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Super Moderator
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Los Angeles
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Jericho by Cristina -
11-04-2006, 05:45 PM
When we last left the town of Jericho everyone was drinking it up at Bailey’s bar when suddenly the walls started shaking, the TV screen went to static and all you could hear was the sound of clinking glasses. Quick! Save the vodka!! Everyone runs outside to figure out what the heyhey is going on when suddenly they see 2 rocket looking things being shot into the sky. Cool 4th July! Only not really because America doesn’t actually exist anymore. Not that this show ever actually talks about that fact, they just like to talk about human relationships and other mushy crap like that. Come on, let’s talk about mayhem! Let’s talk about bombs and stuff!
The townsmen start to wonder who actually could have set off these rocket/bomb thingies. My mild obsession with The Skeet continues as I see him standing at the front of the crowd. Mmmmm, Skeet. The people start to wonder if this bomb was set off by “them” or by “us,” when Papa Skeet interrupts (warning: count 1 for our weekly superfluous information about random cities located in middle of the US) to let them know that there are in fact missile silos located somewhere in Wyoming about 100 miles away from Jericho. Hmm 100 miles from Jericho, I wonder what is going on out there instead of in this lame boring town. But alas this is what we’re stuck with. Eric begins to ponder if these missiles signify the beginning of war. I for some reason start talking like Scarlett O’Hara in my head and I imagine Skeet saying “Enough about war! Fiddle dee dee.” Oh Skeet, you slay me sometimes.
Back at the house of lies Rod runs to his basement and quickly opens up his Computer of Lies and types “What is target? Ours or theirs?” Computer of Lies responds ominously “I’m compromised.” All I have to say is thank God that even though it’s Armageddon and America has been destroyed by nuclear missiles people still have the decency to type with proper punctuation. Imagine if they had just written “I’m compromised” with no period. Then we’d be like “Comprised…and what!! Compromised…and what!!” Allison suddenly shows up and starts asking what is going on outside and Rod very coldly orders her to get the rest of the family and bring them downstairs. Then he slams the door in her face because apparently he has a private bunker within his bunker. Worst dad ever!
Back in the streets of Jericho there’s all kinds of chatting going on about “who” “what” and “where” these rockets could have come from and someone throws in the obligatory “God bless American” when suddenly all of the lights in town go off. The camera pans up and all you can see are the rockets shooting into the sky. It’s pretty creepy, I’m not gonna lie.
Back at the house of lies all of the power cuts out and Rod is able to get one final message before his BFF signs off. BFF types in, “Save the cheerleader, save the world.” Oops wait, wrong recap! Sorry, rewind, the message actually said “end transmission.” Dude, so not as cool! He closes his computer screen and is met with darkness. But or course because this is Rod and Rod has all kinds of weird stuff lying around his house he just happens to have a few extra glow sticks lying around from that last rave he threw.
As Skeet and Rod later inform us. The power has gone out because an EMP, electromagnetic pulse, has gone off with the bombs and it fries anything with a circuit board. How do they know these things? I mean I know how Skeet knows these things because, come on, he’s The Skeet and The Skeet knows all. Eric is wondering if this means that help is coming but Papa Skeet things that bombs = bad times for Jericho.
Suddenly we return from commercial break to the opening scene of a clock telling us it’s 9:02, which I later realize is the title of this episode. The subscript on the screen tells us it’s “2 weeks later.” Jericho is looking a hot mess with water spilling everywhere and car windows broken into. It looks like society has really deteriorated to the point where a bunch of hooligans with piercings and backward baseball hats are playing baseball with cell phones. You know who doesn’t look a hot mess though, yes you guess it, Skeet. Skeet walks out to catch the boys right as they “accidentally” hit a cell phone into Gracie’s market window. Dale jumps out of the store and tries to defend Gracie’s honor but Skeet stops the fight. Come on Skeet, let’s have some vigilante justice! These are times of war! Dale is pissed cuz Skeet wouldn’t let him fight and gives him a big fat “talk to the hand” as he walks away. Then some kid named Sean tries to get in Dale’s face and Dale is like “Step off!”
