flipit
09-05-2009, 02:22 PM
We start off the show with Kate arriving at a dude ranch in Wyoming, it's a boys only trip. They arrive at the ranch and see some horses and cows…Aaden yells "this horse looks like a cow" then his brother tells him "that's because it's a horse-cow" awww..how cute. Aaden introduces himself to the horse-cow and yells "hi horse-cow we're from under the sea" a-la Little Mermaid. All the boys are holding these containers that contain grasshoppers, Aaden drops his container, and off pops the lid and out hops the grasshopper...freedom at last, but Aaden finds the grasshopper and the poor grasshopper is placed back in his prison. Kate and the boys start walking with the Farmer, who is asked by one of the boys, if he's a farmer...he's not a farmer but a Rancher whose name is Bob. There is a difference my friends...farmers grow food, ranchers grow Cattle. "What's Cattle?" the boys ask…steaks and hamburgers replies Rancher Bob...and if the boys don't ever eat red meet again we know who to blame.
Next segment Kate is sitting in the interviewee chair, wearing a pepto bismo colored pink cowgirl hat, the theme is country folks, tells us that Ranchers Bob and his partna Lulu are married and have put their heart and soul into the ranch.
Back at the ranch, Kate and the boys along with Rancher Bob are entering a huge pen where they keep the chickens. On a side note, girls ... if you ever visit a ranch, please wear appropriate clothing, because hussy wear is not the type of clothing you want to wear at a ranch...okay? Kate sporting high heeled boots, looks at the pen in distress…omg who would have thunk…that a pen would consist of a dirt floor, she looks at the camera and says "something is telling me I shouldn't do this", so rancher Bob tells Kate "this is really not high heeled country"...ya think? Rancher Bob instructs the boys to take the lids off of their containers and out hops the grasshoppers….buh-bye and nice knowing you…and the chickens go in for the kill. Kate turns to rancher Bob and says "tomorrow I'll be wearing appropriate shoes"...rancher Bob takes one look at Kates get-up and basically says how she needs to wear appropriate clothing....watch out Lulu, there’s a new hussy in this town!
Back at the manse…while Kate is at the dude ranch with the boys, Jon is at home with the girls. Jon and the girls are outside their house, getting ready to play a game of scavenger hunt. They have little sheets with pictures of objects they need to find ... did Jon ever finish grammar school? Anywho, they break off in teams. Jon is with Alexis, Cara with Leah and Mady with Hannah. They have one hour to find everything and will meet back on the driveway when the time is up. Some of the things they have to find are purple flower, brown rock, lady bug, worm…Jon finds the worm and shouts to Alexis "I found one" and Alexis asks if she can touch it. Funny, she gets to touch, hug and kiss a worm every other weekend. The difficult task is finding the frog Mady says in a huff “how are we supposed to find a frog…I don’t’ know how to draw a frog (points to her sister), she doesn’t know how to draw a frog..AND we don’t know where to get a frog." The winner of the scavenger hunt gets to pick any dessert they want. And the winner is….drum roll please….IT’S A TIE…Mady and Cara’s team win, which leaves Jon and Alexis the losers. A title that will forever be associated with Jon ... just ask Kate.
Back at El Rancho…the boys are going to ride on some ATV’s. Rancher Bob explains the controls to Kate, and one of the boys sits on the ATV with her (rest assured helmets were used for all the boys) waiting for the ride. Kate says how sometimes she feels she has a “need for speed” and she speeds off…now that's one fast hussy!
Day Two at the Ranch. Kate is decked out in her "appropriate" clothing and looks like a country girl gone bad, cowboy hat, very pink cowgirl shirt, jeans and semi pink cowgirl boots. The three boys are dressed like mini versions of Kate, but wayyy cuter, and without all the pink. They meet with a new person, Cowboy Clay who is waiting for them in a horse barn. Cowboy Clay introduces them to his wife Tammy and proceeds to give Kate a list of rules for riding horses. Rule No. 1, no screaming (does he know who he is talking to?). The horses can feel how you are feeling, so the best thing to do is stay easy. Tammy explains how they have mountain lions in the region, and when they attack the screaming noise they make puts the horses in defense mode. Kate tells them how “screaming is the same as breathing” to her (rolls eyes). Time to get on the horses. Kate's horse is named Banjo, she hesitantly gets on. Before the boys get on their horses, one of the horses does a big ole fashioned poop….ill..ill…the boys exclaim, and Aaden asks if it’s poop, then covers his nose. Kate is on her horse and Cowboy Clay explains to Kate how to use the reins which she holds to tight, the horse jerks and Kate lets out a yelp. Cowboy Clay shakes his head and laughs and tells her to get the screaming out of the way, and says “where’s the mountain lion”..apparently even Kate has scared the mountain lions away.
