flipit
05-27-2009, 08:06 AM
Drama, drama, drama: Why There Will Always Be a Prom Episode
Right, so…I know nothing about 90210. I’ve seen Shenae Grimes (Annie) on the few episodes of Degrassi I watched, Jennie Garth on the few episodes of What I Like About You That I Watched, and oh, look, there’s Lori Loughlin from Full House. Yeah… However, I can bring some soap opera expertise to the table as I did waste a summer of my life watching All My Children while obsessing over the Ryan/Greenlee situation while entranced by Cameron Mathison’s physique and brooding and Rebecca Budig’s childlike yet tough portrayal of Greenlee. But then she left the show to have a life and when she came back I couldn’t bring myself to clear up enough time in my schedule to watch. Hopefully, though, this is more like Law & Order and have a nice, clean, episodic breakdown that I can easily jump into. On that note…
Previously on 90210…Jennie Garth has Posh Spice/Victoria Beckham hair. Now honestly, who thought she’d be the most successful one to come out of that group? And Jennie’s rocking the look with a really cute bright red dress. I know nothing about the show but I’m assuming this is a school? My teachers do not dress like this. But I digress. “Your father called us yesterday.” “My stepfather.” Ooh, rebellious. Doing that whole, correcting her choice of words because that’s what all the tough, but sensitive emotionally rejected rich kids do. That is so totally Hamlet. Been there, done that. Bam!
Sorry about that. The kid who looks much too old to be attending high school is apparently in some trouble because stepdad (sure, I’ll go with it) requested his records and is browsing military schools. Oooh, military school. Why is that always the TV/TV movie/Hollywood movie answer to disciplining your children? And if you just need to send them away, boarding school. Seriously, why is that the best threat they can come up with? How about an impoverished nation somewhere in the jungle or desert with unclean and little drinking water where you have to teach children to speak English who are contemplating stealing your watch to sell for food? Do I have to think of everything?
Some blond women are sitting on couches. Apparently one is borrowing money from the other. One looks a bit like one of those California beach girl good looks type models. The other looks like an America’s Next Top Model reject. No, seriously, does anyone else who watches ANTM second me on that? Doesn’t the girl lending the money look a bit like cycle 5’s Lisa D’Amato? Who has a music career now (Lisa)??? What? The world is going to hell in a handbasket. I just listened to her song ‘The Ace of Spades’. OK, I listened to half of it. I couldn’t take it anymore.
Some young people are talking about drinking and wearing what appear to be really ugly dresses, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt because it’s a little dark in that shot. Did I just catch a glimpse of some glitter sequins? *Shudders* I take it back. Harry Wilson, people who play dads on TV are not allowed to say the word stoked and then get applauded. I’m assuming no one did because of his next words. Apparently he’ll be at after prom with the Beverly Hills police department. Regardless, let that be a lesson to you. No using the word ‘stoked’. I for one am shocked they were even having an “after prom”. I’m sure as hell not going to my after prom. And they’re living in posh Beverly hills (sarcasm). Well, anyway, the drama is apparently revolving around someone letting Harry into the whole after prom heavy drinking thing, and they know who it is. Annie. Or do they? *cue dramatic music* I say that because you never really know with these shows. It’s either the evil bitch ruining everyone’s night storyline. Or the innocent girl who everyone assumes is guilty storyline. Yawn.
Some girl whose name I don’t know, confronts Annie who replies with “Is that what everyone thinks?” And yes, she hasn’t learned to act since her time on Degrassi as uber-Christian, led astray into posting “sexy” *cough a la Miley Cyrus cough* pictures of herself online Darcy. “They don’t think. They know.” Like we’ve never heard that one before pissy, pale, poodle-haired girl with somewhat scary thick, dark eyebrows… Woo alliteration. “You’re a rat.” Now that I haven’t heard since those 1930s-1950s old movies I watch. What next? Are you going to accuse her of being a no-good, rotten fink? Surely you could come up with a better insult than that. Call her a snitch. I know a little bit of rap has to trickle into Beverly hills.