Back at the house of lies Rod’s wife and daughter are washing their clothes in the kitchen sink. Dear God has society deteriorated so much that people have to wash their clothes in their own sinks! Their sinks! Have we lost our humanity! Rod informs the family that no one is coming to save them so they need to keep order in their society so that they can all survive. Allison walks away like “whatever dad” and Rod’s wife reminds him that he has been absent for 4 years so he can’t just waltz in here and act like he’s Allison’s dad or something. Where was he? God so many questions! He sees a picture on the wall of the family, minus him which makes him real pissed. He reminds his wife that they need to get rid of all of the evidence that might make people question that they are a real family. So what are they?
Back at city hall the citizens are all filing random complaints about unmowed lawns and busted water pipes and other minutia and please people we just had a nuclear bomb dropped on us. Can we get some perspective! We get a quick glimpse of the locals and see that, what do you know, there is another Black family in Jericho! I wonder if they are related to the Hawkins? I guess this scene is supposed to show us that the town is in turmoil.
But why talk about turmoil when we can go back to the bar of hopes and dreams. That’s right, back at Bailey’s bar Skeet is having a drink with Eric’s mistress and she keeps asking about his brother. Get over it mistress! He doesn’t want you. Take a hint. Then some random dude named Mitch comes in asking for a cold beer and Eric’s mistress seems really unhappy to see this dude. Ooh Skeet looks pissed too, like he might kick this guy’s ass. Vigilante justice! Apparently they know each other from high school. This guy is your pretty standard bad guy, but what sticks out to me is that he’s wearing this obnoxious puffy vest and a thermal undershirt. I hate him already. Hello it’s like sunny and everyone else is wearing short sleeved t shirts. Stop posing! Skeet and Puffy Vest look like they are going to throw down when Rod shows up, as usual, and lets it be known that he has Skeet’s back which makes PV dude peace out. But not before calling Skeet his “pal.” Apparently they have a history.
Back at SkeetHouse Mama Skeet wants to go feed her horses but Eric, as usual, is bitching about all the stuff that he has to do since he sacrifices so much for his town and blah blah blah. April comes downstairs from Papa Skeet’s sick bed and nothing really important happens in this scene except that April is wearing this totally heinous pink tuxedo shirt with a maroon vest over it. It’s seriously not good.
Back at the farm Stanley and Bonnie are fixing their tractor. Apparently it broke during the EMP. Mimi shows up and asks them if she can crash in their barn because her hotel shut down. We then find out that Mimi owns a Rolex and she’s wearing it even though it doesn’t work. I guess the world’s greatest watch will not withstand a nuclear bomb. Interesting. So she and Stanley flirt and he basically disses her for wearing a non functional watch. Oh snap! Then they flirt, blah blah, Stanley goes to look at his corn, blah blah. Oh wait, he peels away a piece of the corn only to find it…eww…covered in maggots! Gross!!
Back at the popo station Eric and rod are chatting it up about PV and here is what we learn: PV is a bad guy who lives in a “compound” outside of town with other bad guys and they are “survivalists.” Is this code for something? What does that even mean?
Skeet and Mama Skeet are out feeding their horses, and I begin to fantasize that Skeet is riding a horse in buckskins…mmm…Aaaaanyways suddenly all of the horses start going crazy and run out of the stable!! There is dirt everywhere! Mama Skeet is down!! She’s being trampled! Skeet yells to her to “stay down, stay down.” Apparently among his many talents, “how to survive a horse trampling” is on that list. Mama Skeet is ok, but man, that was scary. They look up only to see that PV is totally riding away on their horses and to make it worse he is now wearing camo! A crime to fashion! Dude, PV tried to trample Mama Skeet. Not cool!
Now we are back at SkeetHouse and MamaSkeet is ok but swollen. Oh wait that’s just her face. Skeet is real pissed and wants to kick some ass but Papa Skeet rides his high horse again claiming that their family does not solve problems that way. Like hell they don’t! God why won’t you let Skeet live! Let him roam free like the man stallion that he is! Apparently Skeet and PV were BFF back in the day but something bad happened, a boy was dead, and Skeet had to leave town. No seriously this is the extent of what we know so far.
