Ugly Betty by Kelly

[B-Side]

Ugly Betty Recap
10-19-06 episode

This is the fourth episode of Ugly Betty. It’s also the first that didn’t feel exactly like “The Devil Wears Prada.” Don’t get me wrong, I loved “The Devil Wears Prada,” and I might love Ugly Betty, but there’s no denying that there were some remarkably similar plot lines. Instead, this episode felt remarkably similar to an episode of “Less Than Perfect”, the ABC sitcom starring Sara Rue and Andy Dick that was tragically cancelled. And yes, I did watch “Less Than Perfect,” and yes, it aired on Friday nights, and no, I am not embarrassed that I sat at home to watch it, or that I kind of loved Sara Rue, right up until she lost all that weight, which totally ruined the point of the show. So my “Less Than Perfect” sidebar is actually relevant because Ugly Betty, be warned: if Betty stays geeky and awkward, you have a chance at my love, but go all Sara Rue on us, and I will have to break up with you to watch Survivor: Race Wars (which I already watch anyway, thanks to Tivo, so it’s kind of an idle threat, but you get the point).

In this episode, Betty goes to a magazine assistant networking night with Amanda (the receptionist at Mode Magazine where Betty is assistant to the editor) and Mark (another assistant). Marc and Amanda only bring Betty along to make fun of her, and much to their glee, Betty immediately hones in on a table of grilled cheese sandwiches. In my opinion, grilled cheese sandwiches are a horrible choice for bar food – they are delicious right off the grill, but then get greasy and cold. I personally prefer bar food that does not congeal, although I would eat deep fried mozzarella sticks any day, anywhere. But that’s neither here nor here, as Betty tries to bond with another assistant who despite her normal sized body is known around Mode as “Fat Carol”.

Anyone else in the world would know that things are bad when they get dissed by the girl known as Fat Carol. But not Sweet Betty. Sweet Betty just takes another bite of her congealed cheese sandwich and shrugs it off. I haven’t seen a character less able to pick up on social clues since the episode of “Will & Grace” where they were in college and Grace didn’t know Will was gay even though it was so totally obvi. But it seems to pay off for Betty, who is almost immediately approached by the handsome Carlos Medina, assistant to the editor-in-chief at Isabella, a rival magazine. Betty soon finds herself quite popular and the belle of the assistants ball.

Meanwhile, Daniel (editor of Mode) and Wilhelmina (his arch rival) are planning the big Mode Christmas spread. The theme is Post-Apocalyptic Christmas, and they plan to have models in camouflage and flak jackets posing with burned out tanks in a desert. Sure, that sounds festive and all, but I can’t believe they rejected “Lots of Kids Are Starving in Africa but Where Are My Presents” and “Remember the Tsunami, That Happened Around Christmas and Lots of People Lost Everything, but Shut Up and Drink More Eggnog, Dad”, which seem much more fitting for the holiday season.

Bradford (Daniel’s father and head of a magazine conglomerate) must have thought so, too, because even though he stops by to approve the layout, he seems uninterested in what is actually happening. Could he be distracted by Vanessa William’s fabulous up-do? At first I thought so, but Bradford is actually distracted by a red jewelry box that is missing from his office. What is going on with this jewelry box? We find out more when Wilhelmina goes to visit a mysterious woman, who will hereafter be known as Mysterious Woman (or MW) in her Mysterious Get Smart Lair ™. We don’t see how she enters the lair, so I can’t confirm it involves clanging gates and prison doors like Get Smart, but that’s how I picture it. MW is probably Fey Sommers, the former editor of Mode who was “killed” (as in “not killed”) in a fiery car crash that Bradford may or may not have had some part in. But until I know 100% that MW is Fey Sommers, I will continue to call her MW, because it’s so much more mysterious. Anyway, Wilhelmina tells MW that they have the missing music box. Cue the Evil Mysterious Music!

The next day, Justin (Betty’s nephew) goes to work with Betty to research a paper he has to write for school on someone he admires. Justin loves Mode – there’s a cute little moment when Marc bonds with Justin for knowing that Amanda’s shoes are Manolos from two seasons ago. But honestly, can assistants in fashion magazines afford up-to-the-minute $700 shoes? And if so, should I be embarrassed that I am currently wearing two year old sparkly gold flip flops from Target? (answer: no, because Target rules)

Anyway, there’s a crisis at Mode -- someone from Isabelle Magazine has stolen the idea for the Post-Apocalyptic Christmas spread and has hired away all the models, clothes and props, and there’s a hunt at the magazine to find out who leaked. Betty wants to confess, but Marc and Amanda stop her. “Why,” you ask? “Isn’t honesty the best policy?” Oh, naïve reader, maybe it is where you live, but not in the world of New York high fashion. New York high fashion is all about deception, lies, and anorexia. And so far Betty is an outcast because she knows nothing about any of those. But she’ll soon learn! Now that we’ve covered lying, I can hardly wait for the episode “Puking: It’s Not Just for the Stomach Flu Anymore”. Anyway, we learn that Betty, Marc and Amanda all talked to Carlos and each gave him a different piece of the layout, but none of them gave him the whole picture. Amanda and Marc are convinced that someone else spilled the beans, and that person should take the fall.