Back to the manse, Jon, Alexis, Hannah and Leah are going on a trip to the Dentist (now that's one trip I hate to take..ouch). Mady and Cara have stayed home with the sitter. They arrive at the dentist's office and get to pick what candy flavored gloves and toothpaste they want. Then they get their teeth cleaned. Hannah is finished and walks to her Dad for a kiss, she says she loves to give kisses to her daddy, whenever she sees him, and tvgasm readers I have to say that, that really touches my heart. Alexis has one cavity and Leah has two. Pan to Jon in the interviewee chair, he explains how when Alexis hears Leah has two cavities she says it’s not fair, that Leah has two and she only has one…ha.ha..ha…you gotta love kids. Hannah has none.
Back at the Ranch, Cowboy Clay is instructing Kate on how to maneuver the horse around the ring. The boys are each on their own horses and they are being led around the ring, and they look adorable. They stay 45 minutes on the horses which is a world record for little hyper five year olds and say goodbye to their horses.
Next segment the boys stay at the ranch, Kate says she's going to take a ride on her horse, in the "real" world, as opposed to the fake one we've been watching. The boys stay alone with the Ranchers and this leads Aaden to say “we can do whatever we want because Mommy’s gone, ” it's par-tay time for the boys. The boys get a chance to play with a goat, which like the chicken yearns to be free of the grasp of children and escapes (ahem...Jon) Collin thinks he's the best cowboy cause he saved the goat but I'm not so sure when right after he says aye aye captain. Kate questions whether the goat escaped "accidentally", wonder why she thinks of such things...lol
Kate goes horseback riding and is schooled on how horses just hang around a circle and is shocked they don't try to escape like the chicken and goat. She's never ridden before and is terrified but is calmed by the beautiful view that she only thought existed in picture shows and photos. She is "seriously amazed" and thrilled that no paparrazzi are around.
Next the boys are given kittens to torture. Anyone want to bet one tries to escape, lol. The boys are asked if they took care of them, yeah, they took care of them alright. They were actually alot more gentle, the cats didn't run away quite as fast as I thought they would. Kate then assures us that no cats were hurt during the taping of that episode, she forgets to add that it's cause he was too fast for them to catch.
Kate and the boys then head off on a hike with Lulu to see a real lions den. Sounds scary for kids. Then Kate, being her corny self climbs to the top of a rock with the boys and says, ugh, "I'm the king of the world" I know.
The boys repeat, I have to admit it's cute when they say it. The terrain begins to get rough and one of the boys trips and falls. Kate dramatically says she just lost a life on that one. huh? Is it because she thought he was hurt or that he got dirt on his white shirt. Lulu then sees a cave and says lets take a look at that cave. Kate, tired from walking so long, asks anxiously if this was THE cave and the lady nods her head no. Hello...why bother to check it out then? Are they really looking for a lions den because I'm starting to think this is Lulu's way of tiring the lot of them out so she doesn't have to deal with them back at the ranch. The boys find the skeletal remains of a deer and want to bring it back home to show the girls. I'm sure they'll be thrilled.
Back at the manse Jon is making those fake phones kids make with cans and string and supposedly you can hear the person on the other end. Jon's sooo much fun, this is something he says he's always wanted to do. Mady's a bit skeptical, she doesn't see how it can possibly work. My moneys with Mady. Omg! It worked?! At least it seemed like it did. Jon has more money than I do so we'll just forget that little bet.