Gracie’s supermarket of endless food supplies, but oh wait, the aisles are empty. Sadness. Stanley comes in looking for pesticide and luckily Gracie has like 5 giant bins left. Random interesting “fact” of the day: corn can survive acid rain because it has protective husks. Stanley offers to pay Gracie 20 bushels of corn for the pesticides. Wow, are we paying in corn now? Society has truly deteriorated…and yet. Gracie comes back with a counter offer that she wants to split the harvest with Stanley. Stanley does not like this idea. She’s slick, that Gracie. Mimi tries to bust in and defend her man saying that technically the farm belongs to the government so Gracie’s pesticide belongs to the government. Gracie comes back with the fact that the government doesn’t exist anymore. Oh snap!
Back at Bailey’s bar Eric is talking to his Mistress trying to see if she knows anything about PV. Somehow she knows that PV and his henchmen are selling the stolen horses out by the old abandoned airfield. She wants to talk about their lost love but all he cares about is horses. Also he doesn’t want to let her know that he’s over her. Actually he’s not over her, he’s just staying with his wife. More secret lovers I guess.
Now to the old abandoned airfield…it’s Skeet! Skeet to the rescue! He has managed to track down PV from the horse prints. Skeet is so smart! He walks around a bit and notices a corral of horses. Despite all the drama and the bomb and what not Skeet still takes the time to pet one of the horses. Oh Skeet, so good with the aminals. But suddenly he sees…wait, Dale? Dale stole his horses! Wow Skeet is no longer pissed, now he’s just really disappointed. Before Dale can say anything PV comes from out of nowhere and hits Skeet in the head with a big gun. More background story: Skeet and PV and some other kid used to be friends and they all wanted to rob a store one night but Skeet would not do it. So then PV and other kid went and other kid ended up having his head blown off. Sounds pretty serious. PV yells to Skeet “stop acting like an angel!” Dude, shut up PV! Skeet is an angel. Skeet threatens PV, “if you ever come near my family again, ill kill you.” PV looks really happy and responds, “Now that’s the Jake I know.” Ooh scary. Now I notice that not only is he wearing the vest and the camo but he’s also wearing cargo pants. God I hate him. He tells Skeet to get up but Skeet pretends to struggle and is like…bam the fake out and punches him in the stomach and they fight and there is dirt flying everywhere. Come on Skeet!! Then PV pulls out his gun but suddenly the Jericho police show up so PV runs outside, hops on a horse and rides away. More evidence that the Jericho police suck.
Mama and Papa Skeet are reliving the night when all the shit went down, and PV was in handcuffs, and there was some kid covered in blood and what if that boy would have been Skeet? Hmm what if? They are still being evasive so I can’t really tell you anything beyond that. Then Stanley shows up and he’s real pissed because Gracie is not cooperating and Papa Skeet lets him know that he’ll get town volunteers to help harvest the corn but Stanley gets really upset because, damnit, this is HIS corn not Jericho’s corn. They argue more and Stanley peaces out.
At the Jericho police station of suck Skeet is interrogating Sean and Dale. Dude, Skeet needs to chill. I mean it was just some horses. Rod shows up to inform Skeet that maybe he’s really mad about PV and not about the horses. He’s like, “dude it’s called transference, look it up.” They discuss the fact that PV and his gang of unruly “survivalists” are going to prey on the town like “locusts.” You know, for being a show named after a Biblical town the Bible references are few and far between. I’m just saying, give me some bloody water, give me some burning bushes, and give me the land of milk and honey. Dumb rich girl shows up to bail Dale out with her…get this…credit card. How many times to do we have to explain to this girl that an atomic bomb went off and life sucks now and the credit card machines don’t work because there is no electricity! Dale finally caves and says he’ll take Skeet to PV’s hideout.
Gracie’s store is now officially empty, even the much fought after pesticide. Apparently someone came and stole her pesticide from right under her nose. So she calls the cops and points out Stanley as the prime suspect. Wow, Gracie is being a real bitch. I feel like if this town has like 5 cops perhaps they should be working on other things a little more important than stolen pesticides like…oh I don’t know, the fact that there was just an atomic bomb 3 weeks ago!!. Stanley is real upset because Officer Bill used to be his BFF and BFF’s don’t accuse BFF’s of stealing pesticide. Officer can’t find any pesticide and leaves and Stanley realizes he has no other option but to burn his fields before the maggots get to the good corn. But before he does this Mimi informs him that she actually used her Rolex to pay some hooligans to steal Gracie’s pesticides. Wow, this could be love.
