!

Mine is late night at the swimming pool at a Disney hotel :eek:

[tvaholic]

Let's see, there was right field of a softball diamond-don't worry, it was at night so it's not like there was a game going on at the time! In the car in a parking lot of a cemetery & also on his grandmother's lawn. You wouldn't believe how busy the cemetery parking lot was that night, that's why we had to settle in under a big tree at Grandma's! So PC, which is worse, on a stranger's lawn or granny's??:blush: And minda, who was it with, Mickey? Goofy? Donald?? Hee hee!:tonguewag:

[photochild]

Let's see, there was right field of a softball diamond-don't worry, it was at night so it's not like there was a game going on at the time! In the car in a parking lot of a cemetery & also on his grandmother's lawn. You wouldn't believe how busy the cemetery parking lot was that night, that's why we had to settle in under a big tree at Grandma's! So PC, which is worse, on a stranger's lawn or granny's??:blush: And minda, who was it with, Mickey? Goofy? Donald?? Hee hee!:tonguewag:

How about in a cemetary? And I'm going to regret saying that...but it did not happen how it sounds.

[chooch850]

I really had to think about this one. We had this really big chest freezer in our back kitchen. Hubby and I used that quite a few times. Fucking at work is always risky and the fact that you could get caught makes it more fun. We used the pool table once in a while after closing, but I'd have to say that the most romantic and exciting place was on the roof of the bar. It was a beautiful day and we had just finished tarring down some shingles that had loosened up during a storm, causing a leak. The bar is an old hotel that is 3 stories high and it's right on the corner on Main St. You can see everything that's going on in town from up there. It's great on Halloween 'cuz you can dive-bomb people with eggs and they can't get you. We did our thing in broad daylight from up there, all the while people are getting their mail, pumping gas and talking on the corner. The pidgeons were the only witnesses to our lovefest. (shitty little bastards... they don't care what they peck or poop on). Afterwards, we went downstairs and made ourselves a wonderful steak dinner, all the while giggling about what we had just done. Everyone thought we went up on the roof just to get high and didn't want to hafta share. Those customers really needed to get a life.

[Pekmboyd]

On an elementary school soccer field. :whistling: :blush:

[RachWho?]

Once we were hiking in Albuquerque and the trail was pretty deserted, so we hopped off to the side for a quickie. RIGHT after we re-robed, two hikers came up behind us. We are really pretty suspicious to this day that they came upon us in the act and waited us out and then came around the corner when it was all finished.

[tvaholic]

How about in a cemetary? And I'm going to regret saying that...but it did not happen how it sounds.

I guess I'm kind of morbid but that kind of rocks! I'm into scary movies & stuff, & I'm sure it's against someone's religion, but it also sounds like a scene from a horror movie! That didn't sound right, but you know what I mean!

chooch, I hope the pigeons didn't peck anything important!

[chooch850]

Girls... I need to here more about this cemetary sex.... details, I need details.

[giffordsaz]

Did Chooch say Sedimentary Sex... 'cause I think I had some of that last week.

[photochild]

Girls... I need to here more about this cemetary sex.... details, I need details.

LOL. Well my story is not as exciting as it sounds. But I'll make it sound like a good story.

It was freshman year of college, my roommate was studying for an exam and my boyfriend had 2 idiodic roommates. So private time in either dorm was out so we went on a walk. It was a beautiful night. Warm, but not hot and no cold wind. We were walking around Fredericksburg, VA, and had taken streets we didn't know. We started walking through this park, and he started getting grabby so we went between some trees (this was really late at night, no one around) and got our business done. As we were walking out we realized that on the other side of the path there were graves. We were not on any or really near any, we were under a bunch of trees and there were too many roots for anything to have been buried there. We comforted ourselves with that thought. It was a fun night.

[chooch850]

That's a great "Tales from the Crypt" type tale PC. Our Civil War soldiers were watching you.... probably singing 'I wish I was in Dixie'. Did you happen to hear anything like that???

[giffordsaz]

yep, that must have been the hanging tree.... bet there were a lot of ghosts watching.

My husband accidentally did the same thing kinda.... he proposed at a cemetery.... He decided because we were nowhere near any special spot to either of us he would propose marriage at a 'road side rest area'... his feeling is it would represent all rest areas and when we saw one we could remember...... So between Wichita Falls, Texas and Altus, Oklahoma some where near Vernon, Texas I was proposed too.... on what was the Chisolm Trail... quaint.... he sat at a picnic table and laid out the rest of my life and then we walked 15 feet back to a split rail fence to watch the sunset... (yeah, he's good) and as we looked down there were graves of many who had died on that spot on the Chisolm Trial... a cemetery.........kinda reminds me every time we drive by a cemetery too.... So we get back on the motorcycle and he stops at every Road side Rest area and asked me again... until we got back to my town... I think it was three times!!

[giffordsaz]

okay, sorry that was sappy in the XXX thread...
we had sex on that motorcycle too... in a park.
and in a Crysler Cordova... driving from Lawton to Altus OK...
front seat, he was driving...
those were the good ole days.

[chooch850]

Is this your wedding song?

I woke up one morning on the Old Chisolm Trail,
Rope in my hand and cow by the tail.
Come ti yi youpy, youpa ya, youpa ya,
Come ti yi youpy, youpy ya.

Come along, boys, and listen to my tale;
I'll tell you of my troubles on the old Chisolm Trail.
Come ti yi youpy, youpy ya, youpy ya,
Come ti yi youpy, youpy ya.


......sex on a motorcycle can be very dangerous. They tend to tip over.:ohmy:

[giffordsaz]

Is this your wedding song?

I woke up one morning on the Old Chisolm Trail,
Rope in my hand and cow by the tail.

Come along, boys, and listen to my tale;
I'll tell you of my troubles on the old Chisolm Trail.

......sex on a motorcycle can be very dangerous. They tend to tip over.:ohmy:


Wow, they have songs about that trail!!! It sould have been or song ... but my trail has been good...

the sex on the bike would have to be defined.....
I think oral is sex sooo..........
It was in a time and place where we were doing it everywhere... kinda like rabbits......
We did it on the top of a Mesa in Oklahoma next to Lake Altus. Daylight, hiking... closer to winter than warm because we did not want to run into any snakes..... but the sun was warm and the rocks on my backside were , other than hard.... warm too........... some one has to know about these places besides me....

[chooch850]

Sex was so much fun when you could do it all the time like rabbits...... ahhhh, the memories!!!!

Clinton said that oral is NOT sex. It's in the history books.

[minda07]

Clinton said that oral is NOT sex. It's in the history books.

and therefor not part of my "number"!

[flipit]

if we aren't counting bjs i have a lot of notches on my bedpost to fill in. :( sad horns

[chooch850]

if we aren't counting bjs i have a lot of notches on my bedpost to fill in. :( sad horns

I just hope you were the recipient of those BJ's.... they are no fun if you don't get something in return.

[minda07]

I just hope you were the recipient of those BJ's.... they are no fun if you don't get something in return.

Exactly!!!!!!!!!1

Oh I almost forgot, Saturday night I went to a local Irish pub because the owner is really nice and there is free pool and three drinks will run ya about $11.00! Anyways, I needed to relieve myself and headed to the little girls room. There are only two stalls and it is a 8x9 room - tiny! I hear moaning and see one set of guys feet facing the wrong way. I stopped to listen in for a minute and then decide that my need to pee greatly out number their need to climax so I went in the stall and did my business. They kept up there business as well and while washing my hands they finished and I clapped! When I came back I had to tell everyone what I just witnessed and when we all turn to look to see who was coming out of the bathroom he bowed and she curtsied! They were really proud - I wanted to tell her she sounded like a fire engine about to die and he grunted like a pig, but I didn't!

[supermarketgirl]

I have a few strange places:
an elevator
a lighthouse
a laundry room
a public staircase
the subway
boys locker room in my college (NCAA locker room, which I thought was SOOO cool at the time)
outside all time time: parks, trails, cemetery (but it was in New England, so there are cemeteries everywhere. It really wasn't like a HUGE cemetery with ghosts and exciting stuff)
chooch! - we have something in common:
roof of my dorm
roof of my first apartment
roof of my second apartment (at that point we HAD to)
the beach all the time (we live there)

I feel like this is a spitting contest or something...most of these were longer ago then I'd like to think though! Lately the most exciting place is the sofa. But, whatever, at least we still do it, right? ;)

[giffordsaz]

I feel like this is a spitting contest or something...most of these were longer ago then I'd like to think though! Lately the most exciting place is the sofa. But, whatever, at least we still do it, right? ;)

And then you have a cig right?.... 'cause smoking is the way to finish the amazing high of sex>:sad:<

[chooch850]

And then you have a cig right?.... 'cause smoking is the way to finish the amazing high of sex>:sad:<

..... that's why I don't smoke anymore.