The sophomore Prom queen is Erin Silver! Her face lights up. Then she looks bored and sleepy. She reminds me of a cross between Amy Lee (Evanescence) and Taylor Vaughn (the mean girl in She’s All That)…and a narcoleptic dog. Oh wait, she’s being serious. I should be too. “I don’t know exactly who I am.” Why are you posing like a broken doll? (Thanks ANTM!) Now you remind me of Natalie from this cycle. Wait, damn it, focus! “But I do know who I am not.” Nice enunciation. Uh oh, she’s lifting her hands to the crown which is nice and big and shiny. Me like. “Some weird, zombie, prom-loving loser.” Aw, why’d you have to go and say that? The poor weird, zombie, prom-loving loser near you just made a sad puppy dog face. But other than that, amen, sister. If only you didn’t sound so sleepy and unauthoritative about it, I’d be right behind you.
“Why did you get me this corsage? You looked on my facebook page, didn’t you? You like me.” Which reminds me that my school made a facebook group for all the girls’ prom dresses so no one would get caught wearing the same thing. But then, I’d have to join facebook to look at it. Nevermind. Her conclusion does seem like a logical one, though. Very few self-respecting straight men would have any reason to go look up what corsage she wanted on her facebook page. Only one guy has checked out the prom dress page and his sexuality is questionable. If that question is ‘why do you keep pretending you’re straight’? Did I mention he wants to be Anna Wintour?
Big fight. With someone named Navid involved. Who I first heard as “Davide” and rejoiced at as some kind of weird NCIS crossover. But the REAL major drama. “My water just broke. I think I’m going into labor.” Girl, please. As a future doctor, (OB/GYN) let me tell you, you do not think you’re going into labor. You know. Also, can’t they afford birth control in Beverly Hills? Also, why are you so skinny if you’re far enough into the pregnancy that you’re going into labor? My jealousy and confusion abounds.
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So now that I’m not actually caught up, let’s continue, shall we? (Naomi) Corsage girl in a green dress and a bad attempt at old Hollywood 1930s hair, tells Jen who is adjusting her makeup about how it’s no wonder that Liam has trust issues, what with his complicated family situation and walking in on “the billionaire screwing his mom last year”. Sensing she is not conveying her point she finishes with “Are you listening to me”. Jen responds with “Absolutely. Liam sounds great”. Oh, yay, the classic sign the other vapid blond girl isn’t listening to you. Yawn. I don’t know. I was listening. I’m sort of with the other vapid blond girl. I’m not quite sure how that story explains his trust issues unless Liam is a girl’s name and she is wary of entering a relationship with a billionaire because he might turn out to be a son of a bitch like the one who screwed his mom. And is it just me or is she cursing a lot? Listen writers, that doesn’t make you cool unless you’re Samuel L. Jackson and there are snakes on a plane.
So crazy eyebrow girl from before comes in all in a dither about the dissolution of their after prom party plans. I use the time while she’s talking to figure out that green dress is the Lisa ANTM look-alike from before. The money lending thing from before turns out to be snooty girl and Lisa sharing a house. Which is Naomi’s house because she paid for it and everything in it, something she makes clear to snooty girl. Well then. That was really bitchy and catty for no reason. By the way, I’ve done my wikipedia and imdb research and I still have no idea who the girl playing her “sister” is or even what her name is. It will probably make this recap confusing if she keeps popping up like this, so I’ll just keep calling her eyebrow girl. (I later learned her name is Phoebe and must have gotten confused about the sister thing.)
“You don’t want to do this, Naomi” snooty girl (Jen) threatens in a completely non-threatening manner. Or at least I think it’s non-threatening because I could knock her over with one punch, or a particularly strong gust of wind. Naomi turns to her, applying her lipstick with her lips gaping wide as though her respond will be to swallow snooty toothpick girl whole. I am vaguely intrigued. Instead she just turns to eyebrow girl and says “Let’s do it!” And I’m back to being bored. Naomi and snooty girl exchange angry/challenging stares which make them look like they’re both emaciated and have vision problems. Sexy. Not.
Naomi quickly sets about spreading the word about a party at her house. In a way that could only be considered covert if you think hunching forward slightly is the height of espionage. The girl in a blue dress Penelope, who she’s talking to points out that “Benedict Annie is right there”. Wow, busting out some American history right there. Poor Benedict Arnold. I’m just betting less than half the people who use him as a reference even know how he betrayed his country. But that’s not important right now. Naomi jumps to Annie’s defense saying she’s not the one who told. More dirty looks are exchanged between all of the girls as Penelope takes her crew and they leave. Sigh. This is like acting class 101. The only good part of this scene? Annie’s completely screengrab worthy sneer.
