flipit
06-27-2007, 08:31 PM
The triumph of conspicuous consumption with sneering contempt by the crudely undeserving is heroically displayed once again for all in the latest episode of My Super Sweet Sixteen. Miami’s pretty little Audrey Reyes, a lovely little Dorian Gray clone (without the introspective intellect, of course), introduces herself to us by proclaiming, “I always get what I want”; ”Nothing is too good for my happiness”; “I am a princess and I want everyone to know it’; and “If anything gets in the way of my perfect party, I will go crazy on everyone!". Well, Ok Audrey, you qualify for the bitchy little undeserving ingrate role in our 30 minute gag-fest, now let's check out Daddy's bank account to make sure you qualify for the high standards of the show. Yup, Daddy’s loaded. Congratulations, Audrey! You are the star of episode 40!
We are treated to an exciting suspense filled gathering in a park, with our starlet to be on stage surrounded by 30 or 40 kids in various stages of eager sycophantic bliss as they await the calling of their names by our latest sweetie Audrey, so that they can one by one, be awarded a pair of Made in China sunglasses with the Gucci tag still attached that have an inscribed invitation on the inside of the lenses to the gala celebrating the 15th birthday (Quinceaneara for those of you unfamiliar with the Latino tradition of putting these hot little salsa dipsticks on the market for the first time). Those awarded the invitations gush and fawn, not over the prospect of actually honoring the black hearted Audrey, but because they have been told that Beyonce or Ricky Martin, or, well, somebody interesting, may actually be in attendance. Those not chosen, are singled out by our heroine, berated and ridiculed as being unworthy, and condemned to the further oblivion that 20 seconds of face time just can’t overcome. Oh well, too bad for them. Pity the poor unwashed unwashed…
Next, we are allowed behind the scenes to catch our first real glimpse of Audrey’s discontented, self obsessed, manipulative persona as she tries on several dresses that have been custom made just for her and the occasion. She utters the term “haute couture”, and one has to wonder how many times the producers had to prompt her to say it correctly.
I give the TV my undivided attention to witness the infantile personality of this fascinatingly selfish young woman. She shows every ounce of disdain that she can muster for each of these magnificently beautiful custom tailored dresses and, with her already putrefied self indulgent ego, manages to blithely toss aside every one, describing them as, “disgusting “and “ugly”. It is no matter that the cost of this extravagant indulgence in waste runs into the tens of thousands, because, our sweet little princessita is out to prove to everyone that her sneering ingratitude can compete with the very worst. Her pronouncements of “ugly” and “disgusting” as she critically examines the mirro convince me that perhaps Audrey, albeit subconsciously, is able to gain some small truthful insight into her own withering soul.
Finally, we are introduced to the lovely woman responsible for this fascinatingly disrespectful product of overindulgence: the mother. Mrs. Reyes, in an obviously valium induced stupor, calmly observes her sweet little misbegotten spawn. The best possible guidance for young Audrey, as she just can’t be satisfied with any of the dresses, is to proffer that “Maybe we should use the money instead for a good psychiatrist”. There's a thought.
The second part of this episode provides more gist for the prurience mill, as we witness not just how thoughtless and disdainful, but MEAN, our young wannabe starlet can actually be. This is the best part of the show. We witness the gathering of Audrey’s “court”, at the dress shop as each girl tries on the dress that Audrey has chosen for them to wear. They, in their hopeful and desperate need for acceptance, have to endure the spiteful criticisms that Audrey (with gleeful aplomb) rains down from her self-appointed princess throne. This is just GREAT! She calls one girl a piggy and upturns her nose while snidefully observing that “someone’s got to lose a few pounds”, ultimately causing one of the girls to finally muster the courage to call this “ridiculous”. Another of the girls breaks down and cries under the merciless onslaught of our worthy princess. Does Audrey apologize? Of course not. She says, “I don’t really care”. What a girl! One can almost feel the glee of the cameramen and show directors as they capture this for our gluttonous consumption. Yes, Audrey seems to be the real deal!
But Wait, There’s more! The next stop is the Lexus Dealership, where, since “nothing is too good for my happiness”, our greedy, insatiable young star proves without a doubt that the phrase “Money Can’t Buy Class” does indeed hold at least a grain of truth. Audrey finally lowers her standards enough to allow her mother to purchase a brand new $70,000 Lexus convertible for her. Mrs. Diazapam, unfazed and dazed, can only mutter the mild objection that maybe “Dad wont like a convertible”. Wow, now that’s what I call instilling some discipline. This woman obviously purchased her parenting skills at Wal-Mart with a platinum American Express card and forgot to pick them up at the counter. I mean, the parents spend what to most human beings sharing this planet is a fortune, just to further provide absolute assurance to their psychotically egocentric young spawn of worthless ingratitude that no cost is too high to prove their love. Ah, what incredibly obtuse parenting can produce so easily in our wonderfully material rich culture. This scene finally begs the question; Hey, Where the hell is Daddy Warbucks anyway? He is nowhere to be seen throughout the episode. One can only imagine that he is off somewhere running his chain of pawn shops for which Miami is so well known and banging his little Lolita bookkeeper while his daughter slips further and further into the calcified worthless persona which only the most thankless demon in hell could be charmed by
.
The creme de la creme for the exhibition of Audrey’s ingratitude and worthy attainment of the title “Spoiled Little Bitch” comes when her mother surprises Ms. Sweetness with the $70000 Lexus while she is attending school. The best tantrum that our pathetically insouciant little attention whore can muster comes as Audrey screams at her mother for not presenting the car to her properly by waiting for the party. “You ruined the party! I fucking hate you! You ruined my life! The party is off!”, she screams at her mother as she stomps off. Does reality T.V. get any better than that?
The final scene of this episode is of course anticlimactic. As all of the berated, desperate invitees show up for the party, the court girls make a dance routine work out without Audrey complaining afterward, (the first truly astounding part of this episode) the kids do their best to get their faces in front of the camera, and everyone proclaims what a great party it was and how great Audrey is…
I would prefer to see young Audrey next cast in the Bitch Slap role of the latest greatest Gangsta Rap video, just to see her receive the just rewards for which her ill manners and contemptuousness are so richly deserving. But clearly,yes, by today’s standards, our girl Audrey is gonna be a star... til next week at least.
Maggie M’Gill
We are treated to an exciting suspense filled gathering in a park, with our starlet to be on stage surrounded by 30 or 40 kids in various stages of eager sycophantic bliss as they await the calling of their names by our latest sweetie Audrey, so that they can one by one, be awarded a pair of Made in China sunglasses with the Gucci tag still attached that have an inscribed invitation on the inside of the lenses to the gala celebrating the 15th birthday (Quinceaneara for those of you unfamiliar with the Latino tradition of putting these hot little salsa dipsticks on the market for the first time). Those awarded the invitations gush and fawn, not over the prospect of actually honoring the black hearted Audrey, but because they have been told that Beyonce or Ricky Martin, or, well, somebody interesting, may actually be in attendance. Those not chosen, are singled out by our heroine, berated and ridiculed as being unworthy, and condemned to the further oblivion that 20 seconds of face time just can’t overcome. Oh well, too bad for them. Pity the poor unwashed unwashed…
Next, we are allowed behind the scenes to catch our first real glimpse of Audrey’s discontented, self obsessed, manipulative persona as she tries on several dresses that have been custom made just for her and the occasion. She utters the term “haute couture”, and one has to wonder how many times the producers had to prompt her to say it correctly.
I give the TV my undivided attention to witness the infantile personality of this fascinatingly selfish young woman. She shows every ounce of disdain that she can muster for each of these magnificently beautiful custom tailored dresses and, with her already putrefied self indulgent ego, manages to blithely toss aside every one, describing them as, “disgusting “and “ugly”. It is no matter that the cost of this extravagant indulgence in waste runs into the tens of thousands, because, our sweet little princessita is out to prove to everyone that her sneering ingratitude can compete with the very worst. Her pronouncements of “ugly” and “disgusting” as she critically examines the mirro convince me that perhaps Audrey, albeit subconsciously, is able to gain some small truthful insight into her own withering soul.