[angiemarie]

I have a few strange places:
an elevator
a lighthouse
a laundry room
a public staircase
the subway
boys locker room in my college (NCAA locker room, which I thought was SOOO cool at the time)
outside all time time: parks, trails, cemetery (but it was in New England, so there are cemeteries everywhere. It really wasn't like a HUGE cemetery with ghosts and exciting stuff)
chooch! - we have something in common:
roof of my dorm
roof of my first apartment
roof of my second apartment (at that point we HAD to)
the beach all the time (we live there)



SMG, and I mean this in the nicest possible way, you are a superfreak! ;)

[chooch850]

I always wanted to do it in the elevator, ever since I saw that scene in "Dressed to Kill". How'd you manage that one supermarketgirl? We like details in this thread.

.....and roof sex has to be my favorite... you are above it all, kinda like the Greek gods of mythology.

[supermarketgirl]

The elevator was my junior year of college. Supermarketboy and I were coming home from a night out partying in NYC, and we lived in the same dorm. It was about 3:30 or 4 in the morning (I was VERY drunk). We signed into the dorm, all kissy and touchy feely like, got in the elevator and started making out. I accidently bumped the emergency stop button, and the elevator stopped. We were young and drunk, and just kept going. Supermarketboy was very drunk, and about 6 minutes later, it was all over. So we straighten ourselves out, and about 30 SECONDS later, we hear voice over the speaker say "just press the emergency stop button again if this is not an emergency." We pressed it again, it dropped us off on our floor, and we went to bed, still drunk and not really thinking about it.

The next morning on my way to breakfast I look up and notice this incredibly obvious security camera in the elevator, watching everything I was doing. I later found out that the emergency stop button in the elevator just stopped it and alerted campus security that there was a problem. They then looked at their fancy security screens and assessed the situation to see if it was an actual emergency.

So, yeah, there is a possible sex tape out there of me in an elevator.

[chooch850]

Oh, that's a great story. You gave me a good laugh. Should we call you Paris now??... no, I would never insult you like that. Thanks for making my day.

[minda07]

smg - I can just picture your face in the morning seeing the camera. At least the security guy let you finish!

[chooch850]

How many of you really enjoy drunken sex??? I got pregnant the first time having drunken sex. I was the sloppy-ass drunken slut who had spent the evening doing shots at the bar trying to drink this guy under the table. First to puke is the loser. He barfed first, but I was right behind him. It was a proud day indeed. My old man poured me into the car and drove me home. I rode with my head out the window all the way there, spit strings flappin' in the breeze. I was one hot and sexy bitch. Hubby was not one to pass up a piece of ass, so he just didn't kiss me, a regular Prince Charming, he was. Now everytime I look at my first born, the carbon copy of my mate, I am reminded of one thing..... don't DRINK & FUCK..... ya never know what you'll end up with.

[minda07]

How many of you really enjoy drunken sex??? I got pregnant the first time having drunken sex. I was the sloppy-ass drunken slut who had spent the evening doing shots at the bar trying to drink this guy under the table. First to puke is the loser. He barfed first, but I was right behind him. It was a proud day indeed. My old man poured me into the car and drove me home. I rode with my head out the window all the way there, spit strings flappin' in the breeze. I was one hot and sexy bitch. Hubby was not one to pass up a piece of ass, so he just didn't kiss me, a regular Prince Charming, he was. Now everytime I look at my first born, the carbon copy of my mate, I am reminded of one thing..... don't DRINK & FUCK..... ya never know what you'll end up with.

Cooch - this is a great lesson - I have done this, and it is never good - Don't drink and fuck. Now tomorrow I expect a new lesson!

[RachWho?]

I don't even remember most of my drunken sexcapades. But that's where all notches from pretty, pretty boys who are so stupid that I never would have hookes up with them otherwise came from. And since I didn't get any Rachlets or crotch critters out of the shenanigans, and I had good stories to tell afterwards, I figure it was worth it.