Annie and Naomi indulge in some mindless chatter. N: “I like that wrap by the way. You look really good tonight, I mean, like a model, a really short model, like a regular model standing in the distance, but you look good.” A: “Thank you, Naomi.” N: “Oh my God, anyone who’s anyone is going to be at my party tonight.” Blah blah. Annie doesn’t look like a model, but she does look really short. The wrap sort of looks like a fuzzy mushroom cap sitting on top of the rest of her body. AND WHO WEARS FUR WRAPS TO PROM??? I don’t know why I just thought of that. I guess I was just caught up in the excitement of the show. Honestly, wardrobe people, get it together.
N gets a text. Adrianna just went into labor. N: Oh my God. A: Oh my God. Genius writing. Naomi has to get to the hospital. She gets all hypocritical and repeats what snooty girl complained about before, making Annie promise to take care of her house and make sure no one vomits wine coolers on the rug. Who drinks wine coolers? Sigh… Annie assures her that she will and then urges her to go.
Some people are walking around in the parking lot. “Man, is it just me or do most limos look very similar?” one quips. Again, genius writing. You want sarcasm? He shall be the Oscar Wilde of our generation, his observations shaking our society to its core. Take that, limo boy (Ethan). Ethan is with Dixon and Erin Silver. Dixon is still bummed even though he won prom king because his girlfriend Erin, you remember, the one who made the comment about “weird, zombie, prom-loving losers”, thinks it’s stupid. We don’t have to worry about this because Annie charges up to announce that Adrianna is having her baby. To which limo boy responds “now?”. Oh, you’re just brilliant, aren’t you? Well I doubt Annie would interrupt this riveting conversation just to announce that Adrianna is expecting which I assume would be quite apparent at this stage of her pregnancy. Wait a minute. Yes, she would. Obviously she has arrived to answer my prayers and put this drivel to an end. Thanks, Annie. Oh wait, you’re just redirecting me back to the main plot of the episode. Damn you!
So because the limo situation is still unresolved, the whole group has to get a ride with eyebrow girl and some blond guy. Oh, by the way, eyebrow girl’s name is Phoebe. Phoebe doesn’t want to ride with a rat. Blond guy cajoles her to be a sport. She purses her lips. “Fine just don’t talk to me, or look at me.” Annie starts “Honestly, Pheebs”. “You’re talking and looking” Phoebe huffs, fluttering her hands. That could have been an awesome moment on another show.
Naomi’s with Liam in his car. She apologizes for abandoning him on prom night. He says it’s OK and that he’ll see her later that night. She happily concludes that he’s going to the party. Liam says since it’s her party he’s going. They kiss. My dog kicks his dish around. He is also not impressed. Liam finishes the kiss by comparing Naomi to his therapist, saying that in one night with her he’s told his whole life story (that boring and uneventful, huh?) while he’s barely said five words to his therapist in the $200 sessions his mom sends him to. Therapy and trust issues, now there’s a catch. Grab him while you can, Naomi. When the rest of the girls find out about this, well, let’s just say he’ll be a lot harder to hold on to. (Don’t read any innuendo into that.) And another side note, why are you wasting your $200 sessions? At least try to do something. Or arrange some kind of siphoning of the funds into your own pocket and stop going to therapy like on a better TV show. She laps it up and smiles at him in what I guess is supposed to be a seductive way but all I can focus on is how bony her shoulders and neck region are. Grab a bagel on your way to the hospital before you pass out. I should mention some lounge piano music is playing in the background. The guy playing disapproves highly of this show, but with his pension fund dried up he has to take all the work he can get. See, I can’t even get into the soundtrack of the show…Because from what I can tell, it doesn’t have one.
Liam continues with “This probably goes without saying but that stuff I said before was private.” Uh oh. I sense future drama. But Naomi puts on her serious face and replies “of course” shaking his hand and playfully agreeing upon “doctor-patient confidentiality”. He says “cool” and lifts the hand he was shaking to his lips for a kiss. Aw. Not really. Piano guy concurs and tells me that in his day men knew how to romance a lady more than that. He’s be quite charming if he didn’t keep nodding off every time the dialogue starts and drooling on the top of the piano.