Finally, we are introduced to the lovely woman responsible for this fascinatingly disrespectful product of overindulgence: the mother. Mrs. Reyes, in an obviously valium induced stupor, calmly observes her sweet little misbegotten spawn. The best possible guidance for young Audrey, as she just can’t be satisfied with any of the dresses, is to proffer that “Maybe we should use the money instead for a good psychiatrist”. There's a thought.
The second part of this episode provides more gist for the prurience mill, as we witness not just how thoughtless and disdainful, but MEAN, our young wannabe starlet can actually be. This is the best part of the show. We witness the gathering of Audrey’s “court”, at the dress shop as each girl tries on the dress that Audrey has chosen for them to wear. They, in their hopeful and desperate need for acceptance, have to endure the spiteful criticisms that Audrey (with gleeful aplomb) rains down from her self-appointed princess throne. This is just GREAT! She calls one girl a piggy and upturns her nose while snidefully observing that “someone’s got to lose a few pounds”, ultimately causing one of the girls to finally muster the courage to call this “ridiculous”. Another of the girls breaks down and cries under the merciless onslaught of our worthy princess. Does Audrey apologize? Of course not. She says, “I don’t really care”. What a girl! One can almost feel the glee of the cameramen and show directors as they capture this for our gluttonous consumption. Yes, Audrey seems to be the real deal!
But Wait, There’s more! The next stop is the Lexus Dealership, where, since “nothing is too good for my happiness”, our greedy, insatiable young star proves without a doubt that the phrase “Money Can’t Buy Class” does indeed hold at least a grain of truth. Audrey finally lowers her standards enough to allow her mother to purchase a brand new $70,000 Lexus convertible for her. Mrs. Diazapam, unfazed and dazed, can only mutter the mild objection that maybe “Dad wont like a convertible”. Wow, now that’s what I call instilling some discipline. This woman obviously purchased her parenting skills at Wal-Mart with a platinum American Express card and forgot to pick them up at the counter. I mean, the parents spend what to most human beings sharing this planet is a fortune, just to further provide absolute assurance to their psychotically egocentric young spawn of worthless ingratitude that no cost is too high to prove their love. Ah, what incredibly obtuse parenting can produce so easily in our wonderfully material rich culture. This scene finally begs the question; Hey, Where the hell is Daddy Warbucks anyway? He is nowhere to be seen throughout the episode. One can only imagine that he is off somewhere running his chain of pawn shops for which Miami is so well known and banging his little Lolita bookkeeper while his daughter slips further and further into the calcified worthless persona which only the most thankless demon in hell could be charmed by
.
The creme de la creme for the exhibition of Audrey’s ingratitude and worthy attainment of the title “Spoiled Little Bitch” comes when her mother surprises Ms. Sweetness with the $70000 Lexus while she is attending school. The best tantrum that our pathetically insouciant little attention whore can muster comes as Audrey screams at her mother for not presenting the car to her properly by waiting for the party. “You ruined the party! I fucking hate you! You ruined my life! The party is off!”, she screams at her mother as she stomps off. Does reality T.V. get any better than that?
The final scene of this episode is of course anticlimactic. As all of the berated, desperate invitees show up for the party, the court girls make a dance routine work out without Audrey complaining afterward, (the first truly astounding part of this episode) the kids do their best to get their faces in front of the camera, and everyone proclaims what a great party it was and how great Audrey is…
I would prefer to see young Audrey next cast in the Bitch Slap role of the latest greatest Gangsta Rap video, just to see her receive the just rewards for which her ill manners and contemptuousness are so richly deserving. But clearly,yes, by today’s standards, our girl Audrey is gonna be a star... til next week at least.
Maggie M’Gill