Meanwhile, back in Queens, Ignacio, Betty’s father, is giving Walter (Betty’s ex-boyfriend) advice on how to win Betty back. It might seem kind of Ignacio to try to help out, but it’s unclear to me why Ignacio would want his daughter to get back together with a nerd who cheated on her. Everyone knows that nerds should be faithful, as only really hot guys are allowed to cheat and get away with it. But Ignacio’s words of wisdom are cut short by a call from his HMO. He cancels his doctor’s appointment, which is very suspicious, since Betty’s been trying to get this appointment for ages. This show is just filled with mysteries, including another call from MW, who tells Daniel that his father has many secrets, including one involving a jewelry box. Back at Mode, everyone is working like crazy. Actually, they just seem to be eating a lot and trying on cheesy fake reindeer antlers. But if you put this all together in really fast cuts, it looks like the pressure is on.

That night, Amanda and Marc show up at Betty’s doorstep. Almost every episode has someone showing up on the doorstep of Betty’s house in Queens. Listen, Show, I lived in New York for years and never made it out to Queens. No one makes it out to Queens. If you want to be in touch with someone who lives in Queens after hours, you have a conference call. But Amanda and Marc, they make it to Queens. I hope Amanda didn’t wear the two year old Manolos, because people in Queens don’t stand for that kind of nonsense. While in Queens, Amanda learns what flan is, which strikes me as more ridiculous than a trip to Queens. I grew up in Missouri, where Taco Bell is considered exotic Mexican food, and even I know what flan is. And while I’m sure you are fascinated with how my life experiences directly relate to the show, what you really want to know is Marc and Amanda plan to pin the leak on Fat Carol. We also learn that Fat Carol calls Betty “Fat Betty”. I think we were supposed to be mad about this, but considering the show has made about 100 “Betty eats a lot” jokes, I found it kind of expected.

Back at Mode, Daniel and Wilhelmina have saved the day – they will make the Christmas spread an homage to an old Christmas spread in which Fey herself appeared sitting on a sleigh and (wait for it)… holding a red music box! And then Fey’s music box turns up – surprise! – in Daniel’s office. This is the Paris Hilton of music boxes (meaning it gets around, people, it gets around… I was going to make a Paris Hilton’s box joke there, but it made me feel dirty). Turns out Fey’s music box was a gift from Bradford, and is identical to a music box that Bradford gave his wife (Daniel’s mom). And the fun doesn’t stop there - inside Fey’s music box is a burned license plate and burned sunglasses.

We find out that Justin lied about his school project just to hang out at Mode, and Betty gives Justin a little speech about the evils of lying. Then it’s finally time for Betty and the gang to face Wilhelmina. Betty, no longer able to live with all the deception, fesses up. But Wilhelmina says that while each of the three told a portion, it was actually Fat Carol who had sex with Carlos and spilled everything and thus will be fired. I’m not entirely sure what the moral of this episode is. It’s not like Betty’s truth telling had any consequences whatsoever. Maybe the moral is “If you’re fat, don’t sleep with the hot guy because he doesn’t want you, just your secrets”? Or maybe “Only tell the truth if what you did isn’t bad enough to get you fired”?

Either way, the crisis averted, Betty rushes off to the photo shoot, bringing Justin along. As they walk in, Justin had what I thought was the best line of the night, when he announced “It’s just like Top Model, only no one is crying.” Also unlike Top Model - Miss J isn’t there, flashing her manly bits.



Bradford arrives at the photo shoot just in time to see Daniel put a music box into the spread. But this is his mom’s music box, not Fey’s. But instead of resolving anything between father and son, the snow starts to fall, the photo shoot begins and everything is right in the world…. Until, in the last moments of the show, they trick us with some twists. At Mode, Carlos gets a job with Wilhelmina as a spy for Mode. And Betty meets with someone from the HMO and learns that the real Ignacio Suarez is dead – her father is using someone else’s social security number. Confused, Betty goes home and turns down Ignacio’s offer of food. OK, we get it, Show, she’s upset! She likes food, but is so upset she won’t even eat! But how dare someone else call her Fat Betty?! While Betty is heading upstairs to her room, she hears a noise on the porch. Who could it be?! It’s Walter, singing the theme from “Beauty and the Beast”, Betty’s favorite song. Betty goes out to the porch, where Walter has set up a karaoke machine. She joins in the fun, because who doesn’t love a little karaoke with a cheating ex-boyfriend? Aw, cute. I mean, except for the neighbors, who can’t be thrilled that these two crazy kids are singing out of tune on the porch.

I've never been to New York and even I know that Amanda and Marc showing up at Betty's in Queens is a stretch on reality. Is there really that much time in a day? I also find it very hard to believe that a receptionist can afford Manolo's from even ten years ago. It was cute and necessary and maybe she got them from wardrobe. Also the ridiculousness could be blamed on the Telenovela element of non-reality. I keep mentioning Telenovela cause of how much I love it but I'm not getting it in the episodes I've seen so far. The only worthy Telenovela stuff is the Mysterious Woman and Vanessa Williams' lesbian scenes (I had to mention it).
Good job.

This re-cap is by far the best and simply hilarious! "New York high fashion is all about deception, lies, and anorexia" is the best comment ever and sums up the sillyness of this often confusing show. I also think that its true this is the first episode that's busted out of the Devil Wears Prada mold.

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Great recap. And I'm wearing Target shoes from last year, so you're cool in my book.

Busted a gut.

I hope Kelly writes more!

[TinkerbellAPixie]

Enjoyed the recap!

[B-Side]

This was some solid shit.

[tigereye]

Kelly! where in MO did you grow up? I'm still stuck here now, and it's damn cold! nice show coverage in your recap, can't wait till this week's!