“Oh my lord, that is just crazy,” says the black nurse into the phone at the hospital. I’ve got to say I like her uniform. They’re as ugly as normal scrubs but a very flattering purple color. Anyway, way to play into stereotypes 90210. “Excuse me,” a flustered guy that I assume is with Adriana tries to get in. She just holds up a hand and continues into the phone “Yeeah, I thought so. I told Caren I thought so.” “Ma’am, this is, this is pretty urgent,” he tries again and I notice the bruise beneath his eye leading me to believe he was in the fight earlier. All this detective work is making it feel like Law and Order. Damn, boy, don’t you know anything. You’ve got to sweet talk her. What’d you go calling her ma’am for? Stupid. She turns to him, purses her lips (so far she’s my favorite character) “What’s a matter, kid? You get in a fight on prom night? Well, I feel your pain, but it’s not urgent, okay? So take a seat and I’ll get to you when I get to you. Anyway,” she continues into the phone. “She says I never said a word to her. Which is ridiculous.”
Meanwhile, Adrianna in a very cute ruby/burgundy dress is clutching her stomach on a beige chair in the lounge/waiting area. “Oh my God, Navid, what is taking so long?” she cries, launching into a wail as labor pains/contractions hit again.
He finally takes the initiative and cuts off the nurse’s phone call saying mildly-angrily (remember the lack of acting skills thing?) “My girlfriend is having a baby.”
Black nurse turns to look at Adrianna who moves forward. “Oh. She’s having a baby.”
“Yes, she’s having a baby,” Navid replies frustrated. To which I reply, oh shut up, if anyone should be frustrated it’s the girl who’s pregnant and not getting anything to help with the pain right now.
“Yeah, I am having a baby,” Adrianna repeats, her forehead shiny and her face strained but her tiny arms belying her words. I withdraw my earlier comment about the dress, which has a rose explosion covering the bodice in a not-flattering way.
Cut back to “Prom A Palooza.” The (glee club?) in blue sweaters is singing beautiful dreamer. Rather well, but no one really cares. And then one guys starts beatboxing and they kick it up a notch in volume and jazz it up a bit. Sort of. Oh well, some people seem to like it, bopping along in the crowd. Whoever has organized this after prom has set up an ice cream station. This panning over the table leads into banter between Harry Wilson and Kelly Taylor about the vices of sugar and barbecue. I like it. No, it’s not at the magnitude of Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell but it’s nice to see people on screen who have some idea of how to act and convey emotion for a change.
Right, so…I know nothing about 90210. I’ve seen Shenae Grimes (Annie) on the few episodes of Degrassi I watched, Jennie Garth on the few episodes of What I Like About You That I Watched, and oh, look, there’s Lori Loughlin from Full House. Yeah… However, I can bring some soap opera expertise to the table as I did waste a summer of my life watching All My Children while obsessing over the Ryan/Greenlee situation while entranced by Cameron Mathison’s physique and brooding and Rebecca Budig’s childlike yet tough portrayal of Greenlee. But then she left the show to have a life and when she came back I couldn’t bring myself to clear up enough time in my schedule to watch. Hopefully, though, this is more like Law & Order and have a nice, clean, episodic breakdown that I can easily jump into. On that note…
Previously on 90210…Jennie Garth has Posh Spice/Victoria Beckham hair. Now honestly, who thought she’d be the most successful one to come out of that group? And Jennie’s rocking the look with a really cute bright red dress. I know nothing about the show but I’m assuming this is a school? My teachers do not dress like this. But I digress. “Your father called us yesterday.” “My stepfather.” Ooh, rebellious. Doing that whole, correcting her choice of words because that’s what all the tough, but sensitive emotionally rejected rich kids do. That is so totally Hamlet. Been there, done that. Bam!
Sorry about that. The kid who looks much too old to be attending high school is apparently in some trouble because stepdad (sure, I’ll go with it) requested his records and is browsing military schools. Oooh, military school. Why is that always the TV/TV movie/Hollywood movie answer to disciplining your children? And if you just need to send them away, boarding school. Seriously, why is that the best threat they can come up with? How about an impoverished nation somewhere in the jungle or desert with unclean and little drinking water where you have to teach children to speak English who are contemplating stealing your watch to sell for food? Do I have to think of everything?
Some blond women are sitting on couches. Apparently one is borrowing money from the other. One looks a bit like one of those California beach girl good looks type models. The other looks like an America’s Next Top Model reject. No, seriously, does anyone else who watches ANTM second me on that? Doesn’t the girl lending the money look a bit like cycle 5’s Lisa D’Amato? Who has a music career now (Lisa)??? What? The world is going to hell in a handbasket. I just listened to her song ‘The Ace of Spades’. OK, I listened to half of it. I couldn’t take it anymore.