[photochild]

I've had a few drunken experiences. But nothing too crazy. I'm pretty good about not just hopping in bed cuz I'm drunk. Some guy asked me today if I get horny when I drink. I think he was hoping I'd say yes because we're supposed to go get drinks tonight (though I'm rethinking that). I told him no. I sure as hell don't get horny with him around. Anyway, In my "young" years (I know, I'm still young) I made some dumb mistakes, but luckily came out of it okay.

[lennonwhore]

i never really enjoy drunk sex as much as i think i.m going to like it, and i usually end up being so drunk i fall over...

smg, your story made me laugh so hard it scared my dog.

[may1]

I've never enjoyed drunk sex. When drunk and I lay down I always get room spin, and throw up.
These stories are too funny.
Chooch, you're my girl!

[Pekmboyd]

Hubby encourages me to drink - I'm less inhibited. He gets a twinkle in his eye whenever I pick up a drink.

[chooch850]

Hubby encourages me to drink - I'm less inhibited. He gets a twinkle in his eye whenever I pick up a drink.


Hey Pem, a couple a cocktails or a glass of vino to loosen the mood, is what drinking is all about. It can be soooo romantic too. :wub:

[lbs30]

How many of you really enjoy drunken sex??? I got pregnant the first time having drunken sex. I was the sloppy-ass drunken slut who had spent the evening doing shots at the bar trying to drink this guy under the table. First to puke is the loser. He barfed first, but I was right behind him. It was a proud day indeed. My old man poured me into the car and drove me home. I rode with my head out the window all the way there, spit strings flappin' in the breeze. I was one hot and sexy bitch. Hubby was not one to pass up a piece of ass, so he just didn't kiss me, a regular Prince Charming, he was. Now everytime I look at my first born, the carbon copy of my mate, I am reminded of one thing..... don't DRINK & FUCK..... ya never know what you'll end up with.

Too true chooch - drunken sex is how we got our little orange belt. We took our best friend up to a Penguins game for his b'day. Dinner & Drinks before, drinks during the game (I still hate the fact I live 5 minutes from PA and we can't get YuengLing here), and after.
6 weeks later I got the little + sign.

[zoobabe]

if drunken sex leads to pregnancy, I must be infertile.:tongue_smilie:

[Ms. Tumnus]

I just hope you were the recipient of those BJ's.... they are no fun if you don't get something in return.

I wouldn't say NO fun...

How many of you really enjoy drunken sex???

Depends on the partner and the level of drunkenness. I'm with Pek and Chooch; A little "buzz" is good, rip-roaring sloshed, not so much.

[Jinger]

CHOOCH!!! You filthy whore, where are you when I need you?!?!?

For the record, I've had amazing drunken sex, but also some that was pretty horrible...

I think horrible drunken sex can be made amazing by really good morning sex.

Tonight, I'll be having NEITHER!! WTF?!?!

Well, I take that back...one of my bootie calls has been blowin up the celly yo, but it's about 45 min drive, I am not that desperate, but may be in the morning...

[chooch850]

Jinger... thanks so much for callin' me a whore. I haven't been called that in years.

ZB.... if I was you, I'd have to take advantage of that fact. (You can have one of my kids, I have an extra.)

Ms. T.... I used to like giving bj's, but when it became expected instead of appreciated, it stopped being fun. That's when I started making sure that if I gave, I got.

LBS..... what is YuengLing exactly????

[lennonwhore]

LBS..... what is YuengLing exactly????

i know i.m not lbs, but its a really good beer. its only distributed on the eastern coast, but its worth drinking if you ever get the chance.

[Ms. Tumnus]

Ha! Jinger, I love that you have more than one booty-call.

[Jinger]

Jinger... thanks so much for callin' me a whore. I haven't been called that in years.

Well what better thread to call you a whore than this one! LOL!!

Ha! Jinger, I love that you have more than one booty-call.

I am a pack rat, never get rid of something til you're sure you'll never need it again...I call them my "farm team" and every now and again when there aren't any prospective new players to sign I gotta bring one of my AAA boys back into the game!

[lbs30]

LBS..... what is YuengLing exactly????

i know i.m not lbs, but its a really good beer. its only distributed on the eastern coast, but its worth drinking if you ever get the chance.

Thanks LW, yep - really good beer.
It's brewed at a small distributor in PA, certain areas can carry it (Virginia and Maryland) but others can't (WV)

If you ever see it, you gotta try it.