Suddenly we are transported to the house of lies where Allison is looking for her dad in the basement. Looking quickly turns to snooping as her dad is clearly not there. She ends up in his bunker within a bunker and finds the giant map with the red pins. Then she notices a gun but is more transfixed by the computer of lies and deceit. She opens the computer and is like, “Thank God Aim!!” and starts chatting and ROFLing up a storm. Ok I lie, she opens it and finds that daddy’s homepage is actually a photo of Skeet. Wait is Rod also obsessed with Skeet like me? Ooh it’s this real sexy picture of Skeet in what looks like a brown corduroy blazer. Oh snap Robert walks in and very slowly closes the computer screen and looks pissed. He drags her out of the room and she’s like, “Are all those cities gone?” and he’s like, “What do you think?” and she’s like, “How do you know?” and he’s like, “I don’t’ know for sure.” Lies!! Stop turning this house into a house of lies, Rod! Finally Rod decides to be honest with someone and tells Allison about the SOS message and that his computer did not get ruined during the EMP because it was “government issued.” So we’re beginning to see that Rod has some bigger part in all of this…like, oh I don’t know…HE KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN. That is yet to be determined, but he decides to do a little spy daddy bonding with Allison and wants to teach her to use his gun, but she has to keep it a secret. More secrets! House of lies!
Dale, Skeet, and Eric are on some random farm where PV is hiding, according to Dale. Turns out Dale had hidden the train food in this old abandoned farm house and had hired PV to guard it but now PV has peaced out with all of the town’s food. Great Dale, befriend the biggest asses in town and let them steal all of the town’s food. PV suddenly shows up and after a not very exciting capture scene Skeet finally gets to have his way with PV and just starts whaling on his face. Awesome! The next think you know we are at the Jericho jail where PV has been locked up.
Back at Gracie’s store Stanley comes in and tells Gracie he didn’t steal the pesticide and reminds her she has known him all his life and they all need to stick together. So true, so true.
Now we are in yet another abandoned field, so many in Jericho, and Robert has created a makeshift shooting range for Allison. What are the targets? You might ask. Ooh you know just old cd’s that have been lying around the house like “Vanilla Ice: to the extreme” and something called “music central 96.” Turns out Allison is a natural and busts a cap right into Vanilla.
Stanley looks out on his farm and has basically given up and decided to burn the whole damn thing. But look!! The whole town of Jericho has showed up lead by PapaSkeet on his high horse! Yay! Happy music starts playing and all is good in the world again. I mean except for that whole nuclear bomb thing, but whatevs. Random appearance by the teacher and Skeet’s ex. Dale apologizes to MamaSkeet and they pick corn together. Stanley offers Mimi his “fragrant barn” for sleeping purposes and then they bone. Oh wait this is CBS, the no boning zone. My bad. The Hawkins have joined the town and are also picking corn when Skeet gives Rod a knowing glance. Allison asks her dad “is he a good man or a bad man?” Rod responds in a way that can either be seen as hopeful or hopeless, depending on your interpretation. “Baby, there’s no such thing.” Deep, real deep.
April is still trying to fix here very quickly crumbling marriage, but Eric is not having any of it since he’s busy “saving the town” which we all know means boning the bar wench down the street. To make April feel better he promises to walk with her home that day. Um…I guess that makes up for cheating or whatever.
Now for the final montage scene: Rod is looking at pictures of him and a bunch of dudes wearing what look like tool belts. He crops himself out and super imposes his picture into his family picture with his kids. And then he laughs. Lies!! Lies I say! Skeet finds an old carving he did on a bench that says “screw this town” signed “Jake Green.” Initially I thought “who the hell is Jake Green?!” but I realized they meant the Skeet. He goes back to the jail cell to see PV and hopefully kick his ass. Vigilante justice! Sadly no ass kicking happens…yet. He just opens PV’s cell and takes out the lantern that is giving PV a small amount of light. PV yells finals words to Skeet, “Jake, are you ready for this? You know he’s gonna come for me, and he’s gonna come looking for you. No running away this time, Jake!” Skeet just walks on.
What did you think of this week’s episode of Jericho? Who is coming for Skeet? Is it the devil? Are these people ever going to acknowledge that their country has been bombed many times over?
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