Back on the trail Kate and the boys finally find the lions den and wow, are there alot of carcasses around. I'm surprised they have any cattle/horses left on that ranch. Kate likes being there, she thinks it was worth the long walk to see all those bones. Maybe the California authorities should be looking under Kates floorboard for those missing prostitutes (that Jon may have brought home?) just kidding. After pointing out what kind of carcasses were lying there they begin their long journey back to the ranch. Then Lulu says that the walk back is short. That made me think of trips to great adventures as a kid and how the ride home always seemed shorter, does anyone know why that is? Moving on...Kate is amazed that none of the boys wanted to be carried, it's a fact! They did not want to be carried. Kate says they are officially men. The boys ARE tough, just ask the chicken, goat and cats
Kates off to the shooting range. No doubt with pictures of paparrazzi, Hailey and Jon dancing in her head. It's her first time and by that smirk I'd say she was looking forward to it. She says it's time for her to let out her aggression. She tells Tony, the firearm instructor, to take cover. I wouldn't laugh Tony, she's been under alot of stress. She says she never thought she'd ever handle a gun and thinks it's dangerous but that's not stopping ma Gosselin. She tells Tony she saw shooting on the list of activities and thought it was something she should do. Kate and Jon apparently shouldn't be together: Jon's to do list: make phone on a string: Kates to do list: firing range. Tony offers to put pics up of Rancher Bob as a target. I guess Tony and Rancher Bob aren't friends. Next she fires a colt 45, and she liked it, very much. She has a big grin on her face and a look like she's proud of herself. She shot a whole box and loved it. She hit her target twice. While Kate learned to shoot the boys helped Lulu on the ranch, gathering eggs. They find two eggs and Collin accidentally drops one and it breaks. They tell Lulu it can be cleaned up with a napkin but she tells them to leave it, the CHICKENS WILL EAT IT!! WHAT!! So wrong. Kate and the boys then go to the horse coral to play some games. The winner gets hugs. I'd have to see who's hugging me before I say that's a worthy prize. If I could show you a pic of the rancher, trust me he is no prize. They are lucky the boys are five cause hugs work for them, Joel wants a hug even before the game begins. It's the first annual rainy day rodeo game thingy, okay it's late and i'm tired. The first game is to hold an egg on a spoon, while riding horseback and going around barrels. The boys can't do it and the game turns into and egg fight.
On their last night at the ranch they attend a rodeo. For Kate it's a "real" rodeo, again not a fake one. There's a sign that reads Road Kill Cantina. Sounds like a good place to eat. I think Alden (the chef at the ranch?) said they were serving them the neighbors Collie. Kate's delighted and it makes her hungry. Kate is then given a choice between a chickens foot and ringing the dinner bell. She chose the dinner bell and then her dominatrix side is shown as she tells Alden she is going to beat him with the stick he gave her to ring the bell. Alden's into it, he wants her to promise. Kate says she picks a little on him, he picks a little back, sounds kinky.
Back at the manse, Jon informs us that Mady and Cara want to do a concert but that HE wants to play dress up. Just when I thought he got his balls back. He teaches the girls how to accessorize and the best way to wear the dresses. He says he doesn't want to dress like a girl, yeah, okay. He asks if he looks like mommy. Uh....no.....you don't. Well, if you count the pink pepto bismo dress, maybe. I would've never pictured Jon as a quaker drag, he seems more like a fishnet stocking, pleather skirt, bustier type, idk. I guess that would be inappropriate in front of the girls. Plus they are filming for the show, not whoring himself out to the media and Pennsylvania is quaker country, I guess he fits right in then. He says he dons the dress to please his girls. Baby steps, people. The girls are delighted to see their dad dressed in drag. They say their favorite part of dressing up was being like a rock star, too cute!! Mady takes center stage, while Cara as usual plays back up. Jon says he loves being with his children but also loves being in New York cause it's quiet. Yes, you read that right, quiet. I live in New York City and it's anything but quiet, but he says that's where he gets things done, like hosting parties at nightclubs, nice. He says things are finally starting to fall into place as far as visitation rights, learning to balance being a dad, divorce blah blah blah .