Some young people are talking about drinking and wearing what appear to be really ugly dresses, but I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt because it’s a little dark in that shot. Did I just catch a glimpse of some glitter sequins? *Shudders* I take it back. Harry Wilson, people who play dads on TV are not allowed to say the word stoked and then get applauded. I’m assuming no one did because of his next words. Apparently he’ll be at after prom with the Beverly Hills police department. Regardless, let that be a lesson to you. No using the word ‘stoked’. I for one am shocked they were even having an “after prom”. I’m sure as hell not going to my after prom. And they’re living in posh Beverly hills (sarcasm). Well, anyway, the drama is apparently revolving around someone letting Harry into the whole after prom heavy drinking thing, and they know who it is. Annie. Or do they? *cue dramatic music* I say that because you never really know with these shows. It’s either the evil bitch ruining everyone’s night storyline. Or the innocent girl who everyone assumes is guilty storyline. Yawn.
Some girl whose name I don’t know, confronts Annie who replies with “Is that what everyone thinks?” And yes, she hasn’t learned to act since her time on Degrassi as uber-Christian, led astray into posting “sexy” *cough a la Miley Cyrus cough* pictures of herself online Darcy. “They don’t think. They know.” Like we’ve never heard that one before pissy, pale, poodle-haired girl with somewhat scary thick, dark eyebrows… Woo alliteration. “You’re a rat.” Now that I haven’t heard since those 1930s-1950s old movies I watch. What next? Are you going to accuse her of being a no-good, rotten fink? Surely you could come up with a better insult than that. Call her a snitch. I know a little bit of rap has to trickle into Beverly hills.
The sophomore Prom queen is Erin Silver! Her face lights up. Then she looks bored and sleepy. She reminds me of a cross between Amy Lee (Evanescence) and Taylor Vaughn (the mean girl in She’s All That)…and a narcoleptic dog. Oh wait, she’s being serious. I should be too. “I don’t know exactly who I am.” Why are you posing like a broken doll? (Thanks ANTM!) Now you remind me of Natalie from this cycle. Wait, damn it, focus! “But I do know who I am not.” Nice enunciation. Uh oh, she’s lifting her hands to the crown which is nice and big and shiny. Me like. “Some weird, zombie, prom-loving loser.” Aw, why’d you have to go and say that? The poor weird, zombie, prom-loving loser near you just made a sad puppy dog face. But other than that, amen, sister. If only you didn’t sound so sleepy and unauthoritative about it, I’d be right behind you.
“Why did you get me this corsage? You looked on my facebook page, didn’t you? You like me.” Which reminds me that my school made a facebook group for all the girls’ prom dresses so no one would get caught wearing the same thing. But then, I’d have to join facebook to look at it. Nevermind. Her conclusion does seem like a logical one, though. Very few self-respecting straight men would have any reason to go look up what corsage she wanted on her facebook page. Only one guy has checked out the prom dress page and his sexuality is questionable. If that question is ‘why do you keep pretending you’re straight’? Did I mention he wants to be Anna Wintour?
Big fight. With someone named Navid involved. Who I first heard as “Davide” and rejoiced at as some kind of weird NCIS crossover. But the REAL major drama. “My water just broke. I think I’m going into labor.” Girl, please. As a future doctor, (OB/GYN) let me tell you, you do not think you’re going into labor. You know. Also, can’t they afford birth control in Beverly Hills? Also, why are you so skinny if you’re far enough into the pregnancy that you’re going into labor? My jealousy and confusion abounds.
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So now that I’m not actually caught up, let’s continue, shall we? (Naomi) Corsage girl in a green dress and a bad attempt at old Hollywood 1930s hair, tells Jen who is adjusting her makeup about how it’s no wonder that Liam has trust issues, what with his complicated family situation and walking in on “the billionaire screwing his mom last year”. Sensing she is not conveying her point she finishes with “Are you listening to me”. Jen responds with “Absolutely. Liam sounds great”. Oh, yay, the classic sign the other vapid blond girl isn’t listening to you. Yawn. I don’t know. I was listening. I’m sort of with the other vapid blond girl. I’m not quite sure how that story explains his trust issues unless Liam is a girl’s name and she is wary of entering a relationship with a billionaire because he might turn out to be a son of a bitch like the one who screwed his mom. And is it just me or is she cursing a lot? Listen writers, that doesn’t make you cool unless you’re Samuel L. Jackson and there are snakes on a plane.