[photochild]

The forii is dead. So I'll post a story to Chooch's thread. But first, Yeungling is my favorite beer of all time. And I was raised to like good beer. After my first college party I told my dad I had Natty Light and he got mad, not because I was drinking illegally but because I drank "weasel piss" as he calls it.

Anywho, I thought of another place I've done the dirty. In the baseball field at Thomas Jefferson High School...which is a smart people science school (I pride myself on having taken high school classes there in 8th grade). Anywho, we were driving around and being immature and pulled into a road that deadended on their fields, so we hopped the fence and went to the dug out. It was fun. That's when summer was fun and free.

[chooch850]

Sports and sex seem to go together sometimes. Thanks for the story PC.

I volunteered at the Buffalo Bills Stadium every year running a food and beer stand to make money for our high school. One year we had an extremely warm sunday game at 1pm. It was hot and we were really selling the beer and bottled water. The 3rd quarter was almost over and this huge group of security went busting through the crowds, running to the 3rd tier (the nose-bleed section). Since we were done selling beer (stops at half time) I let the kids go see what was going on. They soon returned with their report. A young couple had grown bored with the game and had decided to entertain themselves in a much more pleasurable way. They were completely nude and totally engaged when security arrived and the young man was reluctant to disengage. Bottle water had to be used to cool them down and their naked bodies were covered with security blankets for their removal. This event caused a bigger spectator crowd than the game. It made the top story on the news that night. The Bills sucked anyways so what better way to report on the game that evening.

[chooch850]

Here's a Quiz I thought you'd like to take....What are they doing????

http://www.modestypanel.com/SorSE/

!Caution!....:blink:

[lennonwhore]

i got a 7/16...which means i.m bad at guessing people.s O faces

and that was quite the story chooch...i wish awesome things like that would happen at football games around here, it would be even more of a reason to go the games

[Quidam]

9/16...I suck...wait wasn't #12 doing that??

[may1]

10/16
O my

[Quidam]

LOL...this so reminds me of some of our conversations around here...

Girl Talk (http://youtube.com/watch?v=L7BQSswTNhA)

[Ms. Tumnus]

11/16

Not bad.

[photochild]

15/16. Maybe I found my true talent in life...

[RachWho?]

I got 15/16 too...how can we make money off this talent?

[minda07]

12/16 I am impressed ... and Rach and PC if you can use that talent in real life let me know!

[chooch850]

Rach and PC seem to read people the best. That is a great skill!!!1

I know we all like to take these tests and I found what I think is the ultimate test..... in fact it's called the "Ultimate Purity Test"..... and here it is.....

http://www.theferrett.com/purity/

[flipit]

omg that is the ultimate test. i did it for 15 min and my eyes started crossing. what the hell? you better know me after asking my ass five hundred questions. oh shit that reminds me i gotta go to the chooch thread

[flipit]

Here's a Quiz I thought you'd like to take....What are they doing????

http://www.modestypanel.com/SorSE/

!Caution!....:blink:

13/16 but i have to admit that was my second try the first time i got 7. a pop up window came up and said "has it really been that long since you've been with another person?"

no that f ing quiz DIDNT i am gonna f someone tomorrow i don't who care it is. if i get an std it's your fault! your fault!

[minda07]

I am 76% pure!:blushing: :blink:

[ScotyUtah]

14/16 - But at least half of the one's I got right were complete guesses. I don't have time for the purity test and I'm sure my purity level isn't so high.

[chooch850]

I wish I could "fall in love" again. As I see my kids go out in this world, I remember being their age and how exciting that time in my life was.
Some of you are single and I envy the fact that this is in your future. Some of you are now "in love" and the giddiness of this love is apparent when you talk about moments you've shared.

My first and only love was my husband. We kissed for the first time in the back seat of a car.We were both 14 and neither one of us had ever kissed anyone before. It was awful. So awful that I still remember it today. I hate to say this but he never learned how to do it right. I always avoided his kisses. This one guy kissed me at the bar once, for my birthday and I melted into a puddle at his feet. Needless to say, I had a crush on him for awhile.That is, until he went to jail for beating his wife. Kind of a turn-off.