Back at the cantina, Kate is serving her boys chicken feet, toenails and all, yikes. Joel thinks it's disgusting, I agree. I'm just glad Kate's a nurse and knows the heimlich maneuver. It's their last night at the ranch, there's dancing, singing and a big bonfire. Kate disses a rancher and doesn't dance with him cause she's too tired. All that shooting wears a person out. Kate thinks it was a wonderful trip and a great bonding experience. Oh, did you think she meant bonding with the boys, no, she bonded with the other guests at the ranch. In her words "it was so neat" Kate, again with the dramatics, says how honored she is to have taken this trip with the boys. She says she is now a cowgirl and before her very own eyes the boys are now cowboys.
Until the next time partna's (i know that sounded as lame as Kate's attempt) hopefully there's a next time. Bye ya'll
MiChi
Next segment Kate is sitting in the interviewee chair, wearing a pepto bismo colored pink cowgirl hat, the theme is country folks, tells us that Ranchers Bob and his partna Lulu are married and have put their heart and soul into the ranch.
Back at the ranch, Kate and the boys along with Rancher Bob are entering a huge pen where they keep the chickens. On a side note, girls ... if you ever visit a ranch, please wear appropriate clothing, because hussy wear is not the type of clothing you want to wear at a ranch...okay? Kate sporting high heeled boots, looks at the pen in distress…omg who would have thunk…that a pen would consist of a dirt floor, she looks at the camera and says "something is telling me I shouldn't do this", so rancher Bob tells Kate "this is really not high heeled country"...ya think? Rancher Bob instructs the boys to take the lids off of their containers and out hops the grasshoppers….buh-bye and nice knowing you…and the chickens go in for the kill. Kate turns to rancher Bob and says "tomorrow I'll be wearing appropriate shoes"...rancher Bob takes one look at Kates get-up and basically says how she needs to wear appropriate clothing....watch out Lulu, there’s a new hussy in this town!
Back at the manse…while Kate is at the dude ranch with the boys, Jon is at home with the girls. Jon and the girls are outside their house, getting ready to play a game of scavenger hunt. They have little sheets with pictures of objects they need to find ... did Jon ever finish grammar school? Anywho, they break off in teams. Jon is with Alexis, Cara with Leah and Mady with Hannah. They have one hour to find everything and will meet back on the driveway when the time is up. Some of the things they have to find are purple flower, brown rock, lady bug, worm…Jon finds the worm and shouts to Alexis "I found one" and Alexis asks if she can touch it. Funny, she gets to touch, hug and kiss a worm every other weekend. The difficult task is finding the frog Mady says in a huff “how are we supposed to find a frog…I don’t’ know how to draw a frog (points to her sister), she doesn’t know how to draw a frog..AND we don’t know where to get a frog." The winner of the scavenger hunt gets to pick any dessert they want. And the winner is….drum roll please….IT’S A TIE…Mady and Cara’s team win, which leaves Jon and Alexis the losers. A title that will forever be associated with Jon ... just ask Kate.
Back at El Rancho…the boys are going to ride on some ATV’s. Rancher Bob explains the controls to Kate, and one of the boys sits on the ATV with her (rest assured helmets were used for all the boys) waiting for the ride. Kate says how sometimes she feels she has a “need for speed” and she speeds off…now that's one fast hussy!
Day Two at the Ranch. Kate is decked out in her "appropriate" clothing and looks like a country girl gone bad, cowboy hat, very pink cowgirl shirt, jeans and semi pink cowgirl boots. The three boys are dressed like mini versions of Kate, but wayyy cuter, and without all the pink. They meet with a new person, Cowboy Clay who is waiting for them in a horse barn. Cowboy Clay introduces them to his wife Tammy and proceeds to give Kate a list of rules for riding horses. Rule No. 1, no screaming (does he know who he is talking to?). The horses can feel how you are feeling, so the best thing to do is stay easy. Tammy explains how they have mountain lions in the region, and when they attack the screaming noise they make puts the horses in defense mode. Kate tells them how “screaming is the same as breathing” to her (rolls eyes). Time to get on the horses. Kate's horse is named Banjo, she hesitantly gets on. Before the boys get on their horses, one of the horses does a big ole fashioned poop….ill..ill…the boys exclaim, and Aaden asks if it’s poop, then covers his nose. Kate is on her horse and Cowboy Clay explains to Kate how to use the reins which she holds to tight, the horse jerks and Kate lets out a yelp. Cowboy Clay shakes his head and laughs and tells her to get the screaming out of the way, and says “where’s the mountain lion”..apparently even Kate has scared the mountain lions away.