So crazy eyebrow girl from before comes in all in a dither about the dissolution of their after prom party plans. I use the time while she’s talking to figure out that green dress is the Lisa ANTM look-alike from before. The money lending thing from before turns out to be snooty girl and Lisa sharing a house. Which is Naomi’s house because she paid for it and everything in it, something she makes clear to snooty girl. Well then. That was really bitchy and catty for no reason. By the way, I’ve done my wikipedia and imdb research and I still have no idea who the girl playing her “sister” is or even what her name is. It will probably make this recap confusing if she keeps popping up like this, so I’ll just keep calling her eyebrow girl. (I later learned her name is Phoebe and must have gotten confused about the sister thing.)
“You don’t want to do this, Naomi” snooty girl (Jen) threatens in a completely non-threatening manner. Or at least I think it’s non-threatening because I could knock her over with one punch, or a particularly strong gust of wind. Naomi turns to her, applying her lipstick with her lips gaping wide as though her respond will be to swallow snooty toothpick girl whole. I am vaguely intrigued. Instead she just turns to eyebrow girl and says “Let’s do it!” And I’m back to being bored. Naomi and snooty girl exchange angry/challenging stares which make them look like they’re both emaciated and have vision problems. Sexy. Not.
Naomi quickly sets about spreading the word about a party at her house. In a way that could only be considered covert if you think hunching forward slightly is the height of espionage. The girl in a blue dress Penelope, who she’s talking to points out that “Benedict Annie is right there”. Wow, busting out some American history right there. Poor Benedict Arnold. I’m just betting less than half the people who use him as a reference even know how he betrayed his country. But that’s not important right now. Naomi jumps to Annie’s defense saying she’s not the one who told. More dirty looks are exchanged between all of the girls as Penelope takes her crew and they leave. Sigh. This is like acting class 101. The only good part of this scene? Annie’s completely screengrab worthy sneer.
Annie and Naomi indulge in some mindless chatter. N: “I like that wrap by the way. You look really good tonight, I mean, like a model, a really short model, like a regular model standing in the distance, but you look good.” A: “Thank you, Naomi.” N: “Oh my God, anyone who’s anyone is going to be at my party tonight.” Blah blah. Annie doesn’t look like a model, but she does look really short. The wrap sort of looks like a fuzzy mushroom cap sitting on top of the rest of her body. AND WHO WEARS FUR WRAPS TO PROM??? I don’t know why I just thought of that. I guess I was just caught up in the excitement of the show. Honestly, wardrobe people, get it together.
N gets a text. Adrianna just went into labor. N: Oh my God. A: Oh my God. Genius writing. Naomi has to get to the hospital. She gets all hypocritical and repeats what snooty girl complained about before, making Annie promise to take care of her house and make sure no one vomits wine coolers on the rug. Who drinks wine coolers? Sigh… Annie assures her that she will and then urges her to go.
Some people are walking around in the parking lot. “Man, is it just me or do most limos look very similar?” one quips. Again, genius writing. You want sarcasm? He shall be the Oscar Wilde of our generation, his observations shaking our society to its core. Take that, limo boy (Ethan). Ethan is with Dixon and Erin Silver. Dixon is still bummed even though he won prom king because his girlfriend Erin, you remember, the one who made the comment about “weird, zombie, prom-loving losers”, thinks it’s stupid. We don’t have to worry about this because Annie charges up to announce that Adrianna is having her baby. To which limo boy responds “now?”. Oh, you’re just brilliant, aren’t you? Well I doubt Annie would interrupt this riveting conversation just to announce that Adrianna is expecting which I assume would be quite apparent at this stage of her pregnancy. Wait a minute. Yes, she would. Obviously she has arrived to answer my prayers and put this drivel to an end. Thanks, Annie. Oh wait, you’re just redirecting me back to the main plot of the episode. Damn you!
So because the limo situation is still unresolved, the whole group has to get a ride with eyebrow girl and some blond guy. Oh, by the way, eyebrow girl’s name is Phoebe. Phoebe doesn’t want to ride with a rat. Blond guy cajoles her to be a sport. She purses her lips. “Fine just don’t talk to me, or look at me.” Annie starts “Honestly, Pheebs”. “You’re talking and looking” Phoebe huffs, fluttering her hands. That could have been an awesome moment on another show.
Naomi’s with Liam in his car. She apologizes for abandoning him on prom night. He says it’s OK and that he’ll see her later that night. She happily concludes that he’s going to the party. Liam says since it’s her party he’s going. They kiss. My dog kicks his dish around. He is also not impressed. Liam finishes the kiss by comparing Naomi to his therapist, saying that in one night with her he’s told his whole life story (that boring and uneventful, huh?) while he’s barely said five words to his therapist in the $200 sessions his mom sends him to. Therapy and trust issues, now there’s a catch. Grab him while you can, Naomi. When the rest of the girls find out about this, well, let’s just say he’ll be a lot harder to hold on to. (Don’t read any innuendo into that.) And another side note, why are you wasting your $200 sessions? At least try to do something. Or arrange some kind of siphoning of the funds into your own pocket and stop going to therapy like on a better TV show. She laps it up and smiles at him in what I guess is supposed to be a seductive way but all I can focus on is how bony her shoulders and neck region are. Grab a bagel on your way to the hospital before you pass out. I should mention some lounge piano music is playing in the background. The guy playing disapproves highly of this show, but with his pension fund dried up he has to take all the work he can get. See, I can’t even get into the soundtrack of the show…Because from what I can tell, it doesn’t have one.
Liam continues with “This probably goes without saying but that stuff I said before was private.” Uh oh. I sense future drama. But Naomi puts on her serious face and replies “of course” shaking his hand and playfully agreeing upon “doctor-patient confidentiality”. He says “cool” and lifts the hand he was shaking to his lips for a kiss. Aw. Not really. Piano guy concurs and tells me that in his day men knew how to romance a lady more than that. He’s be quite charming if he didn’t keep nodding off every time the dialogue starts and drooling on the top of the piano.
“Oh my lord, that is just crazy,” says the black nurse into the phone at the hospital. I’ve got to say I like her uniform. They’re as ugly as normal scrubs but a very flattering purple color. Anyway, way to play into stereotypes 90210. “Excuse me,” a flustered guy that I assume is with Adriana tries to get in. She just holds up a hand and continues into the phone “Yeeah, I thought so. I told Caren I thought so.” “Ma’am, this is, this is pretty urgent,” he tries again and I notice the bruise beneath his eye leading me to believe he was in the fight earlier. All this detective work is making it feel like Law and Order. Damn, boy, don’t you know anything. You’ve got to sweet talk her. What’d you go calling her ma’am for? Stupid. She turns to him, purses her lips (so far she’s my favorite character) “What’s a matter, kid? You get in a fight on prom night? Well, I feel your pain, but it’s not urgent, okay? So take a seat and I’ll get to you when I get to you. Anyway,” she continues into the phone. “She says I never said a word to her. Which is ridiculous.”
Meanwhile, Adrianna in a very cute ruby/burgundy dress is clutching her stomach on a beige chair in the lounge/waiting area. “Oh my God, Navid, what is taking so long?” she cries, launching into a wail as labor pains/contractions hit again.
He finally takes the initiative and cuts off the nurse’s phone call saying mildly-angrily (remember the lack of acting skills thing?) “My girlfriend is having a baby.”
Black nurse turns to look at Adrianna who moves forward. “Oh. She’s having a baby.”
“Yes, she’s having a baby,” Navid replies frustrated. To which I reply, oh shut up, if anyone should be frustrated it’s the girl who’s pregnant and not getting anything to help with the pain right now.
“Yeah, I am having a baby,” Adrianna repeats, her forehead shiny and her face strained but her tiny arms belying her words. I withdraw my earlier comment about the dress, which has a rose explosion covering the bodice in a not-flattering way.
Cut back to “Prom A Palooza.” The (glee club?) in blue sweaters is singing beautiful dreamer. Rather well, but no one really cares. And then one guys starts beatboxing and they kick it up a notch in volume and jazz it up a bit. Sort of. Oh well, some people seem to like it, bopping along in the crowd. Whoever has organized this after prom has set up an ice cream station. This panning over the table leads into banter between Harry Wilson and Kelly Taylor about the vices of sugar and barbecue. I like it. No, it’s not at the magnitude of Cary Grant and Rosalind Russell but it’s nice to see people on screen who have some idea of how to act and convey emotion for a change.