flipit
08-12-2008, 09:40 PM
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High School Musical Get in the Picture- this is the song that never ends.
So there I was surfing the web diligently working and imagine my surprise when- I casually look in my inbox, and there it was, the Holy Grail….an e-mail from Flipit…
Congratulations it said, you get paid nothing, and can audition for tvgasm where thousands will ridicule your every word. We probably won't pick you. Good luck. OH HAPPY DAY!! And what show would I be recapping- adding my intelligence AND witty commentary to? High School Musical?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Huh?
My first thought- utter confusion. I thought that High School Musical was a movie starting a guy/girl named Ashley. I’ve seen pics of the High School Musical kids but I can never figure out which one is Ashley- plus people are gender swapping names all over the place these days.
I turned to my old friend Google. Google is always there for me is stressful situations like this, AND…Google confirmed that High School Musical ….is…a movie….DAMN YOU GOOGLE- wait… don’t be mad, I didn’t mean it.
:: Sigh:: I will not give up! Flipit would never lead me astray….. I e-mailed my friend Whitney who informed me that High School Musical GET IN THE PICTURE is actually a TV show hosted by Nick Lachey. My interest was peaked…well not really, but this is what I’ve been assigned to do, so I’ll fake it (that's what she said-ba-dum-ching!)
Step #1-Research- I quickly googled High School Musical GET INTO THE PICTURE (not to be confused with High School Musical 1, 2, or 3 THE MOVIE) and found the trailer…watched it…and...still confused. I saw Nick Lachey, I saw some fat kid smiling, and some kid with curly hair said this is the best thing that ever happened to him. He is obviously still a virgin, and quite possibly has not discovered masturbation yet…. I also learned that High School Musical THE MOVIE is apparently "the biggest global sensation of the decade…" hmm…decade…..really? I started to take offense to this and then realized that every movie I could come up with as a counterpoint was made before 1995, yes it made me sad to realize that Fast Times at Ridgemont High is no longer considered a recent feature film…
My research continued and I found an interview with Nick Lachey- you know the “famous one” from 98 Degrees…you know 98 Degrees, they sang…*crickets*…um, anyway…
Nick explained that they audition High School kids all over the country… he said a lot more…but I got distracted. It was a combination of ADD, complete lack of interest, and the fact that Nick's shirt perfectly matched his lips….eeew, not like that, his shirt was blood red. Creepy. Is he wearing lipstick?
Well I've never been good at research anyway, so I guess I'll just have to watch and see what happens.
The show opens and it looks like we missed auditions- no American Idol flop moments here folks- we are down to our final 12. This IS High School Musical Get in the Picture (just doesn’t have the same ring to it…). And what will they be competing for….A STARING ROLE..yes... in a MUSIC VIDEO…yes….that will appear in the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 credits!?!? Wow, these kids are really shooting for the stars- I can just see the winner making his or her friends sit through the whole movie just to catch a glimpse of “stardom” at the end. “See guys, I told you I’d be in the …hey they blocked out my face with the sound guy’s name...” Wait, I’m assuming that these kids have friends. Sorry, my bad.
Oh they also get “an executive talent hold agreement with ABC …” whatever that means…and a recording contract with Disney for 2 songs- one of which will be the single from the music video. I’m surprised they didn’t throw in an old sock and a box of Cheeze-its and call it a day. Good lord, this has to be the worst prize for a reality TV show yet.
Any who- now that we know all about the fabulous prizes, lets move on.-The 12 finalists are all there sitting in what looks like the auditorium of a high school- *light bulb comes on in my head* and Nick Lachey stands in front them and you can tell they’re all trying to figure out who the fuck this guy is- I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for one of them to ask if he’s Drew Lachey’s brother, hah, or even better…Drew’s FATHER! Oh please reality TV gods. Make it so!!!