Back to the manse, Jon, Alexis, Hannah and Leah are going on a trip to the Dentist (now that's one trip I hate to take..ouch). Mady and Cara have stayed home with the sitter. They arrive at the dentist's office and get to pick what candy flavored gloves and toothpaste they want. Then they get their teeth cleaned. Hannah is finished and walks to her Dad for a kiss, she says she loves to give kisses to her daddy, whenever she sees him, and tvgasm readers I have to say that, that really touches my heart. Alexis has one cavity and Leah has two. Pan to Jon in the interviewee chair, he explains how when Alexis hears Leah has two cavities she says it’s not fair, that Leah has two and she only has one…ha.ha..ha…you gotta love kids. Hannah has none.
Back at the Ranch, Cowboy Clay is instructing Kate on how to maneuver the horse around the ring. The boys are each on their own horses and they are being led around the ring, and they look adorable. They stay 45 minutes on the horses which is a world record for little hyper five year olds and say goodbye to their horses.
Next segment the boys stay at the ranch, Kate says she's going to take a ride on her horse, in the "real" world, as opposed to the fake one we've been watching. The boys stay alone with the Ranchers and this leads Aaden to say “we can do whatever we want because Mommy’s gone, ” it's par-tay time for the boys. The boys get a chance to play with a goat, which like the chicken yearns to be free of the grasp of children and escapes (ahem...Jon) Collin thinks he's the best cowboy cause he saved the goat but I'm not so sure when right after he says aye aye captain. Kate questions whether the goat escaped "accidentally", wonder why she thinks of such things...lol
Kate goes horseback riding and is schooled on how horses just hang around a circle and is shocked they don't try to escape like the chicken and goat. She's never ridden before and is terrified but is calmed by the beautiful view that she only thought existed in picture shows and photos. She is "seriously amazed" and thrilled that no paparrazzi are around.
Next the boys are given kittens to torture. Anyone want to bet one tries to escape, lol. The boys are asked if they took care of them, yeah, they took care of them alright. They were actually alot more gentle, the cats didn't run away quite as fast as I thought they would. Kate then assures us that no cats were hurt during the taping of that episode, she forgets to add that it's cause he was too fast for them to catch.
Kate and the boys then head off on a hike with Lulu to see a real lions den. Sounds scary for kids. Then Kate, being her corny self climbs to the top of a rock with the boys and says, ugh, "I'm the king of the world" I know.
The boys repeat, I have to admit it's cute when they say it. The terrain begins to get rough and one of the boys trips and falls. Kate dramatically says she just lost a life on that one. huh? Is it because she thought he was hurt or that he got dirt on his white shirt. Lulu then sees a cave and says lets take a look at that cave. Kate, tired from walking so long, asks anxiously if this was THE cave and the lady nods her head no. Hello...why bother to check it out then? Are they really looking for a lions den because I'm starting to think this is Lulu's way of tiring the lot of them out so she doesn't have to deal with them back at the ranch. The boys find the skeletal remains of a deer and want to bring it back home to show the girls. I'm sure they'll be thrilled.
Back at the manse Jon is making those fake phones kids make with cans and string and supposedly you can hear the person on the other end. Jon's sooo much fun, this is something he says he's always wanted to do. Mady's a bit skeptical, she doesn't see how it can possibly work. My moneys with Mady. Omg! It worked?! At least it seemed like it did. Jon has more money than I do so we'll just forget that little bet.
Back on the trail Kate and the boys finally find the lions den and wow, are there alot of carcasses around. I'm surprised they have any cattle/horses left on that ranch. Kate likes being there, she thinks it was worth the long walk to see all those bones. Maybe the California authorities should be looking under Kates floorboard for those missing prostitutes (that Jon may have brought home?) just kidding. After pointing out what kind of carcasses were lying there they begin their long journey back to the ranch. Then Lulu says that the walk back is short. That made me think of trips to great adventures as a kid and how the ride home always seemed shorter, does anyone know why that is? Moving on...Kate is amazed that none of the boys wanted to be carried, it's a fact! They did not want to be carried. Kate says they are officially men. The boys ARE tough, just ask the chicken, goat and cats
Kates off to the shooting range. No doubt with pictures of paparrazzi, Hailey and Jon dancing in her head. It's her first time and by that smirk I'd say she was looking forward to it. She says it's time for her to let out her aggression. She tells Tony, the firearm instructor, to take cover. I wouldn't laugh Tony, she's been under alot of stress. She says she never thought she'd ever handle a gun and thinks it's dangerous but that's not stopping ma Gosselin. She tells Tony she saw shooting on the list of activities and thought it was something she should do. Kate and Jon apparently shouldn't be together: Jon's to do list: make phone on a string: Kates to do list: firing range. Tony offers to put pics up of Rancher Bob as a target. I guess Tony and Rancher Bob aren't friends. Next she fires a colt 45, and she liked it, very much. She has a big grin on her face and a look like she's proud of herself. She shot a whole box and loved it. She hit her target twice. While Kate learned to shoot the boys helped Lulu on the ranch, gathering eggs. They find two eggs and Collin accidentally drops one and it breaks. They tell Lulu it can be cleaned up with a napkin but she tells them to leave it, the CHICKENS WILL EAT IT!! WHAT!! So wrong. Kate and the boys then go to the horse coral to play some games. The winner gets hugs. I'd have to see who's hugging me before I say that's a worthy prize. If I could show you a pic of the rancher, trust me he is no prize. They are lucky the boys are five cause hugs work for them, Joel wants a hug even before the game begins. It's the first annual rainy day rodeo game thingy, okay it's late and i'm tired. The first game is to hold an egg on a spoon, while riding horseback and going around barrels. The boys can't do it and the game turns into and egg fight.
On their last night at the ranch they attend a rodeo. For Kate it's a "real" rodeo, again not a fake one. There's a sign that reads Road Kill Cantina. Sounds like a good place to eat. I think Alden (the chef at the ranch?) said they were serving them the neighbors Collie. Kate's delighted and it makes her hungry. Kate is then given a choice between a chickens foot and ringing the dinner bell. She chose the dinner bell and then her dominatrix side is shown as she tells Alden she is going to beat him with the stick he gave her to ring the bell. Alden's into it, he wants her to promise. Kate says she picks a little on him, he picks a little back, sounds kinky.
Back at the manse, Jon informs us that Mady and Cara want to do a concert but that HE wants to play dress up. Just when I thought he got his balls back. He teaches the girls how to accessorize and the best way to wear the dresses. He says he doesn't want to dress like a girl, yeah, okay. He asks if he looks like mommy. Uh....no.....you don't. Well, if you count the pink pepto bismo dress, maybe. I would've never pictured Jon as a quaker drag, he seems more like a fishnet stocking, pleather skirt, bustier type, idk. I guess that would be inappropriate in front of the girls. Plus they are filming for the show, not whoring himself out to the media and Pennsylvania is quaker country, I guess he fits right in then. He says he dons the dress to please his girls. Baby steps, people. The girls are delighted to see their dad dressed in drag. They say their favorite part of dressing up was being like a rock star, too cute!! Mady takes center stage, while Cara as usual plays back up. Jon says he loves being with his children but also loves being in New York cause it's quiet. Yes, you read that right, quiet. I live in New York City and it's anything but quiet, but he says that's where he gets things done, like hosting parties at nightclubs, nice. He says things are finally starting to fall into place as far as visitation rights, learning to balance being a dad, divorce blah blah blah .
Back at the cantina, Kate is serving her boys chicken feet, toenails and all, yikes. Joel thinks it's disgusting, I agree. I'm just glad Kate's a nurse and knows the heimlich maneuver. It's their last night at the ranch, there's dancing, singing and a big bonfire. Kate disses a rancher and doesn't dance with him cause she's too tired. All that shooting wears a person out. Kate thinks it was a wonderful trip and a great bonding experience. Oh, did you think she meant bonding with the boys, no, she bonded with the other guests at the ranch. In her words "it was so neat" Kate, again with the dramatics, says how honored she is to have taken this trip with the boys. She says she is now a cowgirl and before her very own eyes the boys are now cowboys.
Until the next time partna's (i know that sounded as lame as Kate's attempt) hopefully there's a next time. Bye ya'll
MiChi