Attn mothers (or anyone close to children)

[ajerseyromance]

Hey guys, I have a Children's Literature course in which I have to take part in an online discussion. I don't have children and I'm not very close to many to really take part in this discussion effectively. I know a lot of you have kids-- any help that any of you can give will be greatly appreciated! The question is:

Q: In your experience and/or in your observation, are there differences in the moral and/or emotional development of boys and girls? At what age(s) do you see this?

Can you say no to this face :unsure2:

[glamgurl36]

id say around 3/4 girls start to act a lot more girly and nurturing than boys...it has to do with the type of toys people buy their children..and i dont have children but have been around them a lot

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Actually it's funny we were adament not to give my nephew any toy guns. So what did he do, he ran around the house shooting us with a banana. Not sure if that means they are just meant to do that.

[minda07]

Tink - my brother was very adament about my nieces not having toy guns even squirt guns - he didn't want to associate the real thing with a toy. My youngest niece uses her thumb and pointer.

[Katmandu]

My first two kids are 12 months apart and I was determined to prove the boy girl toy thing. My daughter didn't like girls toys that much when she was young but she is definitly more nuturing. I don't buty the toy thing. Most everything I thought I now need to eat my words. There is definitly something to nuture versus nature but boys will be boys and girls will be girls. My oldest daughter however is still a tomboy and then my son is a sensitive boy but they are a girl and a boy. My youngest daughter is the princess and I never even had disney princess movies in the house.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

WHoa - wait a minute.... did you just admit to not having Disney Princess movies?

*stumbles around wounded*

[Katmandu]

When I had my kids I was enlightened and feminist and determined to change the world. Now I just love the world and accept it for what it is. And my daughter's middle name is belle so she refers to herself as beautiful princess. Go figure

[giffordsaz]

Tink, you made me laugh and I have to pee!

[Firecat]

boys have a penis, girls have a vagina

[Katmandu]

LOL Firecat Back to the original question I think boys and girls are both moral. That so depends on the morals of the parents and morals are personal and subjective.


I would have to say that watching my son and other children, boys are slower to develope emotionally. Before anyone yells at me that is just my observation (i have many) There really are no hard and fast rules. But I am constantly amazed at what I perceive to be male attributes in my son. Girls(not always) just seem more emotionally advanced and they have it together earlier. It is my guess that my son just knows that his sisters or I will get stuff done.

[lbs30]

My son (only child is almost 4), turns through toy catalogs
and says those are girl toys (dolls, pink pages),
but he has his own kitchen w/ food and talks about being a cooker man.
- gives the death metal sign and head-bangs (since 9 mos) but has added AGGGRHHHH - for 'daddy's music',
-LOVES Sound of Music {new fav song is "I am 16 going 17" {which kills said father})
- has been in Tae Kwon Do classes for 9 mos now (equally boys/girls). Going for his Yellow headband (they do headbands of the same ranking for the younger children to make sure they understand their forms).


Can I use anymore ()?

To sum up - I think it don't think it is all automatic boys vs girls genes, nor do I think it is all Nature and Nurture. I think it is a healthy combo of whatever is right for that child.

Mine can get really scared of nothing, but be scared of something so little. Some nights he hates kisses and only likes hugs - other nights he "needs" rocked to sleep.

I have certain fears, hubby has others - he has already decided his. I can just deal with it and make sure he grows up to be a respectful, polite, strong young man.

[chooch850]

I have twins. A boy and a girl. They are both 22yrs old. I should have something profound to tell you about their differences. I've been thinking about it all evening.

Sarah was a girlie girl up until puberty. She developed early and had her first period at nine. I have not seen her unclothed since that time. She never cared for dolls but loved animals, stuffed and real. She had boy crushes until age 12, when a friend of her older brother tried to cop a feel when she was sleeping in her bed one night. All crushes were internet loves after that. (I was not aware of this late-night intrusion until just recently.) She has great compassion for others in need, but no time for assholes. She speaks her mind and is direct and to the point. She has stuck up for the underdog since kindergarten. Her and Dick would have had some great battles. I requested the school keep her and Matt in separate classes so they could develop their own sense of self and their own friends. This has worked out well.