.....but I was "in love". I would spend hours with him, and then get home and spend hours talking to him on the phone. We lived 30 miles away from each other, in different states. Our phone calls were long distance and our parents went ballistic when they got the phone bills. We tried to explain things to them, but "they just didn't understand!1"

My 2 older sisters had boyfriends in the same town my Romeo lived in so I always had a way to get there. I became best friends with Romeo's sister (we're still bf's) and that gave me a reason to spend the night in their town. She had her own apartment. (way cool.... right!)..... But the first time we had sex, (I can't even call it fucked, or made love) it didn't happen in her apartment, it didn't happen in the back seat of a car, it didn't happen on a roof or in a cemetary, it happened in his mom and dad's bed....ewwww.... and that's how I felt when it was over...ewwww..

He couldn't get it in at first and when he finally did get it part way in... he blew his wad.....ewwwwww....it was over that quick. Needless to say, I panicked, I was pregnant, I knew I was. I wanted an abortion.....right away.....that night!!!!!!1 Romeo was beside himself, here he had just scored his first 'piece of ass' and now he had to deal with a hysterical female. He did his best to comfort me but he didn't know if I was knocked up either. We went to Charlie's house. Charlie was a very wise man. He was 18. Once Romeo explained what had happened and he saw my tearful face, he told me to go home and take a hot bath. I was to take a bar of soap and insert it in my hoochie and leave it there for 10 minutes. That should wash away any jizz that got up in there. Simple as that. Wasn't he wise!!!1:thumbup1:

....so that was how I lost my virginity, and by the way, I didn't let Romeo try it again for 6 months. Being "in love" was great !!!!!!!1:wub:

[Ms. Tumnus]

Chooch, that's sweet (OK, not all of it, but in essence, yeah).

I miss being in love too. It's been waaaaaaaay too long. I forget what it's like, though it looks like fun :unsure2:

[minda07]

Awwww, Chooch - I too miss being in love :crying:

[chooch850]

ahhhh girls..... love is out there.... just waiting for you...... embrace it when it comes..... or at least have sex , that's just as much fun!!!1

[minda07]

ahhhh girls..... love is out there.... just waiting for you...... embrace it when it comes..... or at least have sex , that's just as much fun!!!1

There's the Chooch I know and love!

[tvaholic]

chooch, I miss it too. Yeah, I know right now I just want fun cuz I'm too scared to date for real, but eventually I hope to get there again! And I hear you big time on the kissing! My ex was a horrible kisser, even tho I tried to gently show him what I like, it never stuck. I kissed a guy last summer & it knocked my socks off, & I was like, Yes, that's what I'm talking about!

[may1]

Chooch, you have the most interesting stories. Like I said before, I would love to sit with you, have a drink and talk.

This may sound mushy - but here goes. I've been with my hubby for 24 yrs, and I feel the same about him now as I did then. I get excited when I get to see him after being away for a few days. You know, the butterflies in the stomach, palms sweaty. I love this man so much, and feel so loved by him. He is home to me.

[chooch850]

...ain't nothin' better than a good kisser ....

[chooch850]

Chooch, you have the most interesting stories. Like I said before, I would love to sit with you, have a drink and talk.

This may sound mushy - but here goes. I've been with my hubby for 24 yrs, and I feel the same about him now as I did then. I get excited when I get to see him after being away for a few days. You know, the butterflies in the stomach, palms sweaty. I love this man so much, and feel so loved by him. He is home to me.

May... you are truly blessed... a love like yours is so rare these days... I'm happy for you.

...... and he's good in the sack too ???...

[zoobabe]

Chooch, you have the most interesting stories. Like I said before, I would love to sit with you, have a drink and talk.

This may sound mushy - but here goes. I've been with my hubby for 24 yrs, and I feel the same about him now as I did then. I get excited when I get to see him after being away for a few days. You know, the butterflies in the stomach, palms sweaty. I love this man so much, and feel so loved by him. He is home to me.

I don't think it's mushy at all may. I think it's sweet. You are VERY lucky to have found each other b/c so many people experience such lonliness in life. Having someone by your side through thick and thin is a blessing.:)

[may1]

May... you are truly blessed... a love like yours is so rare these days... I'm happy for you.

...... and he's good in the sack too ???...

Yes, yes a thousand times yes.:blushing:

I know how blessed I am, and never take advantage of that fact.

[RachWho?]

Well, May, we've only been married 5 years, but I will tell you that I really do feel so lucky to have found him--I think I know what you mean. I can't imagine I wouldn't feel this way in another 20 or 50 years.

And Chooch, I LOVE hearing your stories. How can I have a happy hour with you?