98 degrees tells the kiddies that they made it, and now the work begins. He introduces the “faculty” of the school and leaves them alone with faculty guy #1, Rob Adler. Rob has ringlets like Shirley Temple and obviously dressed himself like a big boy this morning because his suit jacket is about 9 times too big. Shirley tells the kids they’re going to play a game called “Fresh Eyes” where they each take turns judging each other. WHAT- could it be that the reality TV gods ARE smiling on me? These kids are going to come up with their own nicknames AND will tear each other’s self esteem to shreds It looks like my work here is done! Bartender, another glass of wine!
Shirley calls up James Wolpert first, who looks like Michael Cera (George Michael) from Arrested Development. One of the kids says he looks like Harry Potter—done and done! Sit down Harry- you bore me.
Next we meet (for those of us tuning in for the first time) Christie Brooke- a peppy cheerleader who scrunches her face when she smiles, not in a cute way. Some kid named Isaiah says he sees “dumb blond,” HAH! Christie Brooke looks shocked and her face gets scrunchier, the other kids gasp I high five my TV. They cut to commercial. Way to leave us in suspense ABC. When we come back, they replay the “dumb blond fiasco of 2008,” and then cut to Christie saying that she expected it, but blonds aren’t dumb…right *annoying giggle*. Oh Christie. This “game” seems to never end. Can’t we just tell them they all suck, give them some shotguns and vicodin and call it a day? Or at least give ME a shotgun and some vicodin...
An awkward looking kid with a horrible bowl cut named Ether comes up. LOL! I rewound my DVR 4 times to make sure they pronounced it like I thought. Ether does not know why people see him as dorky. Gee ETHER I don’t know……..ETHER. You don’t even need a nickname. Christie says his shirt reminds her of chess. I try and scrunch Christie’s head in between my finger and my thumb but after my 2nd glass of wine, her head is a little blurry.
My main man Isaiah steps up-he is black-Christie says “basketball.” I pause my DVR to hit my head against the wall. And we’re back. Isaiah says he’s a ladies man. Blah blah, that will do Isaiah. NEXT! We meet Stan. The ladies describe him as handsome, the guys say jock. Shayna says he “looks like the kind of a guy a lot of girls want, but he doesn’t want any of them, he wants a secret girl” She then giggles and gives him the come fuck me eyes. Ooh it looks like someone might be getting a prize other then a crappy music video that plays during the credits of a crappy movie (say that 3 times fast). For those of you that got lost during my long-windedness (IT’S A WORD!)- They’re gana bone!
TJ comes up-he is also balck- Christie says basketball. SHUT UP CHRISTIE!!!!!!!!!!! Where’s that shotgun….
My favorite is Bailey- she says she’s 16, but looks about 35 and sounds like she ate a frog. And her name is Bailey. Aaaand the High School Musical Drinking Game is officially born.*tear* I think I fell asleep (passed out) for a little bit because next thing I know the kids are screaming next to a bunch of K-Mart bags- if I saw a bunch of K-Mart bags, I’d scream too. What if the BIG K came after me! Oh…they’re excited- well to each his own….. After their “awesome” prizes, they get an EVEN bigger surprise. Hey, when did Nick Lachey get back in the room? Is that the surprise?!?
Nope. Looks like for the BIGGEST SURPRISE EVER- they get to go to the “set” of HIGH SCHOOL MUSCIAL 3!!!!!!! *insert girlish screams, coming from both the girls and the guys* Once on the “set” (read: High School) Bailey gets on her knees, and someone says something about dancing on tables.I’m pretty sure it’s Shayna. Um girls, I don’t think that’s going to work on most of the guys in this profession, but hey give it a shot. Bailey should be able to show you the ropes! Nick asks if the kids have ever been on a move set…IT’S A HIGH SCHOOL, so yes Nick, I’m guessing they’ve been in a room just like this…but have you?
Nick introduces the choreographer and director of HSM3 Kenny Ortega. Kenny cha cha chas down the stairs. He’s reminds me of Willy Wonka in that creepy don’t leave me alone with your kids kind of way. Just wait though; the surprises are not done yet. They get to meet some of the actors from HSM3. I don’t recognize any of them and can only focus on the fact that the girl on the right looks like a Tranny that just came from Glamour Shots. Good lord that’s a big girl.
After some advice form the “actors” (read: extras) Kenny asks the kids if they want to jam. Um of course! They all break out into “spontaneous” song which I can only assume is part of HSM (I got tired of writing High School Musical, incase you were wondering) Kenny picks kids to come out and sing individually. Some girl who looks like Tila Tequila comes out and is pretty good, then this girl Brianna, who I don’t even remember form the Rip Your Confidence to Shreds game forgets the words. Haha. Should have brushed up your HSM lyrics…you know since the show is called HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL Get in the Picture. Her voice is crappy too. I don’t know how these kids get eliminated, but I’d be willing to bet that Ms. Brianna here gets the boot first. Bye bye Brianna! Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be working at the Diary Queen in no time, remembering the “glory days” of HSM GET IN THE PICTURE and blowing Billy Bob under the bleachers.
The kids continue to sing as Kenny leers at them. He then asks if they want to come into his world of pure imagination. Do with that what you will. Stan says he wants Kenny to remember him. Be careful what you wish for Stanny. The kid who looks like Harry Potter is pretty good! And oddly enough so is Ether! Go figure, the two dorkiest kids in the bunch have the best talent…too bad they won’t win. America may be deaf, but they’re not blind!
And now, ABC brings us another totally spontaneous moment (read: scripted and probably took 3 takes to get) - Kenny “forgot” he has to be on the set. Oh no Kenny, what ever will you do? He even looks at his watch in fake surprise. I bet the watch doesn’t even work. Stick to dancing and leering at kids Kenny. But wait, he asks if the kids want to be extras. Wow, what a great spontaneous idea!!!! I had to mute my TV because the screaming was so loud. I also looked away, worried that Kenny would take the screaming as an invitation….Kenny says “there are no small parts, only small actors,” but from his experience, there have been many actors with small parts…..ok, maybe I threw in that last part, but that’s what he was thinking. The kids are going to be official Wild Cat Extras. I try to repress my excitement.
Cut to the kids being extras screaming etc. Harry says that when Kenny says action, he becomes a Wild Cat. That’s what he’s banking on Harry- save that wild catness for the dressing room, after the show, *wink*
Holy crap, the tranny “actress” girl is a cheerleader? Yeah this show is SUPER realistic!
After their day-o-wildcatting, we meet faculty member #2, Regina Williams. She is going to work on “technique and staying in shape” with the kids. LOL as she is saying that they pan over to the fat kid Anthony. Hey I wonder if that’s the smiling fat kid from the trailer…. We watch as the kids do shoulder roles, rib cage isolations. Fascinating.
The have a private moment with soon to be eliminated Briana who talks about how Regina is old school and how she’s young and fresh and it’s so cool to learn old people’s moves. Yeah Brianna- Regina’s old school thing is called rhythm. Get some. Some of the kids are struggling with the dancing part. Like they never thought you would have to dance for a MUSICAL AUDITION! What is wrong with the youth of America? The kids do pushups, Fatty McFaterson cries and then they are done. Regina gives a long speech about staying focused, and then I lost her. She made no sense at all. The kids nod and seem just as confused as I do. Fatty throw up from too much exercise. I must have been looking away during the part of the show where Regina smokes pot.
Well that’s pretty much it. We cut to the kids “spontaneously” singing Tiny Dancer together around a piano. Elton John is in the background with a knife and a ski mask, just waiting until the camera turns off so he can make the kids regret butchering his song. It’s like Disney invaded that scene from Almost Famous where they are all on the bus singing together. It makes me wish for the scene in almost famous where the plane almost crashes. And FINALLY, the shows over…I think….that’s it…that’s the end- but nothing happened? Oh will the confusion never end! Oh phew, it is the end. There’s another episode on tomorrow night. I’ll be sure to tune in (read: hide under the covers).
Thanks for reading- I hope you enjoyed it.
High School Musical Get in the Picture- this is the song that never ends.
So there I was surfing the web diligently working and imagine my surprise when- I casually look in my inbox, and there it was, the Holy Grail….an e-mail from Flipit…
Congratulations it said, you get paid nothing, and can audition for tvgasm where thousands will ridicule your every word. We probably won't pick you. Good luck. OH HAPPY DAY!! And what show would I be recapping- adding my intelligence AND witty commentary to? High School Musical?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Huh?
My first thought- utter confusion. I thought that High School Musical was a movie starting a guy/girl named Ashley. I’ve seen pics of the High School Musical kids but I can never figure out which one is Ashley- plus people are gender swapping names all over the place these days.
I turned to my old friend Google. Google is always there for me is stressful situations like this, AND…Google confirmed that High School Musical ….is…a movie….DAMN YOU GOOGLE- wait… don’t be mad, I didn’t mean it.
:: Sigh:: I will not give up! Flipit would never lead me astray….. I e-mailed my friend Whitney who informed me that High School Musical GET IN THE PICTURE is actually a TV show hosted by Nick Lachey. My interest was peaked…well not really, but this is what I’ve been assigned to do, so I’ll fake it (that's what she said-ba-dum-ching!)
Step #1-Research- I quickly googled High School Musical GET INTO THE PICTURE (not to be confused with High School Musical 1, 2, or 3 THE MOVIE) and found the trailer…watched it…and...still confused. I saw Nick Lachey, I saw some fat kid smiling, and some kid with curly hair said this is the best thing that ever happened to him. He is obviously still a virgin, and quite possibly has not discovered masturbation yet…. I also learned that High School Musical THE MOVIE is apparently "the biggest global sensation of the decade…" hmm…decade…..really? I started to take offense to this and then realized that every movie I could come up with as a counterpoint was made before 1995, yes it made me sad to realize that Fast Times at Ridgemont High is no longer considered a recent feature film…
My research continued and I found an interview with Nick Lachey- you know the “famous one” from 98 Degrees…you know 98 Degrees, they sang…*crickets*…um, anyway…
Nick explained that they audition High School kids all over the country… he said a lot more…but I got distracted. It was a combination of ADD, complete lack of interest, and the fact that Nick's shirt perfectly matched his lips….eeew, not like that, his shirt was blood red. Creepy. Is he wearing lipstick?
Well I've never been good at research anyway, so I guess I'll just have to watch and see what happens.
The show opens and it looks like we missed auditions- no American Idol flop moments here folks- we are down to our final 12. This IS High School Musical Get in the Picture (just doesn’t have the same ring to it…). And what will they be competing for….A STARING ROLE..yes... in a MUSIC VIDEO…yes….that will appear in the HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 credits!?!? Wow, these kids are really shooting for the stars- I can just see the winner making his or her friends sit through the whole movie just to catch a glimpse of “stardom” at the end. “See guys, I told you I’d be in the …hey they blocked out my face with the sound guy’s name...” Wait, I’m assuming that these kids have friends. Sorry, my bad.
Oh they also get “an executive talent hold agreement with ABC …” whatever that means…and a recording contract with Disney for 2 songs- one of which will be the single from the music video. I’m surprised they didn’t throw in an old sock and a box of Cheeze-its and call it a day. Good lord, this has to be the worst prize for a reality TV show yet.
Any who- now that we know all about the fabulous prizes, lets move on.-The 12 finalists are all there sitting in what looks like the auditorium of a high school- *light bulb comes on in my head* and Nick Lachey stands in front them and you can tell they’re all trying to figure out who the fuck this guy is- I am sitting on the edge of my seat waiting for one of them to ask if he’s Drew Lachey’s brother, hah, or even better…Drew’s FATHER! Oh please reality TV gods. Make it so!!!
98 degrees tells the kiddies that they made it, and now the work begins. He introduces the “faculty” of the school and leaves them alone with faculty guy #1, Rob Adler. Rob has ringlets like Shirley Temple and obviously dressed himself like a big boy this morning because his suit jacket is about 9 times too big. Shirley tells the kids they’re going to play a game called “Fresh Eyes” where they each take turns judging each other. WHAT- could it be that the reality TV gods ARE smiling on me? These kids are going to come up with their own nicknames AND will tear each other’s self esteem to shreds It looks like my work here is done! Bartender, another glass of wine!
Shirley calls up James Wolpert first, who looks like Michael Cera (George Michael) from Arrested Development. One of the kids says he looks like Harry Potter—done and done! Sit down Harry- you bore me.
Next we meet (for those of us tuning in for the first time) Christie Brooke- a peppy cheerleader who scrunches her face when she smiles, not in a cute way. Some kid named Isaiah says he sees “dumb blond,” HAH! Christie Brooke looks shocked and her face gets scrunchier, the other kids gasp I high five my TV. They cut to commercial. Way to leave us in suspense ABC. When we come back, they replay the “dumb blond fiasco of 2008,” and then cut to Christie saying that she expected it, but blonds aren’t dumb…right *annoying giggle*. Oh Christie. This “game” seems to never end. Can’t we just tell them they all suck, give them some shotguns and vicodin and call it a day? Or at least give ME a shotgun and some vicodin...
An awkward looking kid with a horrible bowl cut named Ether comes up. LOL! I rewound my DVR 4 times to make sure they pronounced it like I thought. Ether does not know why people see him as dorky. Gee ETHER I don’t know……..ETHER. You don’t even need a nickname. Christie says his shirt reminds her of chess. I try and scrunch Christie’s head in between my finger and my thumb but after my 2nd glass of wine, her head is a little blurry.
My main man Isaiah steps up-he is black-Christie says “basketball.” I pause my DVR to hit my head against the wall. And we’re back. Isaiah says he’s a ladies man. Blah blah, that will do Isaiah. NEXT! We meet Stan. The ladies describe him as handsome, the guys say jock. Shayna says he “looks like the kind of a guy a lot of girls want, but he doesn’t want any of them, he wants a secret girl” She then giggles and gives him the come fuck me eyes. Ooh it looks like someone might be getting a prize other then a crappy music video that plays during the credits of a crappy movie (say that 3 times fast). For those of you that got lost during my long-windedness (IT’S A WORD!)- They’re gana bone!
TJ comes up-he is also balck- Christie says basketball. SHUT UP CHRISTIE!!!!!!!!!!! Where’s that shotgun….
My favorite is Bailey- she says she’s 16, but looks about 35 and sounds like she ate a frog. And her name is Bailey. Aaaand the High School Musical Drinking Game is officially born.*tear* I think I fell asleep (passed out) for a little bit because next thing I know the kids are screaming next to a bunch of K-Mart bags- if I saw a bunch of K-Mart bags, I’d scream too. What if the BIG K came after me! Oh…they’re excited- well to each his own….. After their “awesome” prizes, they get an EVEN bigger surprise. Hey, when did Nick Lachey get back in the room? Is that the surprise?!?
Nope. Looks like for the BIGGEST SURPRISE EVER- they get to go to the “set” of HIGH SCHOOL MUSCIAL 3!!!!!!! *insert girlish screams, coming from both the girls and the guys* Once on the “set” (read: High School) Bailey gets on her knees, and someone says something about dancing on tables.I’m pretty sure it’s Shayna. Um girls, I don’t think that’s going to work on most of the guys in this profession, but hey give it a shot. Bailey should be able to show you the ropes! Nick asks if the kids have ever been on a move set…IT’S A HIGH SCHOOL, so yes Nick, I’m guessing they’ve been in a room just like this…but have you?
Nick introduces the choreographer and director of HSM3 Kenny Ortega. Kenny cha cha chas down the stairs. He’s reminds me of Willy Wonka in that creepy don’t leave me alone with your kids kind of way. Just wait though; the surprises are not done yet. They get to meet some of the actors from HSM3. I don’t recognize any of them and can only focus on the fact that the girl on the right looks like a Tranny that just came from Glamour Shots. Good lord that’s a big girl.
After some advice form the “actors” (read: extras) Kenny asks the kids if they want to jam. Um of course! They all break out into “spontaneous” song which I can only assume is part of HSM (I got tired of writing High School Musical, incase you were wondering) Kenny picks kids to come out and sing individually. Some girl who looks like Tila Tequila comes out and is pretty good, then this girl Brianna, who I don’t even remember form the Rip Your Confidence to Shreds game forgets the words. Haha. Should have brushed up your HSM lyrics…you know since the show is called HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL Get in the Picture. Her voice is crappy too. I don’t know how these kids get eliminated, but I’d be willing to bet that Ms. Brianna here gets the boot first. Bye bye Brianna! Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be working at the Diary Queen in no time, remembering the “glory days” of HSM GET IN THE PICTURE and blowing Billy Bob under the bleachers.
The kids continue to sing as Kenny leers at them. He then asks if they want to come into his world of pure imagination. Do with that what you will. Stan says he wants Kenny to remember him. Be careful what you wish for Stanny. The kid who looks like Harry Potter is pretty good! And oddly enough so is Ether! Go figure, the two dorkiest kids in the bunch have the best talent…too bad they won’t win. America may be deaf, but they’re not blind!
And now, ABC brings us another totally spontaneous moment (read: scripted and probably took 3 takes to get) - Kenny “forgot” he has to be on the set. Oh no Kenny, what ever will you do? He even looks at his watch in fake surprise. I bet the watch doesn’t even work. Stick to dancing and leering at kids Kenny. But wait, he asks if the kids want to be extras. Wow, what a great spontaneous idea!!!! I had to mute my TV because the screaming was so loud. I also looked away, worried that Kenny would take the screaming as an invitation….Kenny says “there are no small parts, only small actors,” but from his experience, there have been many actors with small parts…..ok, maybe I threw in that last part, but that’s what he was thinking. The kids are going to be official Wild Cat Extras. I try to repress my excitement.
Cut to the kids being extras screaming etc. Harry says that when Kenny says action, he becomes a Wild Cat. That’s what he’s banking on Harry- save that wild catness for the dressing room, after the show, *wink*
Holy crap, the tranny “actress” girl is a cheerleader? Yeah this show is SUPER realistic!
After their day-o-wildcatting, we meet faculty member #2, Regina Williams. She is going to work on “technique and staying in shape” with the kids. LOL as she is saying that they pan over to the fat kid Anthony. Hey I wonder if that’s the smiling fat kid from the trailer…. We watch as the kids do shoulder roles, rib cage isolations. Fascinating.
The have a private moment with soon to be eliminated Briana who talks about how Regina is old school and how she’s young and fresh and it’s so cool to learn old people’s moves. Yeah Brianna- Regina’s old school thing is called rhythm. Get some. Some of the kids are struggling with the dancing part. Like they never thought you would have to dance for a MUSICAL AUDITION! What is wrong with the youth of America? The kids do pushups, Fatty McFaterson cries and then they are done. Regina gives a long speech about staying focused, and then I lost her. She made no sense at all. The kids nod and seem just as confused as I do. Fatty throw up from too much exercise. I must have been looking away during the part of the show where Regina smokes pot.
Well that’s pretty much it. We cut to the kids “spontaneously” singing Tiny Dancer together around a piano. Elton John is in the background with a knife and a ski mask, just waiting until the camera turns off so he can make the kids regret butchering his song. It’s like Disney invaded that scene from Almost Famous where they are all on the bus singing together. It makes me wish for the scene in almost famous where the plane almost crashes. And FINALLY, the shows over…I think….that’s it…that’s the end- but nothing happened? Oh will the confusion never end! Oh phew, it is the end. There’s another episode on tomorrow night. I’ll be sure to tune in (read: hide under the covers).
Thanks for reading- I hope you enjoyed it.