Matt has always had boy tendencies. He loved to wrestle and play ninja. Now that I think of it, so did Sarah. No guns in my house, and I taught them at an early age that they were harmful and deadly. They did NOT go to houses where there were guns. Matt learned to fight with his mouth and his hands. The spoken word can hurt more than a fist. He has never used either weapon. He would never hurt someones feelings. He is very compassionate and wouldn't harm a flea(literally). His puberty came later, around 12 he didn't persue girls. He had crushes, but never asked a girl to a dance or a date in school. Matt has always loved animals too.

I don't know if any of this is a help to you. I will say this, from an early age, Matt knew he was a boy and Sarah knew she was a girl. School changes who they are dramatically. Peer pressure is a constant hurdle right up until graduation. They developed their moral foundation from myself and their Dad. That begins as soon as they are old enough to interact with others. Girls are definitely more complicated. Boys are more neandrethol.(sp?) There ya have it.

[Katmandu]

Chooch you sound like an experinced parent. My daughter is in grade six and the girl stuff is killing me. Man words do way more harm than fists. My daughter to is the underdog protector which makes her the target for the mean girls. She stands up to them but it is still hard to watch. I may have to come to you for more advice.

[TinkerbellAPixie]

I don't think there is a moral or emotional difference between young boys and girls. I think it's dependent on the child and the parents. There are 6 kids in my family, 5 girls and 1 boy. All of us had a very strong moral compass very early on. We were all the types to stand up for those who were being picked on or bullied and we all tend to get our feelings hurt very easily.

[ajerseyromance]

Thank you guys so much for all your input. It's very helpful! Thank you! :)

[photochild]

This is slightly off topic, but still interesting regarding siblings. Since I've met bio-fam in the past 6 months I have given A LOT of thought to nature vs. nurture. It's crazy how much is nature. Little things like facial expressions that I share with my siblings. This weird giggle thing I've always done my bio-mom does. Things that people probably assume they pick up from around them seem to actually be genetic. Our personalities are so alike in so many ways. I feel like I could write a book on it now...I won't make my post that long, but it's fascinating. I hadn't seen any of them in my 23 years and it turns out we're all very alike.

[ajerseyromance]

Photo-- Don't feel like you have to hold back! I find all of that very interesting! And you're right about the facial expression thing. It's crazy when I make a face, and I'm like... omg my mom makes that face. You have a very unique situation and I'm sure sociologists and psychiatrists would love to study you... lol, feel like a lab rat yet? If you don't mind my asking, how is it that you've been separated for 23 years? Feel free to disregard that question if you don't want to share. Just curious. :o

[photochild]

Photo-- Don't feel like you have to hold back! I find all of that very interesting! And you're right about the facial expression thing. It's crazy when I make a face, and I'm like... omg my mom makes that face. You have a very unique situation and I'm sure sociologists and psychiatrists would love to study you... lol, feel like a lab rat yet? If you don't mind my asking, how is it that you've been separated for 23 years? Feel free to disregard that question if you don't want to share. Just curious. :o

I was adopted at 4 days. And my birth mother found me on Myspace a few months back. And with her came 6 more siblings. It's been an awesome experience, and it's like I have two amazing families.

My friend actually referenced us in one of her sociology papers this summer. My older brother and I are a lot a like. But after meeting my 14 year old brother I realized he and I are the same people...except I'm 9 years older and a girl. But my parents (adopted) saw pictures of all of them recently and were amazed by similarities...and not with things like eye color, but with actual expressions and how we do things.

[ajerseyromance]

I was adopted at 4 days. And my birth mother found me on Myspace a few months back. And with her came 6 more siblings. It's been an awesome experience, and it's like I have two amazing families.

My friend actually referenced us in one of her sociology papers this summer. My older brother and I are a lot a like. But after meeting my 14 year old brother I realized he and I are the same people...except I'm 9 years older and a girl. But my parents (adopted) saw pictures of all of them recently and were amazed by similarities...and not with things like eye color, but with actual expressions and how we do things.

Awh that is such a nice story. Did you have any idea she was looking for you? Had you ever tried to find her?

[photochild]

Awh that is such a nice story. Did you have any idea she was looking for you? Had you ever tried to find her?

No idea she'd ever find me. And I was always curious, but wasn't sure how to go about doing it. She has an incredibly common name, plus I found out she was unlisted. But it worked out amazingly.

[ajerseyromance]

Awh that's awesome. I'm glad everything worked out the way it did. :simplesmile: